Lamentations 3:40-44, ““Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord! Let us lift up our hearts and hands to God in heaven: “We have transgressed and rebelled, and you have not forgiven. “You have wrapped yourself with anger and pursued us, killing without pity; you have wrapped yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through.” Lamentations 3:40-44 ESV
What a gift that God purposefully allowed these words to become part of His Holy, inspired word. These verses are proof that God wants us to bring everything to Him, honestly.
For 5 years, I have recorded every meal, medication, poop, poop details, drinks, all details that make up the big picture of Jackson’s gut health. This has helped me to make shifts and those have been helpful – but even more so this has became a living history of my raw emotions going up to the Lord. My tears, frustrations, unknowns, so much effort, sometimes no gains, only setbacks….
The speaker of Lamentations in 3:44 said, “You God have wrapped yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through.”
It is ironic he said this as a line in prayer to God. Even if you feel like your prayers are not being heard, keep praying! Despite the speaker’s doubt, clearly God did hear this prayer since it is recorded in His Scriptures!
The text began with a call to “test and examine OUR ways” and return to the Lord.
The people had not even asked for God’s forgiveness, let alone repented or turned, but here we see the speaker beginning to make this shift. Healing takes time.
Psalm 147:3 says the Lord, “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. Whether our heartbreak is an underserved outcome of others sinning against us or even if it’s caused by our own sin, God forgives those who seek His forgiveness.
He comforts. He mends.
For the first time this year, I am throwing away huge stacks of these “remembrance” pages. My Savior knows Jackson and He sees me. I am trusting Him and I will keep praying these special prayers for my special boy, knowing God will heal, forgive, and mend. ❤️
The harshness of my words filled our home this morning. Fill in the blanks here and it is possible what I said to my husband was worse still. What started off with a sudden wake up due to dogs barking and cats meowing turned into the ugliest session of not choice first fruits from my mouth. Our very loving but too domesticated dog Barnabas will not poop in the rain, living in the PNW this is a PROBLEM to say the least. I let him outside only for him to bark to get back in and place a perfectly positioned poop right in front of the Christmas tree. Before I get this cleaned up, the cats also seemed to have a struggle session and one of them used the bathroom in our bed! I am running around trying to clean this up, quietly, while my son is still asleep on the couch getting some of his best sleep that he has had in several nights…with each step I took my foot falls became louder, my heart rate faster, and the ugly parts of my heart started to bubble out from my mouth.
James really knew what he was saying when he proclaimed, “How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body…”
My husband was calmly doing his morning routine, this seemed to only make me even more frustrated. I then did the worst thing possible – I began to run through the list in my head of how I always get stuck doing all of the things. I work, I mom, my son is autistic, I have slept (barely) on the couch for 6 nights, now I have tons of laundry to do, Jackson still has hand, foot, and mouth disease, I haven’t wrapped any presents…. Sister the list just went on!
"Remember my affliction and my wonderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me." (Lam. 3:19-20).
I knew this was not the way. I am so blessed and even in this season of sickness and what feels like total isolation, even beyond the normal isolation that I (we) feel as a family affected by Autism, God has been present! We have had peace that surpasses understanding even in high fevers, emergency rooms, and everywhere in between. We have been graceful to each other as Christ is towards us… But in a moments time I forgot. I chose to see my circumstances as bigger than my God. I forgot that the enemy hates marriages and is after our children.
When my husband left for work my heart was heavy, my soul was what the writer of Lamentations referred to as, “bowed low” within me.
And then in a moment of what could have ONLY been the prompting of the Holy Spirit- I grabbed my prayer journal and began writing down all of the things I have been GRATEFUL for these last several days. Friend let me tell you – darkness will flee from the presence of God’s light. It took mere moments for my heart to soften and for my rage to be replaced by the deep awareness and need to repent. I prayed, I opened my Bible, and I got back to my study in Lamentations that has been on an extended pause this last week. And God’s Word, His living Word, spoke directly to what my soul needed.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion", says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him".
In Lamentations 3:18, we see the speaker say, “his endurance has vanished” and in 3:20, “his soul is bowed low”…. His soul was remembering his affliction continually…
BUT – the man has a turning point – he CHOOSES to do something important. The mans situation felt dark and hopeless. In Lam. 3:21 the man says, “But this I call to mind…”
Dr. Christopher Wright describes this verse in this way,
“It is the deliberate, determined, teeth gritting decision to call something to mind.”
This was not a reaction based purely on feelings – pay attention here – THIS WAS AN ACTION OF WILL!
Consider how Godly Grief is different than Worldly Grief:
2 Corinthians 7:10-11, "For Godly grief produces repentance that leads to Salvation without regret. Whereas worldly grief produces death."
Simply defined: Repentance is regret for having lost God's approval, which leads to a commitment to reverse one's conduct and live for God. Worldly grief is grief brought about by loosing the world's approval, this leads to trying to regain that approval, and this produces death or divine judgment.
Lamentations 3:23 says, God’s “mercies” are new every morning. This refers to not only a literal morning but also figurative as well. Every night we go to bed knowing the sun will rise the next day. The morning will come. The same is true of God’s mercy.
Even when it feels dark, the daylight of God’s illuminating GRACE and HOPE is on the way. Recall this truth to mind when times are hard. And the best way to call this truth to mind is remember it.
These few verses in Lamentations this morning reminded me of these foundational truths:
God’s love is steadfast. It never leaves us or changes.
God’s mercies never end, they are new everyday.
God is faithful.
God is my portion, in Christ I lack NOTHING.
God ALONE is where I find HOPE that never ceases.
Every Advent I pray that the Lord will reveal Himself to me in a new, deeper way. This morning, this last week, He did that experientially.
Friends, I pray my blundering moment this morning reminds you too that God’s mercies are new every morning. We are victorious in Christ – we have the FREEDOM to CHOOSE HIM. And in Him we will find everything we need.
The Meek Momma 