Tag: Recovery

Keep showing up: Going to church with a Special needs child

The enemy would want nothing more than for my family to stop coming to church.

If any of you have read the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis then you may be able to imagine that the enemy doesn’t need us to “hate” God in order to pull us away from God. The enemy would see to it that we would back away slowly, not completely. It would begin with missing one or two Sundays, looking to others who “watch online”, to compare the ways we are close to Jesus and to say that because of our circumstances being “different” we are excused from corporately gathering… then it would become that Jackson’s class is better off without him… that we are a burden to the church.

The Bible is so clear here though – and if you know the truth then you can discern the lie.

Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”

Hebrews 10:25 “not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

And we are all important in the body as the Lord has blessed each one differently, “But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.” (1 Corinthians 12:18)

You may not know that 90+ percent of families with a family member experiencing autism don’t go to church. That 8/10 marriages end in divorce by the time the child is 4 years of age. Or that Suicide is the highest cause of death for young people experiencing autism with only drowning surpassing it.

These numbers tell me that we (special needs/disabilities families) need the church!!!

And that other families need to see us in the church. Pushing through the hard for the joy ahead.

This is not an immediate or tangible joy or a fit of “happiness” in the sense of what we think culturally when we use the term joy. I am talking the deep joy that comes from God alone.

The joy of knowing that in Christ is:

Healing

Forgiveness

Resurrection And Renewal

One thing I have learned is nothing, and I mean nothing, makes me yearn more for our King Jesus’s return than when I am carrying my hurting, sweet boy out of church crying out and unable to recover… hearing him begging to go back to his “big kid” class but lacking the “skills” needed for that day…

the helplessness I feel to see him hurting and longing to belong and no way for me to to fix it…

I also know humility is best learned in the “lab” not by reading others experiences and outcomes but by allowing God to configure the right parts needed to meet you and change you in the season He has you. We are taught to surrender.

And so this I cling to:

God is good

God is good to Jackson

God is good to us.

And God is good in autism.

Lord, enable me and my family not to just keep showing up but to glorify you! That we would show up with empty and outstretched hands so that we may receive the abundant life you have for us. And in that we continue to learn that in YOU and being with YOU is sufficient for all of ours and Jackson’s needs. Amen.

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It’s giving – perspective shift…

It’s perspective giving to me to see that I posted this two years ago… in this time so much of the day to day has remained the same. The Lord continues to use Jackson and our struggles to grow us, love us and discipline us. And, Jackson is still looking for and finding the light. Sometimes I get frustrated at my humanness and how long I can struggle to fully submit certain seasons to the Lord…

But then I am reminded that slow growth makes us strong and sturdy. I read somewhere that it can take an olive tree anywhere from 3-5 years to produce fruit, it is the trees slow growth that makes it sturdy. Similarly, we can’t fast track our spiritual growth without it being a risk to the fruit being produced.

Thank you Lord for these moments with you 🙌🥺

—————————————————————————

Sometimes in the quiet hours of early morning the Lord blesses me in the most unexpected ways.

Every morning of late Jackson has been getting up incredibly early and I find myself grumbling from the struggles of the day before or worse even dreading the struggles of the day to come.

But not Jackson.
The very FIRST thing he does each morning is find the light. Sometimes the light gets in through the expected places and sometimes it gets in through the unexpected places.

Regardless, he goes to it, he squats down and he basks in it. After he rests in this light, he then goes and get his “friends for the day” and he holds them up in the light too.

What a beautiful picture of the grace God gives us each day, that enables us to give this grace to others. A picture of how His mercies are new each morning. This morning I paused and stopped in the light with Jackson. We prayed and I paused, I grabbed my Bible and spent some time in the light.

Children are a blessing from God in so many ways. Jackson has a way reminding me of what is important when I forget. For a season I found myself sitting with him (still do) for long hours through the night – often beside the bathtub trying to soothe him. During that season the Lord impressed on my heart, “If you cannot even be still for your son, how than can you be still for me?”.

This season the Lord is using Jackson to remind me that life is found in the light of the world. In the life and grace of Jesus.

Lord forgive me, and help me to not resent these moments and days and months of intense pressure. Help me to recognize the gifts of these moments to help me to strive to enter the rest that is coming. Help me to do all things in the strength that YOU Lord provide.

“Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. “And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭2‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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Quiet morning thoughts

Quiet mornings with Jackson before work is one of my very favorite things ❤️

Jackson having a morning snack by the tree

Last week, every morning was chaos. Dogs, child, pee and poop 💩 of all kinds everywhere. Cold and flu season. All of the things. But man, God’s tender mercy got us through.

It’s hard not to be grateful when it’s Christmas time.
A time filled with reminders of Promises kept.

🎄 Jesus, the Promised One, came to save and give grace. We cannot save ourselves, but Jesus died in our place so that we could be His forever and made new.

🎄 The Bible holds hundreds of Promises, and Jesus is the answer to each one. In Him, we have hope, joy, peace, and love.

🎄 Jesus came as the Promised One long ago.

👑 Someday, He is coming again to make all things right forever because God ALWAYS keeps His Promises.

🙌 God keeps every last one.

🙏 Cling to this truth today if you need it friend. The holidays can be hard. I remember for so long this time of the year had a sting. It was a reminder of all the things I did not have. I did not have a safe home, family, a warm place to snuggle or a soft place to land. And some years were just dark.

🍎 I can now look back and see that I was hearing the lies of the enemy over the trumpet of grace. I was hearing the lies of the enemy say I was not worthy instead of knowing My King 👑 calls me Worthy.

Because of Christ, I now walk in freedom from the bondage of sin that leads to death. ✝️

The greatest gift of Joy is knowing Christ. You CAN rest in His faithfulness to us now and in the future as we remind our heart’s of God’s faithfulness in the past.

Friend, I don’t know why you may be hurting today- It may be because it is cold and flu season and you have poop all over your house or maybe it’s something deeper that you may not even know how to say –

Let me encourage you with a gentle reminder: HEALING AND HOPE will only be found in Jesus. Not in the Pinterest worthy pictures or elaborate decorations this season.

In Christ alone is rest, joy, comfort.
Behold Him this season.

❤️

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Be Gentle

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

It stands to reason, then, that ungracious words can produce an adverse effect on our well-being. Allowing ourselves to express frustrations enables “feelings” to rage unchecked in our system.

But when we make certain words and tones off limits, we begin retraining the neural pachways of our brains toward gratitude and positivity – a process that Scripture calls the “renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2) and one that secular science is finding more and more support for. And this is something our Pastoral team has mentioned in several Sunday sermons as of late.

I find it fascinating how the Lord has created us as holistic beings. The physical affects the emotional, which can bolster or wreak havoc on the spiritual.

I don’t know about you all, but for myself I am really having to bring my thoughts back to Christ constantly right now. Rallying together with others and comparing or complaining about the loads we are bearing, the election season!!, and the coming holiday stresses are not good things for us to be doing Christians! Even when we do not move forward with the intention of participating, it is all around us in the world right now. Praise the Lord that for the Christian this is not our home! We are set apart for HIS kingdom and HIS glory!

The only real load we have ever bared was taken from us at the Cross when our Savior chose to drink from the cup the Father gave HIM – so that in and through HIM we could be made FREE!!! Praise the Lord! In light of this not much matters except furthering HIS kingdom.

The more you shovel your feelings in the Lord’s direction – the less important your feelings will actually feel – in the BEST possible way!

Minute by minute,

Lord, help me to be calm.
Jesus, give me kind speech.
Father, show me how to be gentle.

👉Colossians 3:12 says, “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
👉Ephesians 4:2 admonishes us to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
👉And of course, the famous “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22-23 includes gentleness with love, joy, peace, self-control, and other stellar attributes.

The Bible has a lot to say on gentleness –

Don’t use grace as an excuse not to grow.
In Christ, we CAN choose gentle speech.
And when we get it wrong, cause we will, know that Christ’s love covers a multitude of sins.

Let’s follow the Lord’s example this season, being slow to anger and abounding in love. (Numbers 14:18).

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In Christ my Cup Runneth Over

One of the things I can look forward to in times of difficulty is how the Lord is going to use that thing or season to teach me.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

These are also times that I recognize the depth of my sin and the magnitude of the cross. It’s easy to not grumble when things are going well. But when things are hard like long season hard – that’s where you get to exercise your faith. This last week at Bible study we reflected on muscle memory. For me I want my muscles to remember we find rest in Christ, I want my muscles to instinctively speak scripture and words of life in the crevices of our broken world and my difficult circumstances. I want to be strong in the Lord.

I want to recognize that time with Christ is ALWAYS better than “me time”. And here I am in the middle of circumstances that present just the opportunity to work out 🏋️‍♀️ my muscles.

Even when we are not perfect in our pursuit of God, which is always… God is gracious to provide us with times of refreshment to minister to both our physical and spiritual needs.

I skipped some of my time in the Word this week and I could feel and instant change/shift in my heart and in the focus of my mind and thoughts. Jackson got up at 2:30 this morning and there was no indication I would be successful in getting him back to sleep. I grumbled and was frustrated and began to go over the list in my head of reasons why this is just the worst thing to be added to my plate and you know all the things…

Then I stopped and I thought about the great pains Jesus took to prioritize time with the Father.

I repented. Got up and grabbed my Bible. With Jackson in tow.

Just like Jesus did with the loaves and fishes, He is faithful to multiply our efforts so that time spent with Him is never wasted AND often amplifies any efforts that follow.

So I take 20 mins during the work day when my desk and heart feel a mess – to spend time with the ONE who orders my steps and days. And when my sweet boy is struggling to rest I want to show him where true rest comes from.

Let us not replace His peace “that surpasses all understanding” with quick fixes and bandaids that fall off and never satisfy. (Phil. 4:7).

George Muller once said in response to the claim of being too busy to spend time with God, that four hours of work after one hour of prayer would accomplish more than five hours without prayer. George practiced what he preached and spent his entire adult life relying on prayer to communicate his needs to the Lord so clearly that he refused to raise money for his orphanage, trusting instead the promise of Phil. 4:19, “God will supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

Today may my response be to and in all things the reality that says,

In Christ “my cup runneth over”.

““You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.””
‭‭Luke‬ ‭11‬:‭11‬-‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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The Faithful love of Jesus

How it started and how it is going! The faithful Love of Jesus! ❤️

5 years ago this week we plugged in at Coastline Christian Fellowship, wholeheartedly committed.

We had visited on and off through the year prior but we had lingering church hurt from prior churches and to be honest we were wrestling with feeling God’s pull – God’s wooing of our hearts AND wrestling with our flesh…

This little church in Olney became and is our family and for Jackson it is “the place of his people”. Jackson greeted and gave hugs to at least 30 people yesterday and shook 4 hands! 🥹😭😭

Jackson’s first visit to Coastline post being in a car seat
Jackson helping dad and friend vacuum our kids class room.

A very early (miraculously early) autism diagnosis for Jackson was the hurt, the longing, the fear, the “I cannot do this without you God” moment that changed it all for us. We surrendered and we kept showing up until we desired to show up and we hurt when we missed. 6 months later we began serving in the Minnows room and remain in there till this day. Seasons change but the everlasting Love of the Lord remains the same. He sought us and pursued us…

God pursued Adam and Eve after they sinned in the garden of Eden. (Genesis 3)
God pursued Hagar when she ran away from her problems. (Genesis 16)
God pursued Elijah when he ran from Ahab and Jezebel. (1 Kings 18-19)
God pursued Paul on the road to Damascus. (Acts 9)
And God pursues us.

Motivated by unexplainable love, God pursues humanity. No matter our state in life — married, single, dating, living for God or running from Him — God seeks to win the affection of our hearts by relentlessly and faithfully pursuing us.

We see a clear depiction of this pursuit in verses, John 3:16-17: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

The love John refers to in this scripture is agape love, which is sacrificial and considered the highest form of love that exists. This love was costly for God, but He pursued us through the radical act of sacrificing His Son. God’s love is unmatched and far greater than any box of chocolates or bouquet of flowers.

And even more astounding is that God demonstrated His lavish and sacrificial love while we were sinners. He pursued us while we weren’t thinking about Him… Once and for all, God valiantly saved humankind from the spiritual villain Satan when we were in distress.

But God’s pursuit of us did not end with Christ’s sacrificial death and resurrection. For all our days, He will continue to pursue us with His unexplainable love.

If you long to be romanced and pursued, may this be an encouragement: You are the object of God’s affection. He has relentlessly pursued and will continue to pursue you.

God will not keep you from anything that will make you more like Jesus. For us, Jackson’s autism is a tangible tether between the heavenly things and the earthly things…. But it took us “surrendering” this onto the Lord.

What is the thing that may be hurting you that the ONE who made you and loves you is wooing and asking you to surrender to HIM?

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An encouragement for you

This sweet memory popped up for me today out of my Facebook photos, and I can do nothing else but think of all the ways the Lord has been faithful to us these last five years. 🙏 I had no idea what the path ahead would be – but HE did.

Me changing my sweet son just before he turned a year old

“God’s grace to sustain us through painful circumstances is stronger and is mightier and is much better than any deliverance out of those circumstances.”
-Joni Eareckson Tada

🙌 Amen!

God’s grace these last 5 years as I have learned more deeply what it means to be a wife, a mother, and most importantly a disciple of Christ – has been life giving!

God’s grace is greater than any diagnosis, financial difficulty, broken expectation, or hurt. Insert your own hard into this fill in the blank:

God’s grace is greater then my ——————-!

God has great compassion for His children 👇

“but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men.”
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭32‬-‭33‬ ‭ESV‬‬

God allows for us to suffer for a little while so that we will be strengthened and so that our HOPE will rest in Him 👇

“My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭119‬:‭71‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God answers prayer 👇

“Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭119‬:‭50‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Share His hope and testify of His goodness 👇

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭50‬:‭20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Experience the Joy that is ONLY found in God’s presence 👇

“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16‬:‭11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

While everything else will fail you and waste away –
Jesus can be trusted 🙌

REST in HIM!

👉 “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.❤️ My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Friends, be encouraged!

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By His stripes we are healed

”Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”“
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭26‬-‭28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Our worth comes from the ONE in whose image we are made.

I can distinctly remember the moment that I realized God from the beginning created us to subdue our surroundings… and this command extends to our thoughts and experiences.

”The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.“
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I am so thankful for the advocacy of the Holy Spirit, without whom I would have never been able to see that I had elevated the trauma of my life, over the fact and truth that I am an image bearer of God.

Secular therapy, psychology, and pharmacology has thrived off of the idol of trauma.

I choose the word “idol” here because therapeutic intervention says, “work through these experiences and address your trauma in order to be able to ———“. At the onset your trauma and experience is placed at the highest level of priority and thus elevates itself above God, and your relationship with God. It points you back to yourself. How can we be both be our own problem and our own solution?

The Imago Dei tells us from the beginning that we can subdue our environment, scripture further tells us:

  1. Jesus is greater than any experience we will encounter in this world. (”You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.“
    ‭‭1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬ ‭NIV‬‬)
  2. God is close to the brokenhearted and dries up all of our tears. (”The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.“ Psalms‬ ‭34‬:‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭NIV‬‬) (”Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll— are they not in your record?“ Psalms‬ ‭56‬:‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬)
  3. The Lord continually renews us with His spirit everyday. ”because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.“
    ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬, ‭16‬ ‭NIV‬‬)
  4. Jesus heals us and is our place of safety. (”“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.“
    ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2‬:‭24‬-‭25‬ ‭NIV‬)

Friends, if you’re hurting bow down to the only ONE who heals, redeems and restores LIFE! It is only through Jesus that all of the dust and ashes from our past can be made into something new and beautiful.
(”He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.“ Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3‬:‭11‬-‭13‬ ‭NIV‬)

We are seeing “mental health” crises at an all time high. And although I do believe there are certain situations that may need medical or professional intervention, majority of what we are seeing is people being given over to their brokenness, they are hurting and lost. They are grasping at interventions that keep them digging holes while being told they are wells.

Only one fountain can satisfy this type of thirst.

”On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”“
‭‭John‬ ‭7‬:‭37‬-‭38‬ ‭NIV‬‬

And finally when we are grieving, we have these promises:

”“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.“
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭3‬-‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

These verses contain more wisdom than all of the doctors, therapists, and DSMs combined.

When we repent and seek Jesus:
The blood of Jesus will cover your past addictions.
The blood of Jesus will cover your past assaults and abuses.
The blood of Jesus will cover the abortion you had and deeply regret and hurt over.
The blood of Jesus will cover the horrible things your have said to loved ones.
The blood of Jesus will redeem your sexual sin.
The blood of Jesus will redeem your life.
The blood of Jesus will bring reconciliation.

Jesus gets us… but more importantly He changes us.
All of these tears and turmoils pale in comparison to the future glory of those who love the Lord.

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When you feel not enough…

You ever have those moments where the fear of not being good enough creeps in? The fear of not being qualified enough to do the things the Lord has appointed you to do? Maybe it’s just me -but I have struggled with this… sometimes I still do and I need to constantly STOP 🛑 and remind myself:

I am not enough but GOD is…

Moses was also someone who felt he wasn’t good enough. When God spoke through a burning bush and called Moses to lead His people out of Egyptian bondage, he had a big case of the “not-good-enoughs”

That’s when he had a one-sided argument with God. Moses told God he was the wrong man for the job.
He wasn’t brave enough, strong enough, smart enough, eloquent enough, charismatic enough or confident enough.

At one point, Moses asked God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you, and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” And God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you'” (Exodus 3:13-14. NIV).

Moses was 80 years old when he argued with God. But even the weakest knees in the hands of I AM can become a mighty force to be reckoned with.

You can fill in the blank with a number of qualities. False beliefs such as …
I’m not strong enough.
I’m not experienced enough.
I’m not talented enough.
I’m not brave enough.
I’m not pretty enough.

But here’s what we need to remember:

👉🏻Whatever positive characteristic we feel we are not, God is.
👉🏻Whatever we need, God is. He is the God who fills in our gaps; He is I AM who fills in our blanks.
👉🏻When we say, “I’m not strong enough,’ God says, “I AM.”
👉🏻When we say, “I’m not smart enough, God says, “I AM.”
👉🏻When we say, “I’m not good enough, God says, “I AM.”

Once we let go of the lies that we’re not enough .. and take hold of the truth that we’re more than enough because of Jesus’ presence and power in us… then we’ll be set free from paralyzing insecurity and on our way to experiencing courageous confidence to do everything He calls us to do.

Did you know one of my greatest struggles has always been speaking… publicly, small groups, you name it! I would experience debilitating anxiety for days leading up to the event. And yet, the Lord has placed me in roles that require frequent speaking to all sorts of people, often about really hard things.

Many of my greatest weaknesses the Lord has used to do great good and HE has provided everytime! He is Faithful! I stand with Paul, who lamented about his weakness: “But he [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”‘ (2 Corinthians 12:9).

That’s what happens when we allow God to fill in our blanks. He turns what we perceive as our greatest weakness into our greatest strength.

What is God calling you to do today? Where do you feel you’re not enough? Oh friend, because of Jesus finished work on the cross, and His power in you, you are more than enough! He who has called you is faithful! 🙌

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More lessons from my Son

Kind of bittersweet Jackson is now old enough, that his favorite alpaca lovey is breaking down. It’s amazing the comfort this little raggedy, falling apart alpaca gives to him. To some it would be time to put this little stuffie in the trash, but not Jackson. As the last pieces of leather and stuffing fall out he gently picks them up and stuffs back in what he can and discards the pieces he cannot – but to him this is the same lovey that he met as a newborn coming home. His place of safety, familiarity. I pray that Jackson’s care for his alpaca is an indicator of how strong his faith will be. I pray he will grow to be a man to follow after God’s own heart. I pray Jackson’s life and personality will be a testament of God’s glory.

Jackson’s tattered alpaca

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭6‬:‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This morning as I look at this little tattered thing I think of our Savior. I think of Mary seeing her son whipped and beaten beyond recognition. And I think of how dark it must have felt those hours during the crucifixion. I wonder did Mary see her baby boy up there, the child she had given birth to and nursed and raised. Did those watching begin to doubt Jesus being their Savior as they watched Him being broken and poured out? Did those with faith a little stronger still see the strong Rabbi they had come to love and believe to be the Messiah.

“But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands. I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭5‬, ‭7‬, ‭10‬, ‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

And likewise, I think of how God sees us. What we see as the least of us, the broken, the utterly sinful – when God sees us He sees us made in His image. When we come to Christ and accept Him, God sees us through the righteousness of His son. We are made a new creation. We put on our new selves and take off the old.

“throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭22‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What an amazing love.

““For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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