Be the reason someone knows God is good

How I almost deconstructed my faith…

This Father’s Day, now yesterday, I found myself thinking about how good God is. This Father’s Day, I loved on my husband, and our precious son. We went to Sunday morning service and were blessed by an incredible teaching through Romans chapter 2. It was as we came to this verse, “4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”

I remembered God’s faithfulness in my own life, a time that I did not know who He was, as in I did not know His attributes or characteristics. A time that this day caused a deep pain and suffering, a day that almost rendered me incapable of anything. Verse 4 highlights some of the characteristics of God that at that time I did not see: God’s kindness, God’s forbearance, and God’s patience.

You see, I grew up in a home where I was so aware of the brokenness of sin that I knew there had to be a good God… but I did not exactly know how to reconcile those two things.

In my home my earthly father did not love me as a father should. The hands that should have protected and nurtured instead hurt, hit, and in the darkest parts of the days and nights did even worse.

This went on for several years. As I grew up, I was able to confront the abuse and recognize the dysfunction that was present in my own life, sin is never a one and done, the ramification’s are far fetching. However, I did not have other believers in my life. The church I had been attending did not do well in teaching or leading those who had experienced deep trauma or hurt, this resulted in me being outcasted. Naturally, the secular world was ready and waiting. It was as I embarked on this therapeutic journey that I came dangerously close to redefining God and the Gospel to be what I felt safe with.

If you have experienced deep hurt or abandonement from your Father, I am so very sorry. If you have experienced this, chances are you too have wrestled with the idea of God being a man, you have probably wrestled with the idea of the Trinity, and maybe friend you still are and that is ok. Thankfully, God is so patient with us and He knows our hearts AND our hurts. It was during this phase of therapy that my therapist, who had a theology degree and identified as a christian, said ” Maybe you should view god as a spirit form, or as ANYTHING you want. God doesn’t have to be male…”

At first this prickled my ears! I mean this sounded good! It sounded EASY! But… God gently called out to me, a quiet whisper in my heart, “You know this is not true” “You were made for more, you were made for ME”.

What my therapist was suggesting… Well this was the very thing, the very tactic, that satan used in the garden with Eve… But did God really say? This tactic was effective then and remains effective today. Our current culture will have us read all the self help books and take all the personality tests, we are eager to do this even! But what if… the best measure of knowing who we are is to know WHO God is? You see I had a big problem with trying to make God more like me, when in reality I need to be more like Him. The enemy is so tricky because this same snare is what allowed for me to view my good and perfect God, through the relationship I experienced with my sinful, evil, and broken earthly father.

The enemy told me God was the same as my earthy father.

God’s word told me: Jeremiah 9:24, “but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”

We were made in the image of God. We are made to know Him, and we are made to reflect His image to the world around us. Knowing God is critically essential to having a foundation in our relationship with Him. It is essential to grow in our knowledge of Him in order to live the Christian life. It is of significant importance because the way we view God (or do not view Him) impacts every other area of our lives; relationships, sin, worship, and healing. So it is no wonder that the very first thing the enemy wants us to call into question is who God is. If satan can distort this one area than the entirety of our belief system is on sandy ground, our faith will be shaky. If satan can cause us to question who God is then we will call into question God’s word.

God’s word is the very thing by which we come to believe and to know who He is and who we are, and of equal importance who we are not. The gospel is the very best Good News ever!

I want to share with you some of the things that helped me the most during my crisis of faith, the TRUTH’s that God used to draw me back to Him, to stay.

First thing, recognizing that the Bible is compromised of 66 books, with many stories, that make up ONE big story. The story of God’s love for us. When I discovered the metanarrative of the Bible it gave me an outline for development of my theology. As I studied individually and collectively the acts of creation, the fall, redemption, and restoration, I began to clearly see God’s mercy. In the stories that before seemed horrible and sad, say the entire first five books of the Old Testament, now were overflowing with God’s patience and mercy for His people. Instead of feeling confused about God sending Adam and Eve out of the garden, I could see the truth of His love for them and His protecting them from eating of the tree of life and thereby permanently separating mankind from Himself. When I read about how God clothed Adam and Eve, I now seen that the Lord Himself committed the first blood sacrifice for us, He loved us that much! When the Lord cursed the serpent, He also gave His best promise of a future redeemer who would put all things right again. I began to see Jesus throughout the whole Bible. OK, I recognize I am straying off my main point but I get so excited thinking about those early days of discovering God’s word being alive and active in my life and everyday moments.

The next area of study that was integral to my growing in the Lord and being submissive in what He was showing and saying to me was studying HIM. Studying His characteristiscs and attributes, clearly defining terms per His standard, as He is the creator of all things. Here is where I realized just how misled I had previously been. I began to realize the way I used terms like goodness and justice were really subjective because I hadn’t fully identified an objective standard for them. When pressed my faith was called into question because my foundation had significant damage… Below are just a few of the attributes that made an immediate difference in my ability to recognize a good God, a good FATHER, despite the suffering I endured by my earthly father. Now, I do want to be clear, knowing these things did take time to live out. It was painful. I spent equal amounts of time crying out to the Lord. This time though, I was humbled and submissive, I wasn’t asking for any “thing”. I was asking for more of HIM – for Him to show me how to take all the pain I had experienced in my life and turn it into an offering of praise. And that my friends, while it is so difficult for us is only a small thing for our lord, He is faithful to do so much more than we ask for…

God looks down from heaven
    on the children of man
to see if there are any who understand,
    who seek after God. (Psalm 53:2)

  • FAITHFUL – God is incapable of anything but fidelity. He is loyally devoted to His plan and purpose. Scripture References: 2 Tim 2:13 / Deut. 7:9 / Heb. 10:23
  • OMNIPOTENT – God is all powerful. His strength is unlimited. Scripture References: Mat. 19:26 / Job 42:1-2 / Jer. 32:27
  • OMNIPRESENT – God is everywhere. His presence is near and permeating. Scripture References: Prov. 15:3; Psalm 139:7-10 / Jer. 23:23-24
  • HOLY – God is undefiled and unable to be in the presence of defilement. He is sacred and set-apart. Scripture References: Rev. 4:8 / Lev. 19:2 / Hab. 1:13
  • INCOMPREHENSIBLE & TRANSCENDENT – God is high above and beyond human understanding. He is unable to be fully known. Scripture References: Ps. 145:3 / IS. 55:8-9 / Rom. 11:33-36
  • IMMUTABLE – GOD DOES NOT CHANGE. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Scripture References: 1 Sam. 15:29 / Rom. 11:29 / James 1:17
  • SOVEREIGN – God governs over all things. He is in complete control. Scripture References: Col. 1:17 / Ps. 24:1-2 / 1 Chron. 29:11-12
  • JUST – God governs in perfect justice. He acts in accordance with justice. In Him, there is no wrongdoing or dishonesty. Scripture References: Is. 61:8 / Deut. 32:4 / Ps. 146:7-9
  • LOVING – God is eternally, enduringly, steadfastly loving and affectionate. He does not forsake or betray His covenant love. Scripture References: Jn. 3:16 / Eph. 2:4-5 / 1 Jn. 4:16

This is just a short list that in itself could be hours and hours of study. I hope this is helpful to you and I pray that wherever you are in you journey that the TRUTH of God’s word comforts you and leads you to your good shepherd, to our good Father. As God’s creation, we were made for worship. We will worship, whether it is for His glory or our destruction, we get to decide. I pray that today you will find Him in the quiet moments, the loud moments, the hurting moments, and that you too will ask Him to turn your sufferings into offerings of praise. I pray that you will use the low place you may be experiencing as a new viewpoint for looking up at the cross.

God is and will be faithful to do far more that you can ask.

0

He Sets the Captives Free

So thankful for these moments; everyday moments the Gospel meets us in…

We need Jesus’ sacrifice and hurt so that we can sacrifice for others.
We needs His death to give us life.

GOD IS FAITHFUL 🙌
He will be an ever present help to the Mother who is longing to live out the Gospel in her everyday life, (Psalm 46). Side note: Great news, this is available to all who believe, not just Mothers.

“ In Christ we are not left without hope. God overcomes the curse by giving people another way to experience birth- not through a physical womb, but through the Holy Spirit.* While a mother gives birth through physical groan-ing, sweat and tears, her water breaking, and the shedding of her blood-
Jesus makes a way for life through his physical torture, sweat and tears in the garden, water pouring from his side, and his pure, perfect blood shed for us on the cross.
The story of the crucified Christ is the best birth story ever told, with elements that parallel the gospel picture in each labor and delivery room.
But Jesus doesn’t deliver babies he delivers captives.
Through his death and resurrection, Christ has perfectly fulfilled everything expected of us as mothers.”

Risen Motherhood Book, page 46

I am so thankful that Jesus set this captive free 🙌
Only in Jesus is my discontentments, bitterness, groanings, and complaining turned – towards the Cross. Towards laying down my life.

Jesus has us bring these sins to the cross.
They are washed in the blood of Jesus.
And there – they can be offered up, what may seem like crumbs to us are quiet acts of obedience, and worship, and are refining and preparing us for a future weight of glory.

He turns my moanings into:
A deeper love of Him
A fuller hope in salvation
A greater motivation to be obedient
And what He is really currently working on in our home life, a greater need to be in community with other believers.

God is our refuge and strength
An ever present help in trouble

Psalm 46:1

1

More lessons from my Son

Kind of bittersweet Jackson is now old enough, that his favorite alpaca lovey is breaking down. It’s amazing the comfort this little raggedy, falling apart alpaca gives to him. To some it would be time to put this little stuffie in the trash, but not Jackson. As the last pieces of leather and stuffing fall out he gently picks them up and stuffs back in what he can and discards the pieces he cannot – but to him this is the same lovey that he met as a newborn coming home. His place of safety, familiarity. I pray that Jackson’s care for his alpaca is an indicator of how strong his faith will be. I pray he will grow to be a man to follow after God’s own heart. I pray Jackson’s life and personality will be a testament of God’s glory.

Jackson’s tattered alpaca

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭6‬:‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This morning as I look at this little tattered thing I think of our Savior. I think of Mary seeing her son whipped and beaten beyond recognition. And I think of how dark it must have felt those hours during the crucifixion. I wonder did Mary see her baby boy up there, the child she had given birth to and nursed and raised. Did those watching begin to doubt Jesus being their Savior as they watched Him being broken and poured out? Did those with faith a little stronger still see the strong Rabbi they had come to love and believe to be the Messiah.

“But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands. I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭5‬, ‭7‬, ‭10‬, ‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

And likewise, I think of how God sees us. What we see as the least of us, the broken, the utterly sinful – when God sees us He sees us made in His image. When we come to Christ and accept Him, God sees us through the righteousness of His son. We are made a new creation. We put on our new selves and take off the old.

“throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭22‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What an amazing love.

““For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

0

Managing Well

Leviticus 25:23, “The land must never be sold on a permanent basis, for the land belongs to me. You are only foreigners and tenant farmers working for me.”

The people would one day possess land in Canaan but in God’s plan, ONLY God’s ownership was absolute. He wanted His people to avoid greed and materialism. If we have the attitude that we are taking care of the Lord’s property, we will make what we have more available to others. This is difficult if our posture and attitude is that of ownership. We would do good to think of ourselves as managers of the things under our care, not owners.

This mornings reading led me to Luke 16: 1-18; The Parable of the Shrewd Manager.

“So the master commended the unjust steward because he had dealt shrewdly. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light. “And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail, they may receive you into an everlasting home. He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own? “No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.””
‭‭Luke‬ ‭16‬:‭8‬-‭13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

While there are many explanations offered for this difficult story, it stands out to me that how we use our money/possessions is a good test of the depth of our commitment to following Jesus.

When we live by God’s kingdom priorities, we will use our money and resources in a way that:

1. Grows our faith

2. Grows our obedience

3. Is an example to others.

It is wise to use financial opportunities not to earn a ticket to Heaven, but to help others find Jesus. Our earthly investments will bring eternal benefit. When we obey God’s will, unselfishness will follow.

And take note:
The Pharisees in Jesus’s time acted piously to get praise from others BUT God knows what is in all hearts. While some considered their wealth to be a sign of God’s approval – God detested their wealth BECAUSE it caused them to ASSUME they were being blessed by God and they stopped seeking to humbly serve and grow closer to HIM.

Though prosperity may earn people’s praise it must NEVER substitute for devotion and service to God.

0

Where satisfaction is found…

This time of the year it is really easy to take our eyes off of the Reason for the Season: Jesus.

It is easy to start looking around at what others have, maybe it is their gifts or finances. Or maybe it’s something larger like their marriages, family or children. Things that are not inherently wrong to long for or desire.

But friends, let me encourage you to remember, seek the vertical first and foremost – then the horizontal may come. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33).

We mustn’t forget that we should be pursing holiness, holiness anchored of course in the grace of God. “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:15-16). Salvation is by grace and sanctification is by grace.

Holiness in finances.
Holiness in relationships.
Holiness in sexuality.

“For you know God paid a ransom for you to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which loose their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him as your ransom, long before the world began, but now in these last days he has been revealed for your sake.” (1 Peter 18-20).

The Holy Spirit enables us in this pursuit but we are 100% responsible for this pursuit; as we are 100% dependent upon the Holy Spirit to enable us.

“The pursuit of holiness is a joint venture between God and the Christian. No one can attain any degree of holiness without God working in his life, but just as surely no one will attain it without effort on his own part.” – Jerry Bridges

  1. Stop seeking satisfaction.
  2. Seek God.
  3. Experience true satisfaction that is only found in God.
0

Resting in the Light

Sometimes in the quiet hours of early morning the Lord blesses me in the most unexpected ways.

Every morning of late Jackson, my three-year-old son, has been getting up incredibly early and I find myself grumbling from the struggles of the day before or worse even dreading the struggles of the day to come.

But not Jackson.
The very FIRST thing he does each morning is find the light. Sometimes the light gets in through the expected places and sometimes it gets in through the unexpected places.

Regardless, he goes to it, he squats down and he basks in it. After he rests in this light, he then goes and get his “friends for the day” and he holds them up in the light too. He share this light with those closest to him.

What a beautiful picture of the grace God gives us each day. Grace that enables us to give grace to others. A picture of how His mercies are new each morning. This morning I stopped and rested in the light with Jackson. We prayed and I paused, humbly accepting that I once again have began to rely on myself more than Jesus to get through the hard. I grabbed my Bible and spent some time in the light. I found rest at the feet of Jesus, I found rest soaking in HIS word.

Children are a blessing from God in profound ways.

Jackson has a way of reminding me what is important when I forget. For a season I found myself sitting with him (still do) for long hours through the night – often beside the bathtub trying to soothe him. During that season the Lord impressed on my heart, “If you cannot even be still for your son, how than can you be still for me?”.

This season the Lord is using Jackson to remind me that life is found in the light of the world. In the life and grace of Jesus.

Lord forgive me, and help me to not resent these moments and days and months of intense pressure. Help me to recognize the gifts of these moments to help me to strive to enter the rest that is coming. Help me to do all things in the strength that YOU Lord provide.

“Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. “And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭2‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

1

Fruitful Success, Leadership, and Servitude…

Studying in Joshua this morning and it gave me a great opportunity to reflect on how we (society) define leadership and success in the world, versus how we define these two things Biblically as Christians.

God gave success to the Israelites when they obeyed His plan and not their own.

Victory came when they trusted in the Lord; not in their own military or material wealth.

Just this week I had the opportunity to present for a speaking engagement as the Executive Director of the non-profit I work for. The group we were speaking for had chosen three non-profits to present and one of those would be awarded a nice donation to their program.

Leading up to this event I found myself asking the Lord to use this as an opportunity to glorify Himself in some way. I asked the Lord to help me lead with grace and humility and for His Will to be done EVEN IF that meant my program not being chosen.

In the past, I had the tendency to only consider an opportunity successful based on the accolades gained. I would burn myself out from exhaustion and the pressure to perform perfectly to a standard that no human is capable of. Thankfully, Christ has freed me from all of that. It is not through I but in Him that all things are accomplished.

I did lead with grace, the Lord blessed me with wisdom, and my program DID NOT get chosen for the award but the program who had the greatest need DID. After the presentations and awarding I was able to genuinely congratulate and celebrate the winner, something that I noticed not every leader did. As I was packing to leave several individuals came up with personal donations of their own to my program and while this amount was less than what the award would have been, the hearts behind the giving was MORE.

Isn’t that just like God to double the blessing, to take what little we have to give and to fill our cups until they are overflowing.

It is key that we pursue God’s standard for success rather than the world’s. Worldly success is subjective and never satisfied, success in the Lord is true and never changing.

D.L. Moody wisely said, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at something that doesn’t really matter.”

Success equates obedience! Success is not controlling others but it is allowing yourself to be controlled by God! Our examples of success comes from God’s word. Biblical success is evidenced by humility, grace, wisdom, and patience.

This mornings passage also gave me some reflection on leadership. Joshua is an example of an excellent leader. Joshua was confident in God’s strength and this made him courageous in the face of opposition and kept him seeking God’s advice!!

Strong leaders are led by God.

Joshua taking over as leader following Moses’s death had to be difficult for the people; as it is for any of us when we go through leadership changes. As a society we have seen the difficulties of leadership changes nationally – and locally. With this we have seen how those of the world have responded and the contrast of how those who are in Christ have responded. Christians have the hope that is stored up in Christ, Christians have the cross.

A few Biblical principles that we can remember when we are struggling with what the world is calling “leadership” and “success”.


1. God’s leadership can always be trusted. (Isaiah 48:17-18).

2.Whomever He appoints over us, we are called to pray for them. (1 Timothy 2:1-3)

3. We are called to submit to God’s Word as the ultimate authority, be subject to our governing authorities, (Romans 13:1) and follow godly leaders as they follow Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1)

Act today on what you know God has said, and He will assure your success in carrying out His purposes!

Joshua 24:15, “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord”.

0

Less Hustling & More Trusting

Joshua 9:1-18, “7The Israelites replied to these Hivites, “How do we know you don’t live nearby? For if you do, we cannot make a treaty with you.” 8They replied, “We are your servants.” “But who are you?” Joshua demanded. “Where do you come from?…14So the Israelites examined their food, but they did not consult the Lord. 15Then Joshua made a peace treaty with them and guaranteed their safety, and the leaders of the community ratified their agreement with a binding oath. 16Three days after making the treaty, they learned that these people actually lived nearby!

Reading through this passage in Joshua made me consider the amount of times that I am caught up with myself and what I think is best or right – that I FAIL TO CONSULT THE LORD!

There is a ton going on in this passage. We have a group of Kings joining together to come against Joshua and the Israelites, then there is the people who are in the land afraid, and then we have Joshua who is now leading the Israelites and constantly assessing their state of affairs and their next moves, both militarily and practically.

When the Gibeonites came proclaiming to be from a distant land, the Israelites sampled the provisions BUT did NOT consult the Lord (Joshua 9:14). Because they failed to consult the Lord they were unable to see through the deception. Israel’s leaders were deceived. Despite the fact that God had already specifically instructed them not to enter into any treaties with the inhabitants of Canaan (Ex. 23:32; Deut. 7:2; 20:17-18).

Joshua knew enough as a strategist to consult the Lord before going into battle – but the peace treaty (covenant) seemed innocent. However, by failing to go to God for guidance they ended up dealing with a lot of angry people and an awkward alliance.

Joshua failed to consult the Lord.

How often do you do the same?

For me personally, I struggle in new situations or changing situations to take the time to slow down and consult with the Lord. So much so, that sometimes I do not even realize the situation at hand is the vehicle God is using to answer my prayers. I forget about the promises God has already given me. I start hustling and depending on my self before I even realize it.

I do not intentionally not consult the Lord.

However, I can fail to be Intentional in consulting Him.

Therefore, I must be intentional with my attention, and actively look for, wait on, and be still for the Lord.

In the example we see here in Joshua, God uses this situation for good even still! Just like He has done for me and probably you too so many times! Such a merciful God!

Romans 8:28-29, ” And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn.

Joshua reminds us that even the best human leaders are fallible and fall short. God was setting the foundation for His Son Jesus, whom would come to be the perfect Prophet, King, and Priest.

Because of the treaty entered into between the Gibeonites and Israelites, the Gibeonites had

  1. The opportunity to come to know God.
  2. The Gibeonites got to experience God’s grace by the security and protection they now had from the Israelite nation.
  3. Because of this covenant the Gibeonites turned from their false gods and came to know the God of Israel.

We share something with the Gibeonites in that we too experience God’s mercy and grace – through our salvation found in Jesus Christ. While we were still sinners He sent Jesus for us (Romans 5:8).

  1. We have the opportunity to know Jesus Christ as our Savior. (see John 3:16)
  2. We get to experience God’s grace when we accept His Son, Jesus, as Lord of our life. This grace is sufficient in all things. (see John 1:16; 2 Corinthians 12:9).
  3. Because of the fulfilling of the law, through the death of Jesus on the cross, completed in His resurrection, we are no longer slaves to sin and death but have been born again through the Spirit (see Romans 6:11).

While Israel needed to be made right with God again and again (Jos. 24), Jesus died for all who would trust in Him to be made right with God forever (Jn. 3:16).

The work has been finished (Jn. 19:30); when life gets busy or your mind is overwhelmed by the chaos, in ALL things, go to the ONE who holds ALL things together.

When we consult with the Lord, we find peace. In His word we find life and wisdom. When you intentionally seek Him – He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

1

Ready to Pardon

But you are a God of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and rich in UNFAILING love… this is your God who brought you out of Egypt.

Just a few days ago I found myself in the book of Nehemiah. This is not a book that I am familiar with and I was struck by the people’s prayer and confession of their sins in chapter 9. Their confession comes AFTER reading God’s law, for three hours they read and for three hours they confessed. Then they prayed! It was during their prayer that I felt tears well up in my eyes. My tears began to fall as I read the history of Israel and of the works God had done, this was an efficient way to remind the people of their great heritage and God’s promises. Isn’t it just like US to forget?

I was humbled by the reality of God’s goodness, ready to pardon our sins, when we appropriately come to Him in humility and repentance. I was taken back in my memory to the times God has pardoned me; taken back to times before I knew Him personally and I was relying on my SELF. The Israelites were no stranger to periods of intense rebellion and sin, yet they also were no stranger to God’s unfailing love, goodness, and mercy either! The same for me. Perhaps, this is true for you too?

Nehemiah 9:33, “Every time you punished us you were being just. We have sinned greatly, and you gave us only what we deserved. Wow! Feeling convicted? I know I was! I unknowingly often forget the amount of times God has forgiven me, and how reckless I can be with that forgiveness.

Ruth Schwenk puts it this way, “Yes, sometimes my experience of God doesn’t match my expectation of God, but that is not evidence of the absence of God.

I have a deep history of trauma that includes sexual abuse, trafficking, drug addiction, and self harm. I have been clean and sober for 14 years now thanks to the GOODNESS OF GOD! But the journey to get here, like the journey of Israelites, could have been so much shorter had I been obedient and faithful; had I been trusting the Lord FULLY. It took me a long time to understand why when I prayed to be free from drug addiction I did not receive a radical transformation; yet, when I prayed for deliverance from my self-harm I did receive a radical deliverance. I received FREEDOM. This is by no means a blanket statement on the greatness of God’s sovereignty, I share as a caution. A caution to reflect on yourself and posture before the Lord. Are you wanting deliverance in order to step more fully into God’s design for you or are you seeking deliverance so your life can be easier.

For me, drug addiction was a nuance and a complication, I could see it hurting others around me in a practical way. I could also hide it and excuse it away. For self harm, my posture was very different. I was afraid I would loose my life, I was afraid of the scars and marks it was leaving all over my body. I was afraid that the act of self harm was more offensive to the Lord because of the work He done on the cross to PARDON ME! I prayed consistently for a year solid, I offered the Lord all I had at the time and that was humble, raw, and honest prayer. I lamented, I yelled, I pleaded, and I BOWED down. I remember very clearly when the Lord gave me a message, dropped right into my heart.

I have come to learn that this is called a Rhema word, in Greek this literally means an “utterance” or “thing said”. He gave me a word and after, in His sovereignty, it was confirmed even more when a stranger gave me a verse.

He spoke into my heart, in the firmest but gentlest voice, “Were my wounds not enough for you?” What seemed like the next day someone handed me a folded piece of paper with 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” That day my soil became more fertile, the seeds of the yester-years sprouted forth. I never self harmed again. I would continue to struggle with drug addiction and relapses after that, but I can now see how my choices put me in the wilderness and how the Lord worked those things for my good. I grew in grace, I learned to trust in Him more fully, I learned WHO my Heavenly Father was. And let me tell you, He is so much more than I realized! I also learned that the Lord truly will provide all we NEED. Notice I said “NEED” not want.

Like the Israelites, it serves us well to remember our personal history. This will help us to avoid making the same mistakes of our past and equally important, I think it serves as a reminder to our spiritual growth and can help us identify patterns, recognition of these things will help us to become the kind of person God wants us to be.

God puts no limits on the amount of times we can come to Him to obtain His mercy – BUT – WE must Come, in order to receive it.

Psalm 40:1-3, “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.

We serve a gracious and merciful God – this should cause you to take a look at your own life, sometimes we take for granted today’s provisions and today’s grace.

If you have something in your life, a addiction like me or a reoccurring difficulty continue to to ask God for help AND be prepared to make changes! Changes in BOTH attitude and behavior. God will meet us where we are BUT He does not expect us to stay there… your hurt or your trauma may not have been your fault but it is your responsibility to go to God for healing, to receive the grace, mercy, and most importantly the freedom He has for you.

I like the way Matthew Henry puts it in his commentary on Nehemiah 9, he says, “Let all remember that pride and obstinacy are sins which ruin the soul. But it is often as hard to persuade the brokenhearted to hope, as formerly it was to bring them fear…”

Jesus paid it all on the cross. Your sins have been paid for in full. Approach His throne today and receive the grace and the healing – THE LIFE – He has for you!

We have a God who is ready to pardon, the ransom has been paid, do not let your sense of unworthiness keep you away.

Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

1

What or Who has Authority in Your Life?

As I have been watching events unfold these last few years on both a national and local scale, I have found the book of Judges impressed upon my heart. In particular I have been drawn to the events that unfold in Judges 19. My heart aches as I read this tragic story. I feel grief for both Israel historically and for the people (You and I) today.

Judges 19 documents an horrific account of a Levite’s concubine, who is abused and battered to the point of death, because of the Levite’s choice.

This woman should have been safe in a city full of Israelites. Instead, she is the victim of a group of perverse and wicked men who prove themselves to be no better than the Canaanites. Judges 19 reminds us of a similar story and time in Biblical History, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19.

Similar to the sinful men in Judges 19 (V22-25) who demand for the Levite to be sent out to them to have sex with (the Levite instead offers his concubine), Genesis 19 (V4-8) documents Abraham’s nephew Lot in a similar set of circumstances. Evil men of the town came to Lot’s door demanding to have sex with the two male guests inside of Lot’s house (Lot offers his two virgin daughters instead). These two stories are not exactly alike in detail and outcome but they do highlight just how easily man can fall into the bondage of sin and rebellion against God.

Small acts of disobedience turn into larger acts of evil.

What drastic consequences can result when social protocol carries more authority than moral convictions…

“In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.” (Judges 17:6). This is a key verse and phrase in the book of Judges;

This phrase, "in those days Israel had no king..." is repeated several times: In the epilogue indicating the main theme of the book and this phrase is used to close the book as well.

The period of the Judges, while bloody and horrendous at times, exemplifies the magnitude of God’s loving mercy and His heart for His people. Judges is a historical book documenting the history of Israel from a theological viewpoint. The repeated failures and Israel’s unfaithfulness to God is on full display! BUT… so is God’s character! You get to see a just God allowing a nation to fully reap the consequences of their actions; You see a God who REPEATEDLY proves to be faithful and merciful, and with testing HE provides deliverance. Through many cycles of disobedience we get to see God’s love for us in HIS patient discipline.

The people had clear direction from the Lord on what they were to do going forward now that they were in the Promised Land of Canaan.

However, true to theme the people decided that they knew better and chose for themselves what they would do, oftentimes ignoring very clear directions from the Lord such as:

Failing to obtain all of the Promised Land; they did not drive out the inhabitants of the Land, disobeying the covenant from Deut. 12:9. This unfaithfulness necessitated judges needing to be raised up to lead them.

The failure of the generations after Joshua to teach God’s covenant to their children had devastating impacts spiritually, politically, socially, and economically. “After that a whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who new neither the Lord nor what He had done for Israel”, Judges 2:10.

A few practical takeaways from the book, broadly speaking:

  1. When we allow seemingly harmless habits to go unchecked before the Lord, they grow and can become dominating forces that rule us. And without God – there is no stopping the depravity and the deeds which follow.
  2. Unity of the Church is important, holding each other accountable to God’s laws is essential. Obedience will lead to blessings.
  3. When the Israelites faith disintegrated, their unity as a nation disintegrated. They could have taken complete possession of the land had they obeyed and trusted God. At this time they had been in the promised land around 300 years.
  4. The nation failed to establish a government based upon God’s moral principles. Laws were not enforced, crime was ignored, and the magnitude of these crimes grew. It took a terrible tragedy to wake the people up and even then, instead of the matter being dealt with swiftly, many lives were lost unnecessarily.
  5. To prevent our unresolved problems from turning into major conflicts, we should take action to deal with them swiftly.
  6. We find our direction through God’s word, prayer, and obedience.

The most important takeaway from the period of the Judges is a warning! A firm warning against synchronizing your behavior with the behavior of the world. In Christ we are called to be set apart and holy, not conforming to this world. (Romans 12:2) (John 17:15-18) (Ephesians 2:10).

This book provides for us the groundwork laid for the people’s needs of a righteous king, ONE who will save the people and change their hearts, ONE who will lead them to faithfulness to God. Judges shows us the imperfection of fallen man and gives a stark contrast to who the Christ will be and our need for a perfect Savior.

I encourage you to pray and search the scriptures to test what is true, I encourage you to pray and ask God to reveal to you anything in your life that you may be giving authority to over the authority of God’s word; for His word is the light to guide our path (Psalm 119:105).

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑