What Do You Pray for the People You Love?

Learning to Pray for Spiritual Growth from Philippians 1:9โ€“11

Perhaps one of the clearest measures of what we truly desire for the people we love is what we repeatedly ask God to do in their lives.

โ€œAnd it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.โ€

โ€” Philippians 1:9โ€“11

What do you pray for the people you love?

If someone listened carefully to your prayers for your husband, your children, your friends, your church, or the believers God has entrusted to your care, what would they discover that you most deeply desire for them?

We pray for safety, healing, provision, restored relationships, open doors, protection for our children, strength for marriages, and relief from suffering.

These are good things to bring before our Father.

But Paulโ€™s prayer in Philippians 1:9โ€“11 confronts us with a deeper question:

Do our prayers reveal that our greatest desire for the people we love is their spiritual maturity and conformity to Jesus Christ?

Paul writes Philippians from imprisonment. He loves these believers deeply. He has invested himself in their lives, labored for their spiritual good, and partnered with them in the advancement of the gospel.

Immediately before recording his prayer, Paul writes:

โ€œFor God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.โ€

โ€” Philippians 1:8

Then Paul allows us to hear what a heart filled with the affection of Christ asks God to do in the lives of others.

He does not begin by praying that the Philippians would escape suffering or experience easier circumstances.

Paul prays for their spiritual growth.

He asks God to increase their love, deepen their knowledge, sharpen their discernment, teach them to recognize what is excellent, make them sincere and blameless, fill their lives with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ, and keep them faithful until the day of Christ.

And all of it moves toward one ultimate purpose:

the glory and praise of God.

This prison prayer gives us more than a glimpse into Paulโ€™s pastoral heart.

It teaches us how to pray for the people we love.

1. A Love That Never Stops Growing

Paul begins:

โ€œAnd it is my prayer that your love may abound more and moreโ€ฆโ€

The Greek word translated abound is perisseuล (ฯ€ฮตฯฮนฯƒฯƒฮตฯฯ‰).

It carries the idea of increasing, overflowing, exceeding, or becoming abundant.

Paul is not writing to Christians who have no love. The Philippians have already demonstrated their affection for Paul and their partnership in the gospel.

Yet Paul prays for more.

There is no point in the Christian life when we graduate from the command to love. Spiritual maturity does not mean that we eventually become loving enough.

The more deeply we know Christ, the greater our capacity should become to love the people He has placed around us.

Paul does not explicitly state the object of the Philippiansโ€™ love in verse 9. The Greek text simply says:

แผก แผ€ฮณฮฌฯ€ฮท แฝ‘ฮผแฟถฮฝ โ€” โ€œyour love.โ€

Within Paulโ€™s letters, love for fellow believers frequently occupies a prominent place, especially in the opening sections of his letters. Paul commends the saints for their love in Ephesians 1:15, Colossians 1:4, 1 Thessalonians 1:3, and 2 Thessalonians 1:3.

Given Paulโ€™s repeated emphasis upon the love believers should have for one another, and the relational concerns that later emerge in Philippians, love for fellow Christians is certainly included and may be especially prominent here.

But Paulโ€™s prayer reaches even deeper.

He desires a growing Christian loveโ€”love rooted in God, shaped by truth, and expressed wisely toward others.

When Jesus identifies the greatest commandments, He first commands us to love God with our entire being and then to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Love for God and love for others belong together.

We need love that abounds still more and more.

But Paul does not pray merely for more love.

He prays for a particular kind of love.

2. A Love Governed by Truth

Paul continues:

โ€œโ€ฆwith knowledge and all discernment.โ€

The word translated knowledge is epignลsis (แผฯ€ฮฏฮณฮฝฯ‰ฯƒฮนฯ‚).

It carries the idea of genuine, deep, or full knowledge.

The Reformer John Calvin explained Paulโ€™s meaning:

โ€œPaul means that it is full and complete, not a knowledge of all things.โ€

Paul is not praying that the Philippians would simply accumulate more information or become intellectually impressive.

He desires a deepening knowledge that shapes how they live and love.

The word translated discernment is aisthฤ“sis (ฮฑแผดฯƒฮธฮทฯƒฮนฯ‚).

It refers to moral perception, insight, or the capacity to recognize what is appropriate in a particular situation.

Paul is praying for love with eyes.

Love that sees.

Love that understands.

Love that perceives.

Love that knows how to respond wisely to real people in real situations.

Biblical love is not blind sentimentality.

It is not merely being nice.

It is not avoiding difficult conversations, affirming every decision someone makes, or doing whatever makes us feel loving.

Paul is not praying that the Philippians would become smarter, but wiser in their care for one another.

Genuine love requires spiritual wisdom.

We need discernment to know when to speak and when to remain silent. When to confront and when to comfort. When to intervene and when to wait. When to give generously and when helping in the wrong way might enable destructive patterns.

Without knowledge and discernment, sincere attempts to love can become misguided.

We may offer tenderness without truth.

Or truth without tenderness.

We may give someone what they want when faithfulness requires giving them what they need.

We may avoid necessary conversations because we have confused kindness with silence.

Paul prays for something better.

Love governed by truth and guided by discernment.

Biblical love requires more than good intentions.

We need wisdom from God.

3. A Love That Chooses What Is Excellent

Paul explains the purpose of knowledge and discernment:

โ€œโ€ฆso that you may approve what is excellentโ€ฆโ€

The word translated approve is dokimazล (ฮดฮฟฮบฮนฮผฮฌฮถฯ‰).

It means to test, examine, scrutinize, and determine whether something meets the necessary standard.

Paul prays that the Philippians would develop the spiritual ability to examine the choices before them and recognize what is truly excellent.

Steven Lawson observes that some of the most difficult choices Christians face are not between what is obviously good and evil, but between what is good, better, and best.

That is where discernment becomes necessary.

We have limited time.

Limited energy.

Limited resources.

We cannot meet every need, accept every invitation, pursue every opportunity, intervene in every situation, or say yes to every good thing.

Mature Christian love asks:

What is most excellent here?

What will genuinely serve this personโ€™s spiritual good?

What does faithfulness require in this particular situation?

What will matter most in light of eternity?

What must I say no to so that I can say yes to what God has actually entrusted to me?

Paul does not want the Philippians to stumble through relationships guided only by emotion, pressure, guilt, or the expectations of others.

He prays that their growing love, governed by knowledge and discernment, will enable them to recognize and pursue what is excellent.

We should pray the same for our churches, our spouses, our friends, those we disciple, and our children.

Lord, teach them to recognize what matters most.

4. A Love That Produces Integrity

Paul continues:

โ€œโ€ฆand so be pure and blameless for the day of Christโ€ฆโ€

The word translated pure or sincere is eilikrinฤ“s (ฮตแผฐฮปฮนฮบฯฮนฮฝฮฎฯ‚).

It communicates genuineness, sincerity, purity of motive, and integrity.

Paul is praying for believers whose lives can withstand examination.

Christians without divided loyalties.

Without religious performance.

Without carefully constructed appearances that conceal contradictory lives.

There must not be an inconsistency between what we confess to believe and how we live.

Our theology and conduct belong together.

Our public Christianity and private character belong together.

Our doctrine and love belong together.

Every area of life should increasingly become part of one integrated whole under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

That is integrity.

Paul also prays that the Philippians would be blameless.

The Greek word is aproskopos (แผ€ฯ€ฯฯŒฯƒฮบฮฟฯ€ฮฟฯ‚).

It carries the idea of being without offense or not causing stumbling.

Paul wants their lives to be marked by such integrity that their conduct does not become an unnecessary obstacle in the spiritual lives of others.

It matters to God how we live.

Forgiveness of sin does not give us freedom to continue carelessly in sin.

The grace that pardons us is the same grace that purifies us.

Our hypocrisy can wound.

Our careless words can discourage.

Our uncontrolled anger can harm.

Our dishonesty can destroy trust.

Our selfishness can place obstacles in the spiritual lives of those around us.

Christian love therefore requires personal holiness.

Paul prays that this integrity would characterize the Philippians:

โ€œโ€ฆfor the day of Christ.โ€

His prayer stretches all the way to eternity.

There is always more patience to learn, more kindness to practice, more forgiveness to extend, more selfishness to put to death, more wisdom to gain, and more Christlikeness to pursue.

The whole Christian life is lived in preparation for that great day.

When Christ returns, may He find us loving one another.

5. A Love That Bears Fruit Through Christ

Paul continues:

โ€œโ€ฆfilled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christโ€ฆโ€

The Christian life produces fruit.

But notice carefully where the fruit comes from.

Through Jesus Christ.

Paul is not praying for self-generated moral improvement.

He is not asking the Philippians to become better people through greater willpower.

The righteousness visible in their lives is produced through their relationship with Jesus Christ.

This connects beautifully with the opening words of Philippians and with the foundation we established in the first blog of this series.

Paul has already addressed these believers as:

โ€œsaints in Christ Jesus.โ€

They belong to Christ.

They are in Christ.

They receive grace and peace from Christ.

And now Paul prays that the life of Christ would increasingly bear visible fruit through them.

The spiritual fruit of righteousness begins to grow when God makes a sinner alive in Christ.

We do not love others in order to make ourselves Christians.

We love because God has made us alive in Christ.

We do not produce spiritual fruit in order to earn acceptance from God.

Spiritual fruit grows because we have been united to Jesus Christ.

The first fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22 is love.

Rebirth is the root.

Love is the fruit.

The Christian life is not the decoration of a dead tree.

It is the fruitfulness of a living one.

And the source of that life is Jesus Christ.

This should deeply shape how we pray.

When we pray for spiritual growth in the people we love, we are not merely asking them to try harder.

We are asking God to produce through Christ what human effort cannot manufacture.

Lord, bear the fruit of Christ in them.

6. A Love That Ends in the Glory of God

Paul reaches the destination of his prayer:

โ€œโ€ฆto the glory and praise of God.โ€

Paul begins with love.

But he ends with glory.

The glory of God.

Choosing what is excellent.

Sincerity and blamelessness.

Perseverance until the day of Christ.

The fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ.

And ultimately:

The glory and praise of God.

Christian love is not ultimately about making us appear compassionate.

Spiritual maturity is not about producing impressive Christians.

The fruit of righteousness is not intended to build our reputation.

Everything terminates in the glory of God.

Paul writes:

โ€œSo, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.โ€

โ€” 1 Corinthians 10:31

The Puritan Thomas Brooks wrote:

โ€œThe aim of the obedient soul, in prayer, and praises, and talking, and walking, in giving, and receiving, in living, and doing, is divine glory.โ€

Godโ€™s glory must become the master passion of the Christian life.

The way we pray.

The way we speak.

The way we love.

The way we forgive.

The way we serve.

The way we parent.

The way we suffer.

The way we work.

All of life should increasingly be directed toward one great end:

the glory and praise of God.

What Do Your Prayers Reveal About What You Want Most?

Paulโ€™s prayer forces us to examine our own.

What do we most deeply desire for the people we love?

Do I merely want my children to be safe, successful, healthy, well-behaved, and happy?

Do I want my husband to change primarily because his change would make my life easier?

Do I pray more frequently for the physical health of the people I love than for their holiness?

Do I pray for my church to grow numerically without praying with equal intensity that we would grow in love, discernment, integrity, and righteousness?

If someone listened to our prayers, would they know that our greatest desire for the people we love is that Christ would be formed in them?

Paul teaches us to pray beyond circumstances.

That does not mean we stop praying for healing, safety, provision, protection, reconciliation, or relief from suffering.

Our Father invites us to bring every burden to Him.

But our prayers should reach further.

Lord, whatever You do with their circumstances, make them more like Christ.

Increase their love.

Deepen their knowledge.

Sharpen their discernment.

Teach them to recognize what is excellent.

Make their lives sincere and blameless.

Fill them with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ.

Keep them faithful until the day of Christ.

And through their lives, receive glory and praise.

Perhaps one of the greatest ways we can love another person is to pray for what God desires to produce in them.

Behold Christ

Paulโ€™s prayer does not leave us staring at ourselves.

It leads us to Jesus Christ.

The love Paul desires is formed in those who know Christ.

The discernment Paul requests is wisdom God must give.

The righteousness Paul desires comes through Jesus Christ.

The perseverance Paul anticipates continues until the day of Christ.

And the glory produced through transformed lives ultimately belongs to God.

Christ is not standing at the edge of this prayer waiting for us to become better people.

He is at the center of it.

He is the source of the righteousness Paul desires.

He is the One whose life increasingly becomes visible in His people.

He is the One toward whose return the Christian life is moving.

We cannot manufacture this kind of love.

We must receive from Christ what we need in order to give ourselves faithfully to others.

So when we pray for the people we love, we are asking God for something only He can do:

Make them like Jesus.

And through their lives, glorify Your name.

Examine Your Heart

What do my prayers reveal that I most deeply desire for the people I love?

Do I pray more frequently for changed circumstances than for transformed character?

Is my love governed by biblical truth and spiritual discernment, or primarily by emotion, fear, guilt, pressure, or the desire for approval?

Is there consistency between what I confess to believe and how I live?

Am I trying to produce spiritual fruit through human effort rather than depending upon Jesus Christ?

Is the glory of God truly the highest aim of my prayers and my life?

Respond

Choose one person God has placed upon your heart.

Your spouse.

Your child.

A friend.

A church member.

Someone you disciple.

Someone who is suffering.

Someone with whom your relationship is difficult.

For the next week, pray Philippians 1:9โ€“11 specifically for that person.

Ask God to increase their love, deepen their knowledge, sharpen their discernment, teach them to recognize what is excellent,

Pray

Father, teach me to pray for the people I love according to Your priorities and not merely my preferences.

Let our love abound more and more with knowledge and all discernment. Give us wisdom to recognize the real needs of the people You have placed in our lives and teach us to love them faithfully.

Help us recognize what is excellent and give us courage to choose what is best rather than simply what is easiest, most comfortable, or most approved by others.

Make our lives sincere and blameless. Bring every hidden inconsistency under the lordship of Jesus Christ, and keep our lives from becoming stumbling blocks to others.

Fill us with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ. Produce in us what we cannot manufacture ourselves. Keep us faithful until the day of Christ.

And above every other desire, teach us to live for Your glory.

Make us more like Jesus.

And through our lives, glorify Your name.

Amen.

Behold Him, Not Me: Part Seven

When Israel Became Sodom

Judges 19

Content note: This study discusses sexual violence, physical abuse, and trauma in the context of Judges 19 and includes a personal testimony of surviving abuse.

There are chapters of Scripture that comfort us.

There are chapters that encourage us.

There are chapters that strengthen our hope, remind us of Godโ€™s faithfulness, and give us words to pray when our own words fail.

Judges 19 is not one of those chapters.

Judges 19 is meant to horrify us.

There is no deliverer.

There is no victory.

There is no miraculous rescue.

There is no repentance.

There is only a Levite, his concubine, an old man, a violent mob, a night of unspeakable abuse, the death of an unnamed woman, and a nation about to tear itself apart.

Judges 19 is one of the darkest chapters in all of Scripture.

And we should not rush through the darkness.

We should not soften the violence.

We should not turn the suffering of this woman into a convenient illustration.

We should not search so quickly for an encouraging application that we fail to sit beneath the weight of what the text is showing us.

Because Judges 19 is here for a reason.

The book of Judges has been showing us what happens when the people of God reject the rule of God.

Again and again, Israel has done what is right in their own eyes.

They have compromised.

They have worshiped idols.

They have reshaped God according to their preferences.

They have pursued comfort.

They have sought blessing without obedience.

They have built religions they could control.

And now, at the end of the book, we are shown where that road leads.

Israel has become indistinguishable from the nations around them.

Worse still, Israel has become like Sodom.

Before We Read

Before going any further, we need to acknowledge what this chapter contains.

Judges 19 describes sexual violence, abuse, dehumanization, and death.

The Bible records these events.

It does not approve of them.

Scripture is painfully honest about the evil human beings are capable of committing. The Bible does not hide the consequences of sin. It does not sanitize human depravity. It does not pretend that rebellion against God remains private, harmless, or contained.

Sin spreads.

Sin corrupts.

Sin dehumanizes.

And when people persistently reject the authority of God, other human beings bear the consequences.

The unnamed woman at the center of Judges 19 is not merely a literary device.

She is a human being made in the image of God.

She is sinned against.

She is abandoned.

She is violated.

She dies.

And the men surrounding her repeatedly treat her as though her life exists for their convenience.

We should allow the horror of that reality to trouble us.

The text intends for us to be troubled.

In Those Days There Was No King

Judges 19 begins with words we have heard before:

โ€œIn those days, when there was no king in Israelโ€ฆโ€

This statement has become the theological backdrop of the final chapters of Judges.

Israelโ€™s problem is not merely political.

Their deepest problem is spiritual.

There is no human king, but more importantly, Israel is living as though there is no divine King.

God has spoken.

God has given His law.

God has established His covenant.

God has told His people how to worship, how to pursue justice, how to treat the vulnerable, how to order their families, and how to live together as His holy people.

Yet everyone continues doing what is right in his own eyes.

Judges 19 shows us what happens when subjective morality reaches its logical conclusion.

When everyone becomes his own authority, the strong eventually decide what happens to the weak.

When personal desire becomes the highest standard, other people become objects to be used.

When Godโ€™s authority is rejected, human dignity does not increase.

It collapses.

A Levite Who Should Have Known Better

Once again, a Levite stands near the center of the story.

That should trouble us.

The Levites had been set apart for service connected to the worship of God.

If anyone should have known the Word of God, it was a Levite.

If anyone should have understood covenant faithfulness, justice, holiness, and the value of belonging to God, it was a Levite.

Yet the Levite in Judges 19 is not presented as a faithful spiritual leader.

He is part of the problem.

The chapter begins by introducing his concubine, who leaves him and returns to her fatherโ€™s house in Bethlehem.

After four months, the Levite travels to persuade her to return.

Her father welcomes him enthusiastically.

For several days, the men eat, drink, and delay the journey.

Eventually, the Levite insists on leaving.

The decision is made late in the day.

As darkness approaches, the servant suggests that they stop in Jebus, the city that would later become Jerusalem.

But the Levite refuses.

Jebus is inhabited by foreigners.

He does not want to spend the night among people who are not Israelites.

Instead, he chooses to continue to Gibeah.

Surely they will be safer among the people of God.

They are not.

When Israel Became Sodom

The travelers arrive in Gibeah, a city belonging to the tribe of Benjamin.

They sit in the town square.

No one welcomes them.

Eventually, an old man returning from his work in the fields sees them and offers hospitality.

Then the story begins to sound disturbingly familiar.

The men of the city surround the house.

They demand that the Levite be brought outside so that they can sexually assault him.

The deliberate connection to Genesis 19 is difficult to miss.

In Genesis, the men of Sodom surround Lotโ€™s house.

In Judges, the men of Gibeah surround the old manโ€™s house.

In Genesis, the mob demands the male visitors.

In Judges, the mob demands the Levite.

The language is similar.

The circumstances are similar.

The depravity is similar.

But there is one devastating difference.

Gibeah is not a Canaanite city.

Gibeah belongs to Israel.

God had called Israel to be holy.

God had separated them from the nations.

God had given them His Word.

God had placed His name among them.

God had called them to display His character to the world.

But now the people who were supposed to be different have become indistinguishable from the people they were commanded not to imitate.

Israel has become Sodom.

This may be one of the most terrifying warnings in the entire book of Judges.

The people of God can live among the things of God, possess the Word of God, use the name of God, and still become increasingly unlike God.

Spiritual privilege does not make anyone immune to spiritual decay.

A people who repeatedly refuse to listen to God can eventually become unrecognizable as His people.

The Failure of Every Man in the Story

There are no heroes in Judges 19.

The men of Gibeah are wicked.

But they are not the only men who fail.

The old man offers the women of the household to the mob.

The Levite sends his concubine outside.

The men abuse her throughout the night.

In the morning, she collapses at the doorway of the house.

And when the Levite opens the door, he says:

โ€œGet up, let us be going.โ€

There is no recorded grief.

No tenderness.

No attempt to help her.

No acknowledgment of what she has suffered.

When she does not respond, he places her body on his donkey and returns home.

The woman at the center of the story is repeatedly acted upon.

Men decide where she will go.

Men decide what will happen to her.

Men sacrifice her safety to protect themselves.

Men violate her.

Men speak over her.

Men use her death for their own purposes.

She is never given a voice.

And that silence is part of the horror.

The further Israel moves from the rule of God, the more vulnerable people suffer.

Throughout Scripture, the treatment of the vulnerable is repeatedly connected to the spiritual condition of Godโ€™s people.

When people love God, they are commanded to love their neighbor.

When people fear God, they are forbidden from using power merely for their own advantage.

When people reject Godโ€™s authority, power becomes something to seize, protect, and use.

Judges 19 shows us a society in which nearly everyone is protecting himself.

And the person with the least power pays the highest price.

The Banality of Evil

One of the most disturbing things about the final chapters of Judges is how ordinary everyone seems.

These are not monsters from another world.

They travel.

They eat meals.

They extend hospitality.

They have families.

They speak about God.

They belong to tribes.

They participate in religious life.

And yet beneath the ordinary surface lies profound moral corruption.

Evil does not always announce itself dramatically.

Sometimes it grows quietly.

Compromise after compromise.

Excuse after excuse.

Desire after desire.

People gradually become accustomed to what once would have horrified them.

Sin becomes normal.

Consciences become dull.

People learn to live with contradictions.

They speak the language of faith while living according to their own desires.

The final chapters of Judges show us what happens when rebellion becomes ordinary.

The people do not merely commit isolated acts of sin.

They inhabit an entire moral world in which everyone is doing what is right in his own eyes.

The Woman at the Door

There is an image near the end of the chapter that is difficult to forget.

Morning comes.

The door opens.

And the woman is lying at the threshold with her hands on the doorway.

She had almost reached shelter.

But the door remained closed.

There are times when careful Bible study requires us to resist the urge to turn every detail into a metaphor.

This woman does not need to become a symbol before we are willing to grieve what happened to her.

She was a person made in the image of God.

And she was treated as disposable.

The text does not give us her name.

But God saw her.

The men in this chapter use her.

Ignore her.

Abandon her.

Violate her.

Dismember her.

But the God who inspired Scripture does not allow Israel to forget her.

Her suffering becomes part of the testimony against a nation that has rejected its King.

Her presence in Scripture reminds us that God does not look away from the suffering human beings would prefer to ignore.

The Bible bears witness to victims whom powerful people would rather leave unnamed.

The God Who Saw Me Too

There is a reason I cannot read Judges 19 from a safe distance.

I know what it is like to be sexually abused.

For a long period of my life, I was sexually abused by my father. I was also sexually and physically abused by other men.

I know something of the deep wounds these kinds of sins leave behind.

I know what it is like to carry questions you do not know how to ask.

Does God see me?

Does He care about what happened?

Will there ever be justice?

Am I still worthy of being loved?

For many years, I did not know how to bring those questions to God. I did not know how to process what had happened to me within my theology.

Then I began learning to slow down when I read Scripture.

I stopped rushing past difficult passages.

I stopped assuming that the darkest stories in the Bible were obstacles to faith that needed to be explained away as quickly as possible.

And I began to see something I had missed.

God does not hide what evil does to people.

He does not call evil good.

He does not ask us to pretend that suffering does not matter.

He does not look away from the people others would prefer to forget.

Judges 19 does not allow us to forget this woman.

The text does not give us her name, but God preserved the testimony of what was done to her.

Her suffering is not hidden.

The evil committed against her is not erased.

Generation after generation has been forced to reckon with what happened in Gibeah because God allowed her story to remain in His Word.

And as I learned to see her, I began to understand more deeply that God saw me too.

I thought about Hagar.

She was a woman caught within the sinful decisions and abuses of power of other people.

She fled into the wilderness.

And there, the angel of the LORD found her.

He called her by name.

โ€œHagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?โ€

โ€” Genesis 16:8

Hagar responded by giving God a name:

โ€œYou are a God of seeing.โ€

She said:

โ€œTruly here I have seen Him who looks after me.โ€

โ€” Genesis 16:13

Later, Hagar would find herself in the wilderness again, believing she was about to watch her son die.

She wept.

God heard.

And the angel of God called to her from heaven.

These passages began changing the way I understood God.

The God of Scripture is not the author of evil.

He is good.

He is just.

He sees.

He hears.

He knows.

And because He is faithful, He will keep every promise He has made.

That means evil will not be ignored forever.

Those who have harmed others will answer to Godโ€™s perfect justice.

Some of us may see justice in this life.

Some of us may not.

Human courts may fail.

People may refuse to believe us.

Those who committed evil may never acknowledge what they have done.

But there is no hidden thing that will remain hidden before the judgment of God.

The Judge of all the earth will do what is just.

For me, that truth did not make forgiveness unnecessary.

It made forgiveness possible.

I began to understand that forgiveness does not require me to call evil good.

It does not require me to pretend that justice does not matter.

It does not require me to deny what happened.

I can entrust final judgment to the God who sees perfectly, knows completely, and judges righteously.

And I can bring my wounds to Jesus.

The One who sees Hagar in the wilderness is the same God who came near to us in Christ.

Jesus saw women others ignored.

He welcomed people others rejected.

He touched those others considered unclean.

He drew near to the suffering.

He was betrayed.

He was stripped.

He was mocked.

He was beaten.

He was crucified.

And He willingly bore the judgment for sin so that sinners could be reconciled to God.

The cross taught me that God does not minimize evil.

Sin is so serious that the Son of God gave His life to save sinners from it.

And the resurrection taught me that evil, suffering, and death will not have the final word.

Slowly, the Old Testament and the New Testament began coming together for me.

The God who saw Hagar is the God who saw me.

The God who refused to let Israel forget the unnamed woman of Judges 19 had not forgotten me.

The righteous Judge before whom every evil will one day be exposed is also the Father who received me through His Son.

I began to understand that Jesus loved me deeply.

I began to receive the love of God instead of believing that what had been done to me determined my worth.

I began to seek forgiveness for my own sins.

I began learning to forgive others.

And I began trusting God with the justice I could not accomplish for myself.

These passages did not destroy my faith.

They deepened it.

They taught me that I do not need a Bible that looks away from evil.

I need a God who sees it more clearly than I ever could.

I do not need a God who offers shallow explanations for suffering.

I need the God who enters our suffering, judges with perfect justice, saves sinners through the blood of His Son, and promises that one day He will make all things new.

If you have experienced sexual violence, physical abuse, or other deep wounds, or if you love someone who has, I want you to know why I am willing to remain in difficult passages like Judges 19.

It is because I have found that slowing down in these passages has helped me know God more deeply.

You do not have to pretend that evil is less evil in order to trust Him.

You do not have to silence your grief.

You do not have to be afraid of your questions.

Bring them into the light of Scripture.

Learn the character of the God who sees.

Learn the justice of the God who will judge rightly.

Learn the mercy of the Savior who receives sinners.

Learn the love of the Father who gave His Son so that all who trust in Him might be reconciled to God.

My prayer is not merely that you will make it through the difficult chapters of the Bible with your faith intact.

My prayer is that, as you slow down and see the God who has revealed Himself there, your faith will deepen too.

The God who saw Hagar sees.

The God who preserved the testimony of the unnamed woman remembers.

The God who gave His Son saves.

And the King who is coming will judge the world in righteousness.

Come and see the God who sees.

Where Is God?

One of the unsettling realities of Judges 19 is the apparent silence of God.

There is no divine speech.

No angel appears.

No miracle interrupts the violence.

No deliverer arrives.

Where is God?

The answer is not that God has disappeared.

The entire book has shown us a people repeatedly refusing to listen to Him.

God has spoken.

Israel possesses His covenant.

Israel has His law.

Israel knows His commands.

The tragedy is not that God failed to reveal what righteousness looks like.

The tragedy is that Israel has rejected what God has revealed.

We must also be careful not to confuse Godโ€™s silence in the narrative with Godโ€™s indifference to suffering.

The chapter itself stands as testimony against Israel.

God has preserved the record of what happened.

The evil in Gibeah is not hidden from Him.

The suffering of the woman is not forgotten.

Judges 19 shows us what life looks like when human beings insist upon doing what is right in their own eyes.

And it leaves us longing for judgment, rescue, and a righteous King.

Outrage Is Not Repentance

The Levite takes the womanโ€™s body and divides it into twelve pieces.

He sends the pieces throughout the territory of Israel.

The act is horrifying.

The response is immediate.

The people of Israel say:

โ€œSuch a thing has never happened or been seen from the day that the people of Israel came up out of the land of Egypt until this day; consider it, take counsel, and speak.โ€

Israel is finally shocked.

After years of idolatry.

After generations of compromise.

After repeated rejection of Godโ€™s covenant.

After everyone has done what is right in his own eyes.

Israel has finally found a sin terrible enough to produce national outrage.

But outrage is not the same thing as repentance.

It is possible to be horrified by the sins of others while remaining blind to the sin within ourselves.

It is possible to correctly identify evil and still respond to evil in ways that reveal our own estrangement from God.

That is where Judges 20 will take us.

The nation will gather.

The people will demand justice.

A civil war will begin.

Thousands will die.

And the people who are outraged by Gibeah will continue demonstrating that the deepest problem in Israel cannot be contained within one city.

The problem is everywhere.

The Road to Gibeah Was Longer Than One Night

Israel did not become Sodom overnight.

The violence of Judges 19 is the fruit of seeds planted throughout the entire book.

Israel compromised with the Canaanites.

Israel tolerated idolatry.

Israel abandoned covenant faithfulness.

Israel repeatedly cried out to God when suffering became unbearable, only to return to rebellion when relief arrived.

Israel treated God as a means of obtaining blessing rather than as their King.

By Judges 17, Micah has created his own religion.

By Judges 18, the tribe of Dan has established institutionalized idolatry.

By Judges 19, Israel has become Sodom.

This is the trajectory of sin.

Sin rarely tells us where it intends to take us.

It asks only for the next compromise.

The next excuse.

The next small act of disobedience.

The next moment when we decide that what seems right in our own eyes matters more than what God has said.

Judges 19 forces us to see the destination.

We Need a Righteous King

The book of Judges has shown us judge after judge.

Some were faithful.

Some were deeply flawed.

Some delivered Israel from external enemies while remaining unable to change the hearts of Godโ€™s people.

But now there is no judge.

There is no deliverer.

There is no faithful leader standing between the vulnerable and those who would destroy them.

The repeated refrain tells us what Israel lacks:

โ€œIn those days there was no king in Israel.โ€

But Israel does not merely need someone wearing a crown.

Israel needs a righteous King.

A King who will not exploit the weak.

A King who will not sacrifice others to save Himself.

A King who knows the Word of God and obeys it perfectly.

A King who sees the forgotten.

A King who defends the vulnerable.

A King who judges evil without becoming evil.

A King who can deal not only with the enemies surrounding Godโ€™s people, but with the sin dwelling within them.

Judges leaves us longing for such a King.

The gospel tells us His name.

The King Who Gave Himself

The men in Judges 19 preserve themselves by giving up someone else.

Jesus does the opposite.

Christ does not sacrifice the vulnerable to save Himself.

He gives Himself to save sinners.

The Good Shepherd does not abandon the sheep when the wolves come.

He lays down His life for the sheep.

Jesus does not use His power to protect Himself from suffering.

He willingly enters suffering.

He is betrayed.

He is mocked.

He is beaten.

He is condemned.

He is crucified.

Not because humanity is innocent.

But because humanity is guilty.

At the cross, we see both the horror of human sin and the holiness of God.

The cross does not minimize evil.

It reveals how serious sin truly is.

The righteous King bears judgment in the place of His people.

Judges 19 shows us human beings sacrificing others to save themselves.

The gospel shows us the Son of God giving Himself to save sinners.

Jesus Christ is the King Israel needed.

And He is the King we need.

The King Who Sees

Judges 19 reminds us that human beings can overlook suffering.

Communities can normalize injustice.

Religious people can become indifferent.

Powerful people can protect themselves.

Victims can remain unnamed.

But God sees.

God hears.

God knows.

And God will judge rightly.

The gospel does not ask us to pretend evil is less terrible than it is.

The gospel tells us that evil will not have the final word.

Jesus Christ was crucified.

Jesus Christ was buried.

Jesus Christ rose from the dead.

Jesus Christ reigns.

And one day the King who sees every injustice will judge the world in righteousness.

Every hidden thing will be brought into the light.

Every wrong will be answered according to perfect justice.

For those who belong to Christ, the promise of His kingdom means that suffering, violence, injustice, and death will not endure forever.

The King is coming.

Behold Him, Not Me

Judges 19 is difficult to read because it shows us what human beings become when we reject the rule of God.

Israel was called to be holy.

Israel was called to be different.

Israel was called to display the character of God among the nations.

Instead, Israel became Sodom.

The warning should humble us.

We should never assume that religious language, biblical knowledge, church attendance, ministry involvement, or spiritual heritage makes us immune to compromise.

We need more than outrage over the sins of the world.

We need more than moral reform.

We need more than better circumstances.

We need new hearts.

We need forgiveness.

We need righteousness we cannot produce for ourselves.

We need a King.

Judges leaves us searching for Him.

The rest of Scripture tells us His name.

Jesus Christ.

The righteous King.

The faithful Shepherd.

The One who sees the forgotten.

The One who judges with perfect justice.

The One who gave Himself to save sinners.

When everyone does what is right in his own eyes, look to the King.

When the world becomes accustomed to evil, look to the King.

When religious people fail, look to the King.

When human justice proves insufficient, look to the King.

When the darkness seems unbearable, look to the King.

Behold Him.


Heart Check

Am I more skilled at identifying the sins of others than examining the compromises within my own heart?

Have I become comfortable with things that Scripture calls evil?

Are there areas of my life where personal preference has become more authoritative than the Word of God?

Do I assume that being surrounded by Christian things is the same as faithfully following Christ?

How do I respond when obedience to Jesus requires me to protect, serve, or speak for people who have less power than I do?

Do I merely feel outrage over evil, or does the reality of sin lead me toward repentance, prayer, obedience, and trust in Christ?

Where am I tempted to protect myself at the expense of others?

Do I truly believe that Jesus is the righteous King I needโ€”not only to judge the evil around me, but to save me from the sin within me?


Prayer

Father,

Judges 19 is difficult to read.

The violence is horrifying. The suffering is real. The depth of human sin is difficult to comprehend.

Yet Your Word refuses to hide what happens when people reject Your rule and do what is right in their own eyes.

Search my heart.

Show me where I have become comfortable with compromise.

Show me where I am quicker to condemn the sins of others than to repent of my own.

Guard me from a faith that knows Your Word but refuses to submit to it.

Teach me to see people as those made in Your image.

Give me courage to protect the vulnerable, speak truth, pursue justice, and refuse to make peace with evil.

For those reading who carry wounds caused by the evil of others, draw near to them.

Help them know that You see.

Help them know that You hear.

Help them know that evil is not hidden from You and that Your justice will not fail.

Lead them to the Savior who receives sinners, binds up the brokenhearted, and will one day make all things new.

And when the darkness of human sin feels overwhelming, turn our eyes toward Christ.

Thank You for giving us the King we could never produce for ourselves.

Thank You that Jesus did not sacrifice others to save Himself, but willingly gave Himself to save sinners.

Thank You that He sees the forgotten, receives the repentant, judges rightly, and reigns forever.

Teach us to trust Him.

Teach us to follow Him.

Teach us to behold Him.

Not us.

In Jesusโ€™ name,

Amen.

Sea Creatures, Small Victories & the Kindness of God

Finding joy in the creatures God made, celebrating progress that doesnโ€™t always look big, and learning to recognize His kindness in the middle of ordinary family life.

There are some family trips where you come home rested.

This was not one of those trips. ๐Ÿ˜‚

This past weekend, our family headed down to Newport for two full days at the Oregon Coast Aquarium. By the time we came home, our feet hurt, our bodies were tired, and according to how my legs felt, we had walked approximately 100,000 steps.

Okay, maybe that number is slightly dramatic.

But my feet would like it entered into the official record anyway.

And if you know Jackson, you already know exactly why we went:

Sea creatures. Allllll the sea creatures.

Sharks. Rays. Fish. Tide pools. Anything swimming, crawling, floating, or lurking beneath the surfaceโ€”Jackson wants to see it, learn about it, and probably tell you something about it that you didnโ€™t know.

Seeing It Through His Eyes

One of my favorite things about being Jacksonโ€™s mom is getting to experience the world through the lens of whatever has captured his attention.

And sea creatures have certainly captured his… for the last 7 years.

There is something special about watching your child stand completely captivated by an animal God createdโ€”studying how it moves, noticing tiny details the rest of us might walk right past, and wanting to soak in every bit of it.

As we walked through the aquarium, I found myself thinking about just how wildly creative our God is.

The strange ones.

The beautiful ones.

The tiny ones we almost miss.

And the ones with enough teeth that we are perfectly content admiring them through very thick glass. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Every single one displays something of the creativity, wisdom, and imagination of its Creator.

โ€œO LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.โ€ โ€” Psalm 104:24

What a gift that God did not simply create a functional world.

He created one overflowing with wonder.

And what a gift to experience some of that wonder through the eyes of our son.

But This Trip, We Noticed Something Else: Growth

We visited the aquarium last fall, so Zac and I had a pretty recent trip to compare this one to.

And this time, we could see it.

Jackson has grown.

Not just physicallyโ€”although somehow these children insist on doing that no matter how many times we tell them to stop.

We saw growth in things that might seem incredibly ordinary to another family but felt huge to ours.

Jackson ate really well throughout the entire trip.

He was able to sit down and take breaks.

He handled two very full days of walking, stimulation, excitement, transitions, and activity in ways he simply could not have before.

Were there still meltdowns?

Yep.

Were there still struggles?

Absolutely.

Did all three of us have moments when we were tired, overstimulated, frustrated, or just plain done?

Oh yes.

This wasnโ€™t one of those magical family vacations where everyone smiled peacefully at one another for 48 consecutive hours while inspirational music played softly in the background.

We are still us. ๐Ÿ˜‚

There were hard moments tucked between the smiles in these pictures.

But this weekend reminded me of something I donโ€™t want to forget:

The presence of struggle does not mean there hasnโ€™t been progress.

Sometimes growth doesnโ€™t mean the hard things disappear.

Sometimes growth means something that was impossible six months ago is now possible for ten minutes.

Then twenty.

Sometimes it looks like sitting down long enough to eat a good meal.

Sometimes itโ€™s being able to take a break in the middle of an exciting day.

Sometimes itโ€™s recovering from a hard moment just a little faster.

Sometimes itโ€™s tolerating one more transition.

And sometimes, itโ€™s watching your childโ€™s world get a little bigger.

A Little Detour That Was Actually a Really Big Deal

One of my favorite examples of that happened when we decided to fit in an extra stop at Ripleyโ€™s Believe It or Not.

On paper, it wasnโ€™t anything extraordinary.

It was just a little one-hour excursion squeezed into an already very full weekend before heading back to the aquarium.

But for our family?

It was a really big deal.

Jackson was nervous and hesitant at first.

He wasnโ€™t particularly excited about going in. This wasnโ€™t what he had come to Newport for. The aquarium and his beloved sea creatures were familiar territory; this was something different, unexpected, and full of unknowns.

There was a time when that alone would have made an extra stop like this impossible.

But he went in.

And little by little, we watched something change.

There were so many hands-on and sensory experiences inside that his hesitation began to give way to curiosity.

He started exploring.

He engaged.

He let go.

He had fun.

He was nervousโ€”and he was brave enough to push through that nervousness and discover something new on the other side of it.

And then came something equally significant:

When our little adventure was finished, we transitioned back to the aquarium and continued our day.

An unfamiliar place.

An unexpected addition to the plan.

A completely different sensory environment.

Walking into it despite being unsure.

Enjoying it.

Leaving it.

And then transitioning back to the original plan.

To someone looking from the outside, it might simply look like:

We went somewhere for an hour.

But we knew.

This little one-hour excursion would have been impossible before.

Not difficult.

Not inconvenient.

Impossible.

And this weekend, it was possible.

Not necessarily easy.

But possible.

And there is something incredibly beautiful about realizing that something that once felt impossible has quietly become possible.

When His World Gets a Little Bigger

I think this may be one of the ways I want to remember Jacksonโ€™s growth:

His world is getting a little bigger.

We arenโ€™t measuring progress by whether everything suddenly becomes easy.

We arenโ€™t measuring it by whether meltdowns disappear.

They havenโ€™t.

We arenโ€™t pretending that autism somehow becomes less real simply because we had a wonderful weekend.

There are still hard moments.

There are still accommodations.

There are still things we navigate differently than other families might.

But those realities do not cancel out progress.

Instead, we are learning to notice when Jacksonโ€™s capacity to experience the world expands just a little more.

When something that once felt impossible becomes possible.

When uncertainty doesnโ€™t completely prevent curiosity.

When he can experience nervousness and still be brave.

When he can try something unfamiliar and discover that he actually enjoys it.

When we can add one more experience to the day.

When we can transition awayโ€”and then transition back.

These things may look small from the outside.

But when you remember when they werenโ€™t possible?

They donโ€™t feel small at all.

Sometimes you donโ€™t realize just how far your child has come until you suddenly find yourself standing in the middle of something you once couldnโ€™t do.

And you think:

Wait.

Weโ€™re doing it.

Donโ€™t Let Todayโ€™s Hard Moment Make You Forget How Far Youโ€™ve Come

There were still difficult moments this weekend.

And when you are in one of those moments, it can be easy to feel as though nothing has changed.

A meltdown can feel very big while youโ€™re standing in the middle of it.

A difficult transition can temporarily overshadow everything that went beautifully before it.

But then I remembered last fall.

And suddenly, I could see it.

Progress.

Growth.

Maturity.

Capacity.

Grace.

Not perfection.

Growth.

And isnโ€™t that so often how God works in all of us?

We tend to want transformation to happen in giant, unmistakable leaps.

We want to wake up one morning and discover that the difficult things are no longer difficult.

But so often, the Lord faithfully works through thousands of tiny moments that donโ€™t seem remarkable while weโ€™re living them.

A little more endurance.

A little more courage.

A little more patience.

One more thing that becomes possible.

And then one day, we look backward and realize:

We arenโ€™t where we used to be.

Sometimes we have to look back to see just how faithfully God has carried us forward.

Sea Creatures, Small Victories & a Very Full Two Days

So we explored.

We walked.

And walked.

And walked some more.

We watched sharks glide through the water.

We admired creatures from the deep.

We learned.

We laughed.

We ate.

We rested when we needed to.

We tried something new.

We navigated meltdowns.

We regrouped.

And then we kept going.

By the end of our two days, our feet hurt, our bodies were tired, and I think we had collectively seen enough fish to qualify for honorary marine biology degrees.

But our hearts were full.

Because tucked inside an ordinary family weekend at the aquarium were a hundred little reminders of Godโ€™s kindness.

The kindness of watching our son experience something he genuinely loves.

The kindness of seeing his face light up over creatures God made.

The kindness of noticing growth that can be difficult to recognize when you are living life one day at a time.

The kindness of realizing his world is getting a little bigger.

The kindness of getting another adventure togetherโ€”even when adventures with our family donโ€™t always look effortless.

And the kindness of a Creator who filled His world with creatures so strange, beautiful, intricate, and fascinating that we could spend a lifetime discovering them and still have more to see.

Praise the Lord for Progressโ€”and for Really Cool Sharks

Iโ€™m learning not to wait until everything is easy before calling something good.

This weekend was good.

It was also tiring.

There were meltdowns.

There were struggles.

There were probably moments when all three of us needed a timeout.

And there was so much joy.

Those things can exist together.

The hard does not erase the good.

And the presence of struggle does not mean there hasnโ€™t been progress.

So today, Iโ€™m thanking God for two days in Newport.

For a little boy who loves all things sea creatures.

For a daddy who explores alongside him.

For sharks swimming overhead.

For meals eaten well and breaks successfully taken.

For an unexpected one-hour adventure.

For the courage to walk into something unfamiliar.

For transitions that once would have been impossible.

For tired feet.

For small victories that really arenโ€™t so small.

And for growth that sometimes can only be seen when we turn around and look at how far weโ€™ve come.

Most of all, Iโ€™m thankful for the beautiful, bizarre, magnificent creatures our God dreamed up and spoke into existence for His gloryโ€”and that He graciously allows us to enjoy.

Praise the Lord for making such a wonderfully wild world.

And praise Him that, little by little, Jacksonโ€™s world is getting biggerโ€”and we get the privilege of watching him discover it.

Behold Him, Not Me: Part Four

A Convenient Religion

Judges 17:7โ€“13

โ€œIt is possible to seek Godโ€™s blessing while refusing Godโ€™s authority.โ€


The Most Dangerous Kind of Religion

If someone asked you what spiritual rebellion looks like, what would you picture?

Would you imagine someone abandoning church?

Rejecting Christianity?

Walking away from God altogether?

That is often what we think rebellion looks like.

Yet Judges 17 presents a far more subtle danger.

Micah does not reject religion.

In fact, he becomes increasingly religious.

He has a shrine.

He has idols.

He has an ephod.

He has household gods.

Now he wants a priest.

The problem is not a lack of religious activity.

The problem is that everything revolves around Micah.

The religion is designed for his convenience.

His preferences.

His control.

And if we are honest, that temptation remains alive in every generation.


A Levite Looking for a Better Opportunity

The story introduces a young Levite from Bethlehem in Judah.

This should immediately raise questions.

The Levites were the tribe set apart by God for spiritual service. Their inheritance was not land but the privilege of serving the Lord and teaching His people.

Yet here we find a Levite wandering the countryside looking for a place to settle.

Why?

The text does not tell us directly.

But it reveals something troubling.

The spiritual leadership of Israel has become just as unstable as the people they are meant to shepherd.

The Levite arrives at Micahโ€™s house, and Micah quickly sees an opportunity.

He offers him a position:

โ€œStay with me, and be to me a father and a priest.โ€ (Judges 17:10)

Notice the language.

Micah does not ask what God desires.

He asks what will benefit him.

He wants a personal priest.

Someone attached to his private shrine.

Someone who can provide religious legitimacy to a system God never authorized.

And the Levite accepts.

Not because it is faithful.

But because it is profitable.

For ten shekels of silver, clothing, and food, he becomes Micahโ€™s employee.

The arrangement appears spiritual.

But underneath it is a business transaction.

Micah gets religious credibility.

The Levite gets security.

Neither appears concerned with obedience to God.


Religion on Our Terms

What Micah is building is not true worship.

It is personalized religion.

God had already established where and how Israel was to worship.

The tabernacle stood as the place where sacrifices were offered and Godโ€™s presence was uniquely displayed among His people.

Yet Micah decides that Godโ€™s arrangement is inconvenient.

He creates his own.

His own shrine.

His own priest.

His own system.

His own rules.

Everything is customized according to his preferences.

This is the natural progression of the human heart.

When we begin reshaping God, we eventually begin reshaping worship.

Tim Keller summarizes the problem well:

โ€œGod says, worship Me as I am, not as you want Me to be. Worship Me as My Word directs, not as your heart suggests.โ€

That is precisely what Micah refuses to do.

And before we judge him too harshly, we should recognize how often we are tempted to do the same.

We may not build shrines in our homes.

But we frequently approach faith as consumers rather than disciples.

We ask:

What works for me?

What makes me comfortable?

What fits my schedule?

What aligns with my preferences?

The modern world encourages us to customize everything.

Our entertainment.

Our news.

Our shopping.

Our social media feeds.

And if we are not careful, we begin treating Christianity the same way.

Instead of asking, โ€œWhat has God commanded?โ€

We ask, โ€œWhat do I like?โ€


Wanting Godโ€™s Blessing Without Godโ€™s Authority

The climax of the story comes in verse 13.

Micah proudly declares:

โ€œNow I know that the Lord will prosper me, because I have a Levite as priest.โ€

This statement reveals the true condition of his heart.

Micah believes he has found the formula for blessing.

He has assembled all the religious pieces.

He has the shrine.

Yet Micah has misunderstood something fundamental.

He has the idols.

He has the priest.

Surely now God will bless him.

Godโ€™s blessing is not a reward for manipulating religious systems.

God cannot be controlled.

He cannot be purchased.

He cannot be managed.

Micah treats worship almost like a superstition.

As though gathering enough religious objects and religious people will guarantee divine favor.

Yet genuine faith is not about controlling God.

It is about surrendering to Him.

This temptation remains incredibly common today.

We can begin treating prayer like a formula.

Church attendance like a transaction.

Bible reading like a spiritual insurance policy.

We subtly convince ourselves that if we perform the right activities, God owes us certain outcomes.

But God is not interested in being used.

He desires to be worshiped.


The Better Priest

Micah wanted a priest who belonged to him.

A priest who would serve his interests.

A priest he could hire.

A priest he could control.

But Godโ€™s people do not need a priest of their own making.

We have been given a perfect High Priest.

The book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus Christ serves as our great High Priest before the Father.

Unlike Micahโ€™s priest, Jesus cannot be bought.

Unlike Micahโ€™s priest, Jesus never compromises.

Unlike Micahโ€™s priest, Jesus perfectly represents God to His people and His people before God.

The wandering Levite points us toward humanityโ€™s need for a faithful priest.

Jesus fulfills that need completely.


The Better Temple

Micah built a shrine.

God provided something better.

Throughout the Old Testament, Godโ€™s presence was associated with the tabernacle and later the temple.

But even these pointed beyond themselves.

Jesus declared:

โ€œDestroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.โ€ (John 2:19)

He was speaking about His own body.

Jesus is the true meeting place between God and humanity.

Micah attempted to create a sacred space that would guarantee Godโ€™s favor.

God gave us Christ.

We do not travel to a private shrine to find Him.

We come to Jesus.


The Better King

The repeated refrain of Judges reminds us:

โ€œIn those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.โ€

Micahโ€™s story illustrates exactly what happens when people become their own authority.

They reshape God.

They reshape worship.

They reshape truth.

They reshape morality.

They become kings of their own lives.

Yet the Bibleโ€™s answer is not better self-help.

The answer is a better King.

Jesus does not simply offer advice.

He reigns.

And unlike every human leader, His rule is good.

His commands are good.

His authority is good.

True freedom is not found in doing whatever seems right in our own eyes.

True freedom is found in joyful submission to the King who sees clearly.


Behold Him, Not Me

Micahโ€™s religion looked impressive.

He had all the right pieces.

A shrine.

A priest.

Religious language.

Religious activity.

Religious confidence.

Yet none of it brought him closer to God because it was ultimately centered on himself.

The danger of Judges 17 is not merely false religion.

It is self-centered religion.

A faith that uses God rather than worships Him.

A faith that seeks blessings without surrender.

A faith that wants Godโ€™s gifts more than God Himself.

The gospel offers something infinitely better.

Not a convenient religion.

Not a customized spirituality.

Not a God made in our image.

But Jesus Christ.

Our better Priest.

Our better Temple.

Our better King.

The One who does not exist to serve our preferences.

The One who came to rescue us from ourselves.

May we learn to stop asking how God can fit into our plans.

And instead ask how our lives can be shaped by His.

Behold Him, not me.


Heart Check

โ€ข Are there areas where I want Godโ€™s blessings more than Godโ€™s authority?

โ€ข Have I been treating faith as a relationship or as a transaction?

โ€ข Do I approach God seeking surrender or control?

โ€ข Are there parts of my life I have customized according to my preferences rather than Godโ€™s Word?

โ€ข What would joyful submission to Christ look like in my life today?


Prayer

Father,

Forgive me for the ways I seek Your blessings while resisting Your authority. Forgive me for the times I have approached faith as a transaction rather than a relationship.

Thank You for giving me something far better than self-made religion. Thank You for Jesus, my perfect High Priest, my true Temple, and my rightful King.

Teach me to surrender areas of my life that I have kept under my own control. Help me to trust Your wisdom more than my preferences and Your Word more than my feelings.

May my faith not be built around convenience, comfort, or personal gain, but around knowing and worshiping You.

Teach me to behold Christ more clearly and to follow Him more faithfully.

In Jesusโ€™ name,

Amen.

Behold Him, Not Me: Part 2

Judges 13:1โ€“25

The Promised Deliverer and the God Who Gives Life

As I continue studying verse by verse through the book of Judges, I find myself increasingly amazed by how often God chooses to work through the weak, the overlooked, and the seemingly impossible.

Judges 13 introduces us to one of the most important mothers in Israelโ€™s history, yet we are never told her name.

We know her husbandโ€™s name. We know her sonโ€™s name. We know the nation she lived among and the oppression she endured. Yet the woman through whom God would begin Israelโ€™s deliverance remains unnamed.

At first glance, that may seem insignificant. But for many women, especially those who have walked through seasons of loneliness, infertility, disappointment, or feeling unseen, there is something deeply comforting here.

We may not know her name.

But God did.

And that is enough.

As someone who has wrestled with infertility myself, this passage immediately drew me in. For twelve years my husband and I prayed for a child. Then, in Godโ€™s kindness, He gave us Jackson. Yet even now, as Jackson grows older, there are still moments when I feel the ache of unmet expectations and unanswered prayers.

Perhaps that is why this woman feels so familiar.

She was barren.

She knew disappointment.

She understood waiting.

And yet she was not forgotten.

Samsonโ€™ Mom

Israelโ€™s Need and Godโ€™s Mercy

Judges 13 opens with a familiar refrain:

โ€œAnd the people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord.โ€

We have seen these words throughout the book of Judges.

Israel sins.

God disciplines.

Israel suffers.

God raises up a deliverer.

The cycle repeats.

This time, God gives Israel into the hands of the Philistines for forty years.

Israelโ€™s greatest problem, however, was not the Philistines.

It was their sin.

And the same is true for us.

The greatest danger we face is never ultimately outside of us. It is the rebellion that resides within our own hearts.

Yet even as Israel continues its downward spiral, God is already preparing a rescue.

Not because Israel deserves it.

Not because they have repented.

But because God is merciful.

The God Who Sees the Unseen

The angel of the Lord appears not to a king.

Not to a priest.

Not to a military leader.

He appears to a barren woman.

And the first words she hears are words of hope:

โ€œBehold, you are barren and have not borne children, but you shall conceive and bear a son.โ€ (Judges 13:3)

The world often overlooks people who seem insignificant.

God does not.

Scripture repeatedly reminds us that God sees those whom others forget.

Hagar in the wilderness.

Ruth in the fields.

Hannah in her grief.

Elizabeth in her barrenness.

And here, Manoahโ€™s wife.

The God of Scripture is not drawn to the impressive. He delights in displaying His power through weakness.

Her barrenness was not evidence of Godโ€™s absence.

It became the stage upon which His grace would be displayed.

A Child Set Apart Before Birth

The angel gives unusual instructions.

Manoahโ€™s wife is not to drink wine.

She is not to eat anything unclean.

Her sonโ€™s hair must never be cut.

Why?

Because the child would be a Nazarite from birth.

The Nazarite vow described in Numbers 6 was ordinarily voluntary and temporary.

A person would willingly set themselves apart for a specific season of devotion to God.

The vow included three primary restrictions:

  • No cutting of the hair.
  • No produce from the vine.
  • No contact with dead bodies.

These were outward signs of an inward dedication to the Lord.

But Samsonโ€™s situation was unique.

He never chose this vow.

God chose it for him.

Before he was born.

Before he could speak.

Before he could understand.

Before he could make any decisions for himself.

God had already set him apart.

Notice how far back Godโ€™s claim on Samson extends.

The vow begins while he is still in his motherโ€™s womb.

What she consumes affects him.

What she does impacts him.

Godโ€™s purpose for Samson begins before birth.

That reality should cause us to pause.

In a culture that often treats unborn life as insignificant, Scripture consistently presents the child in the womb as a real human being known by God.

Samson is not viewed as a potential person.

He is already a person with a divine calling.

Godโ€™s instructions concern him even before he takes his first breath.

The Lordโ€™s care for life begins long before birth.

The Nazarite Vow

When God Writes a Story We Didnโ€™t Choose

As I studied Samsonโ€™s lifelong Nazarite calling, I found myself wondering something.

Have you ever known someone whose life seemed planned out before they were born?

Perhaps their family had certain expectations.

Certain traditions.

Certain goals.

Certain dreams.

Sometimes those expectations can become burdens.

They can produce resistance.

Even rebellion.

And I cannot help but wonder if that contributed to some of Samsonโ€™s struggles.

As we will soon see, Samson repeatedly pushes against the very calling God placed upon his life.

He breaks every aspect of the Nazarite vow.

He pursues what God forbids.

He treats holy things casually.

He resists the identity God gave him.

And if we are honest, we often do the same.

How frequently do we push against Godโ€™s design for our lives?

How often do we resent the circumstances He has chosen for us?

How often do we look at His plans and secretly wish for different ones?

The problem is not merely that we dislike His plans.

The problem is that we often believe our plans are better.

That has been a painful lesson for me.

There have been moments in my infertility journey when my heart has quietly insisted that I know what would be best.

A larger family.

More children.

A different path.

A more โ€œnormalโ€ experience of motherhood.

None of those desires are inherently sinful.

Children are blessings from the Lord.

Yet even good desires can become dangerous when they become demands.

When I insist that God must give me what I want in order for His plan to be good, I am placing myself in the position of judge.

I am declaring that my wisdom is superior to His.

And that is not trust.

It is idolatry.

The God Who Gives Life

One of the most beautiful themes in Scripture is Godโ€™s habit of bringing life from impossible situations.

Samson is not the first miraculous child.

Long before him, there was Isaac.

Sarah was barren.

Yet God gave life.

Then Samuel.

Hannah was barren.

Yet God gave life.

Then John the Baptist.

Elizabeth was barren.

Yet God gave life.

And finally Jesus.

Not conceived through a barren womb but through a virgin.

An even greater miracle.

Each birth announces the same truth:

Salvation belongs to the Lord.

God is demonstrating that His purposes do not depend upon human ability.

He is showing us that redemption is His work from beginning to end.

As Romans 4:17 declares, He is the God:

โ€œwho gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.โ€

Every miraculous birth points us to that reality.

Every impossible pregnancy whispers the same message:

God alone saves.

God gives Life

Samson Points Beyond Himself

Yet there is something striking in the angelโ€™s announcement.

The angel does not say Samson will completely save Israel.

Instead he says:

โ€œHe shall begin to save Israel from the hand of the Philistines.โ€ (Judges 13:5)

Begin.

Not finish.

Samsonโ€™s salvation would be incomplete.

Like every judge before him, he would ultimately fail.

His victories would be real.

But partial.

His strength would be impressive.

But insufficient.

His life would point beyond itself.

In many ways Samson prepares us for David.

David would accomplish what Samson could not.

He would establish peace and defeat Israelโ€™s enemies.

Yet David would also fail.

His greatest enemies were not outside him but within his own heart.

And so David points beyond himself as well.

Both Samson and David leave us longing for a greater Deliverer.

One who would not merely begin the rescue.

One who would finish it.

The Better Samson

Jesus is everything Samson was supposed to be.

Samson was set apart from birth.

Jesus was set apart before the foundation of the world.

Samson possessed great strength.

Jesus possesses all authority in heaven and on earth.

Samson repeatedly failed.

Jesus never sinned.

Samson began a deliverance he could not complete.

Jesus finished the work completely.

As the angel told Joseph:

โ€œHe will save his people from their sins.โ€ (Matthew 1:21)

That is the salvation every judge pointed toward.

That is the salvation every king pointed toward.

That is the salvation every miraculous birth pointed toward.

The story was never ultimately about Samson.

It was always about Christ.

Behold Him, Not Me

The longer I study Judges, the more convinced I become that the book is designed to leave us dissatisfied with human heroes.

Every judge disappoints us.

Every deliverer fails.

Every leader falls short.

The need for a Savior keeps growing.

And that is precisely the point.

Judges is teaching us to stop looking horizontally for salvation and start looking upward.

Not to Samson.

Not to David.

Not to ourselves.

To Jesus.

The One who does not merely begin the rescue.

The One who finishes it.

The One who gives life where there is only death.

The One who sees the forgotten.

The One who keeps every promise.

The One who takes away the sins of the world.

Behold Him, not me.

Two Truths from Judges 13

He Told Her All His Heart

โ€œThen he told her all his heartโ€ฆโ€
โ€” Judges 16:17

Iโ€™ve read the story of Samson and Delilah many times.

Like many people, I often focused on the obvious lessonsโ€”the danger of temptation, Samsonโ€™s pride, Delilahโ€™s betrayal, or the cutting of his hair. But this morning, one small phrase stopped me in my tracks:

โ€œThen he told her all his heart.โ€

Suddenly, Samson felt less like a larger-than-life judge and more like a deeply lonely man.

Behind all the strength, bravado, and reckless choices was someone desperately craving intimacy.

Samson wanted to be known.

He wanted to be loved.

He wanted someone to hold his heart.

The tragedy is not that Samson desired intimacy. God created us for relationship. The tragedy is that Samson sought from Delilah what he could only receive from God.

Isnโ€™t that often our story too?

How often do we go to people first for validation, security, comfort, approval, or identity? We carry empty places in our hearts and expect spouses, friends, children, ministry, success, or relationships to fill what only God was ever meant to satisfy.

Psalm 118:8 reminds us:

โ€œIt is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.โ€

The problem isnโ€™t loving people.

The problem is asking people to be what only God can be.

When we come to others looking for them to fill our deepest needs, we eventually place a weight on them they were never designed to carry. But when we first come to the Lord, allowing Him to satisfy our hearts with His steadfast love, we are free to love others not out of need but out of service.

That is exactly what Samson never learned.

Many of us were taught that Samsonโ€™s strength was somehow hidden in his hair. Almost as if his hair possessed some magical power. But Scripture tells a different story.

After Delilah had his head shaved, Samson awoke expecting to defeat the Philistines once again.

โ€œBut he did not know that the Lord had left him.โ€ (Judges 16:20)

The hair was never the source of his strength.

The Lord was.

Psalm 28:7 says:

โ€œThe Lord is my strength and my shield.โ€

Samsonโ€™s strength did not leave when his hair was cut.

His strength left when the presence of the Lord departed.

As I reflected on this passage, my mind kept returning to Psalm 118. Again and again the psalmist repeats truths we need to hear:

โ€œThe Lord is on my side.โ€

โ€œThe Lord is my helper.โ€

โ€œThe Lord is my strength.โ€

โ€œHis steadfast love endures forever.โ€

The Christian life is not about becoming stronger versions of ourselves.

It is about learning to depend on the One who is already strong.

Unlike Samson, we do not need to rip city gates from their hinges and carry them up a mountain. We do not need to prove ourselves through our own strength.

Instead, we are invited to enter the gates of the Lord with thanksgiving, humility, and trust.

The steadfast love of the Lord endures forever.

And because it does, we can bring Him our whole hearts.

As I closed my Bible this morning, I realized that Samsonโ€™s story isnโ€™t only a warning for meโ€”itโ€™s a mirror.

Like Samson, I know what it is to crave being seen. I know what it is to long to be known, understood, chosen, and loved. There are days when I look to people for what I should first seek from God. Days when the approval of others feels more tangible than His presence. Days when I wish someone would notice the burdens I carry without me having to speak them aloud.

And if Iโ€™m being honest, sometimes the presence of the Lord doesnโ€™t feel like enough.

Not because He isnโ€™t enough, but because my heart is still learning to believe that He is.

That is part of living in a broken world. We were created for perfect fellowship with God, yet we live east of Eden, still feeling the ache of longing, loneliness, and unmet desires.

This morning I found myself praying:

โ€œLord, return to me the joy of my salvation. Remind me that You are my refuge and my strength. Teach me to wait patiently for You. When I am tempted to run to others for what can only be found in You, turn my heart back toward Your steadfast love. Hear my cry and turn to me. Let me find in You what I keep searching for everywhere else.โ€

The good news is that unlike Delilah, the Lord never betrays the heart that is entrusted to Him.

His steadfast love truly does endure forever.

Behold God, Not Me

Judges 12-13, Infertility, Idolatry, and the Deception of Sin

One of the things I love most about studying Godโ€™s Word verse by verse is that it often confronts me in places I didnโ€™t expect.

Recently, I found myself praying and talking with a friend about a struggle that has resurfaced many times throughout my life: infertility.

For twelve years, my husband and I prayed for a child. Then, in His kindness and perfect timing, God gave us Jackson. What a gift he has been. Yet as Jackson approaches eight years old, our family has not grown in the way I once assumed it would.

Like many women, I was told that once you have one child, having more often becomes easier. That has not been our story.

And if Iโ€™m honest, there are days when grief sneaks in.

I see beautiful growing families around me. I celebrate them sincerely because every child is a gift from God. Working in foster care has only deepened that conviction. There is not a single child I believe was born outside the knowledge and purpose of our good Father.

Yet sometimes I still find myself asking, โ€œLord, why?โ€

Why do some families grow effortlessly while others wait?

Why are some prayers answered quickly while others seem to linger unanswered?

As always, when I earnestly seek the Lord about the condition of my heart, He faithfully meets me in His Word.

Some Are Increased, Others Are Diminished

As I was studying the minor judges in Judges 12, I noticed an interesting contrast.

Ibzan had thirty sons and thirty daughters (Judges 12:9).

Earlier in Judges, Jair also had thirty sons.

Yet Jephthah had only one childโ€”a daughterโ€”and through his foolish vow and tragic actions, she never married and left no descendants.

Seventeenth-century commentator Matthew Henry observed:

โ€œSome are increased, others are diminished; both are the Lordโ€™s doing.โ€

Those words are not easy to accept.

Our hearts naturally want explanations.

We want formulas.

We want reasons.

We want to know why God gives one person abundance while another experiences loss.

Yet Scripture repeatedly reminds us that Godโ€™s wisdom exceeds our own.

Isaiah tells us:

โ€œFor my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.โ€ (Isaiah 55:8-9)

That was exactly the reminder my heart needed.

God knows what He is doing.

God knows me.

God knows what will bring Him glory.

God knows what will make me more like Christ.

And that must be enough.

The Forgotten Judges and the God Who Is Remembered

As I continued reading, I noticed something else.

The Bible gives us only a few details about Ibzan, Elon and Abdon. We learn how long they judged Israel. We learn a few facts about their families. Then their stories end.

At first glance, it almost feels unsatisfying.

We want more details.

We want their stories fully told.

But perhaps that discomfort reveals something about us.

Isnโ€™t that what we want for ourselves?

We want to leave a legacy.

We want to be remembered.

We want our stories to matter.

Yet Scripture consistently directs our attention elsewhere.

The Bible is not ultimately about human greatness.

It is about Godโ€™s greatness.

The focus of Scripture is not the lives of judges, kings, prophets, or even ordinary believers.

The focus is Christ.

Every page points to Him.

Even Abdonโ€™s wealth and the mention of his sons riding on donkeys subtly remind us of a greater King who would one day ride into Jerusalem on a donkey, fulfilling prophecy and declaring His kingship.

The judges fade into the background.

Christ remains.

And that leads me to ask an uncomfortable question:

Does my life say, โ€œBehold me,โ€ or โ€œBehold Godโ€?

Character profiles of the 3 Minor Judges discussed

The Beginning of the Final Cycle

As we enter Judges 13, we begin the final cycle of the book.

The chapter opens with familiar words:

โ€œAnd the people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord.โ€

We have seen this refrain over and over throughout Judges.

The people sin.

God disciplines them.

They cry out.

God delivers them.

Then the cycle repeats.

Yet there is something particularly significant about this final occurrence.

The phrase โ€œevil in the sight of the Lordโ€ highlights a truth our culture desperately needs to hear.

Notice what the text does not say.

It does not say Israel did what was evil in their own eyes.

In fact, later in Judges we encounter another repeated phrase:

โ€œEveryone did what was right in his own eyes.โ€

The two statements are connected.

The Israelites did not wake up every morning thinking, โ€œToday I will rebel against God.โ€

They believed their choices were reasonable.

Understandable.

Justified.

Acceptable.

In their own eyes, much of their behavior probably seemed perfectly fine.

Yet God saw things differently.

And therein lies the danger.

What Is Sin?

This passage teaches us something foundational about sin.

Sin is not ultimately defined by my feelings.

Sin is not determined by cultural approval.

Sin is not established by majority opinion.

Sin is not measured by whether my conscience happens to bother me.

Sin is defined by God.

Something is sinful because it violates Godโ€™s will and Godโ€™s design.

This truth directly contradicts modern thinking.

Our culture continually tells us:

โ€œFollow your heart.โ€

โ€œLive your truth.โ€

โ€œYou define what is right for you.โ€

But Scripture says something very different.

If morality is determined only by personal perception, then no one can meaningfully condemn evil.

History itself demonstrates the flaw in that thinking.

People can sincerely believe terrible things.

Groups of people can collectively justify horrific actions.

Human perception is not a trustworthy standard.

Only God is.

The eyes that ultimately matter are not my eyes.

They are Godโ€™s.

The Deception of Sin

The second truth we learn is how deceptive sin really is.

The Israelites had convinced themselves they were fine.

They had explanations.

Rationalizations.

Justifications.

At the conscious level, everything seemed acceptable.

But beneath the surface, they had drifted far from God.

That should concern all of us because we are no different.

The most dangerous sins are often not the obvious ones.

The most dangerous sins are the ones we have learned to justify.

Pride.

Bitterness.

Materialism.

Worry.

Control.

Self-reliance.

These sins rarely look sinful in our own eyes.

And this is where the Lord began pressing on my own heart.

When Good Desires Become Ultimate Desires

As I thought about my longing for more children, I realized something uncomfortable.

The desire itself is not sinful.

Children are a blessing.

Family is a gift.

Wanting those things is good.

But good things become idols when they become ultimate things.

The line between loving something and worshiping something is often thinner than we realize.

And I began to wonder:

Had I crossed that line?

Had my desire for more children subtly become a demand?

Was I saying, โ€œGod, I know what would be best for my lifeโ€?

Was I acting as though Godโ€™s gifts were somehow insufficient?

Was I placing myself in the judgeโ€™s seat?

Because when I insist that God must give me what I want in order for His plan to be good, I am no longer trusting Him.

I am attempting to replace Him.

That is the essence of idolatry.

An idol is not always a bad thing.

More often, it is a good thing that has become an ultimate thing.

Tim Keller famously described idols as good things turned into god things.

Family can become an idol.

Ministry can become an idol.

Work can become an idol.

Even motherhood can become an idol.

Anything we place above trustful submission to God becomes a rival to Him.

As the Puritan Thomas Brooks wisely wrote:

โ€œSatan paints sin with virtueโ€™s colors.โ€

The idol never announces itself as an idol.

It disguises itself as wisdom.

Responsibility.

Love.

Good stewardship.

Common sense.

And before we realize it, our hearts have drifted.

Bible Study Notes

Behold God

That is why we must constantly evaluate ourselves through Scripture.

Not through culture.

Not through emotions.

Not through popular opinion.

Through Godโ€™s Word.

The Word reveals what our hearts often hide.

And when it does, our response should not be despair.

It should be worship.

Because the goal of our lives is not ultimately to get everything we want.

The goal is not to have our preferred story.

The goal is not even to be remembered.

The goal is to behold God.

The minor judges came and went.

Their stories occupy only a few verses.

Yet Godโ€™s purposes prevailed.

Their significance was not found in the size of their role.

It was found in the God who authored the story.

The same is true for us.

Whether God increases or diminishes.

Whether He gives or withholds.

Whether our stories look ordinary or extraordinary.

He remains worthy.

And so today, I find myself returning once again to Isaiah 55.

His ways are higher than my ways.

His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.

He knows what is best.

He knows my heart.

He is trustworthy.

And when I preach that truth to myself, it changes everything.

Behold Him, not me.

When Broken People Read Scripture Wrong: Jephthah, Grace, and Learning to Read the Bible Carefully

There is something both comforting and deeply unsettling about the story of Jephthah in Judges 10โ€“11.

Comforting, because God uses a rejected and broken man.
Unsettling, because that same man carries distorted beliefs about God that lead to devastating consequences.

For many women learning to study Scripture faithfully โ€” especially young mothers, homeschool moms, women rebuilding after hardship, or believers new to the faith โ€” Jephthahโ€™s story becomes more than history. It becomes a mirror.

Because one of the hardest truths to learn as Christians is this:

We can know some truth about God while still misunderstanding Him deeply in other places.

And if we are not careful readers of Scripture, we can begin mixing biblical truth with cultural assumptions, personal wounds, fear, and worldly thinking.

That is exactly what happens in the life of Jephthah.


God Raises an Unlikely Savior

Jephthah is introduced in Judges 11 as a mighty warrior. But immediately we are told something painful about him:

He was the son of a prostitute.

His half-brothers drove him away from the family home, rejecting him and cutting him off from inheritance and belonging. He grew up as an outcast, living in the wilderness surrounded by what Scripture calls โ€œworthless fellowsโ€ โ€” essentially a band of violent men and raiders.

Humanly speaking, Jephthah is not the kind of man anyone would expect God to use.

And yet God does.

This is one of the repeated themes throughout the book of Judges: God continually rescues His people through deeply flawed deliverers.

Why?

Because the judges were never meant to be ultimate saviors. They were shadows pointing forward to the true Savior still to come โ€” Jesus Christ.

Jephthahโ€™s rejection points us toward Christ, who was also rejected by His own people.
Jephthahโ€™s suffering prepared him to lead hurting people.
His strength in battle reflected Israelโ€™s need for deliverance.

But unlike Jesus, Jephthah was deeply sinful and spiritually confused.

And Scripture does not hide that from us.

Character Profile

Learning Context Matters

One of the biggest mistakes new believers often make when reading the Bible is assuming that because the Bible describes something, God therefore approves of it.

But biblical narrative does not always equal biblical endorsement.

The book of Judges especially shows us what life looks like when โ€œeveryone did what was right in his own eyesโ€ (Judges 21:25).

The stories become darker and darker intentionally.

Judges is not simply recording heroic stories. It is showing the spiritual collapse of Israel when people drift from Godโ€™s Word.

That context matters tremendously when reading Jephthahโ€™s tragic vow.


Jephthahโ€™s Strength โ€” and His Blindness

Before battle with the Ammonites, Jephthah actually shows surprising wisdom.

Instead of immediately rushing into war, he first pursues peace. He sends messengers, reasons carefully through Israelโ€™s history, and presents legal, theological, and historical arguments explaining why the Ammonites are in the wrong.

This matters because it shows Jephthah was not merely a reckless brute. He understood leadership, diplomacy, and negotiation.

God had even shaped his painful background into useful strength.

His suffering formed resilience.
His exile formed toughness.
His wilderness years formed leadership.

Sometimes the hardest parts of our lives become the very places God uses most powerfully.

But giftedness is not the same thing as spiritual maturity.

And this is where careful Bible reading becomes so important.

Because right after displaying wisdom, Jephthah makes one of the most horrific vows in all of Scripture.

Judges 11 study notes

The Terrible Vow

Judges 11:29 says:

โ€œThen the Spirit of the Lord was upon Jephthahโ€ฆโ€

That detail matters.

God had already determined to give victory.

The outcome was never dependent on Jephthah bargaining with God.

Yet Jephthah vows that if God gives him victory, he will sacrifice whatever first comes from his house upon returning home.

And tragically, his daughter comes out first.

This is one of the moments where Christians must slow down and read carefully.

Some try to soften the text into something symbolic. Others suggest his daughter was merely devoted to lifelong service.

But the passage itself points toward something far darker and more tragic.

Why would Jephthah even make such a vow?

Because although he knew about God, he still thought about God in many pagan ways.

Study Notes Continued

When We Mix God With The World

The surrounding pagan cultures practiced human sacrifice. Their gods were viewed as beings who had to be manipulated, impressed, or bribed through extravagant offerings.

Jephthah had absorbed some of that thinking.

And if we are honest, we often do the same thing.

Not usually through violence or sacrifice โ€” but through worldly beliefs about success, beauty, money, relationships, motherhood, control, or worth.

We often say we believe graceโ€ฆ

Yet live as though Godโ€™s love must constantly be earned.

We assume:

  • God will love us more if we perform better.
  • God is pleased only when we are productive.
  • Godโ€™s blessing depends entirely on our perfection.
  • Rest must be earned.
  • Weakness disqualifies us.

That is not the gospel.

And that is why studying Scripture carefully matters.

Because if we are not rooted deeply in Godโ€™s Word, culture will disciple us instead.

Romans 12:2 warns:

โ€œDo not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.โ€

Jephthahโ€™s tragedy is not merely that he made a foolish vow.

It is that he fundamentally misunderstood the character of God.


Grace Is Harder To Believe Than Rules

Perhaps the saddest part of the story is this:

Even after realizing the horror of his vow, Jephthah still seems unable to trust Godโ€™s mercy enough to repent and stop.

Why?

Because he does not truly understand grace.

He seems trapped by fear โ€” believing God must be appeased rather than trusted.

And honestly, many believers live there too.

Grace feels unsafe to us.

We would often rather manage God through rules than trust Him relationally.

But the gospel tells us something radically different:

Godโ€™s favor cannot be bought.

The Father already decided to rescue His people long before Jephthah made his vow. Likewise, Christ came for sinners before we cleaned ourselves up.

Jesus is the better Judge.

Where Jephthah sacrificed his daughter because of his sinful misunderstanding, God the Father willingly gave His own Son out of perfect love and perfect wisdom to save sinners.

One sacrifice brought death through human sin.
The other brought life through divine grace.


How Do We Read Scripture Faithfully?

Stories like this teach us several important principles for Bible study:

1. Read passages in context

Never isolate verses from the larger story of Scripture.

2. Distinguish description from approval

The Bible often records sinful actions honestly without endorsing them.

3. Let clearer passages interpret difficult ones

Scripture already clearly condemns human sacrifice elsewhere.

4. Study Godโ€™s character across the whole Bible

One distorted view of God can shape an entire life wrongly.

5. Read humbly

Every culture has blind spots. We need Scripture constantly correcting us.


A Final Encouragement For Christian Women

If you are new to studying Scripture, please do not be discouraged by difficult passages like this.

Lean into them.

Some of the deepest growth happens when we slow down, ask questions, study context, and allow Scripture to reshape how we think about God.

The goal of Bible study is not merely gathering information.

It is learning to know the Lord rightly.

And that matters because what we believe about God shapes everything:

  • how we mother,
  • how we endure suffering,
  • how we handle failure,
  • how we rest,
  • how we repent,
  • and how we love others.

Jephthahโ€™s story is tragic.

But even tragedies in Scripture are gracious warnings meant to draw us closer to the true Savior โ€” the One who does not manipulate, crush, or abandon His people, but lovingly redeems them through grace.

Bible Study Principles

When Success Becomes More Dangerous Than Failure

Lessons from Gideon for Christian Women Seeking Faithfulness

โ€œWe need to remember we are saved by grace when we fail, but we need to remember it much more when we succeed.โ€ โ€” Tim Keller

The last few days in my verse-by-verse study through the book of Book of Judges have pressed this truth deeply into my heart.

When we think of spiritual danger, we often think of failure. Falling into sin. Wandering from God. Seasons of weakness. But Gideonโ€™s story reminds us that success may actually be the greater threat to our souls.

God Reduced the Army by 99%

When Gideon marched into battle against Midian, he did not go in strong.

He went in weak.

God intentionally reduced Gideonโ€™s army from thousands down to only 300 men. The Lord stripped away every earthly reason Israel could boast in themselves.

What power there is in that truth.

Imagine what God can do with one percent.

In the Book of Judges, chapter 7, the Israelites marched into battle not with military strength, but with trumpets, jars, and torches. And when the jars shattered and the trumpets sounded, the Lord caused the enemy camp to turn against itself.

The battle belonged entirely to God.

Gideon should have walked away from that battlefield saying:

โ€œThis victory was the Lordโ€™s. My role was simply to trust and obey.โ€

And honestly, I understand this personally.

Recently, in my own work advocating for vulnerable children and families, I found myself sitting at a table with attorneys, professionals, and a judge. I come from a background very different from many of my peers. I was raised in poverty and abuse. I do not have prestigious credentials or a polished rรฉsumรฉ.

What I do have is a testimony.

I know the power of God.

And when the Lord allows even a small victory in my work, I have to consciously preach the gospel back to myself:

โ€œThis did not come from me.โ€

God uses what is weak to shame what is strong.

At the end of our lunch together, everyone stood to leave, and there was an unspoken assumption that I would clean the table and bus the dishes.

The world would call that offensive.

Pride would say:
โ€œYou deserve more honor than this.โ€

But as I carried the dishes away, I sensed the quiet kindness of God reminding me:

โ€œThis is good for you.โ€

And truly, it was.

Because humility guards the heart in ways success never can.

Serving keeps us close to Christ.

Gideon Forgot What Grace Had Done

As we move into chapter 8, Gideon begins changing.

And the shift is subtle at first.

When the tribe of Ephraim complains that Gideon did not call them into battle sooner, Gideon answers diplomatically and gently. He calms their anger with humility.

At first glance, this looks godly.

But the next interaction reveals something deeper.

When the towns of Succoth and Penuel refuse to help Gideonโ€™s exhausted men, Gideon erupts in anger and vengeance. He threatens punishment. Later, after his victory, he returns and carries out brutal revenge against his own people.

Why the different response?

Because Ephraim wounded Gideonโ€™s pride gently.

Succoth and Penuel wounded it directly.

And suddenly we begin to see that Gideonโ€™s heart has shifted from dependence on God to dependence on his own honor.

The man who once hid in a winepress trembling now expects recognition.

The man who once begged God for reassurance now lashes out when others do not respect him.

Success revealed what was already growing in Gideonโ€™s heart.

The Danger of Spiritual Success

There is a terrible danger in success.

Not because success itself is sinful, but because our hearts are desperate to believe we earned it.

We begin by thanking God for the victory.

Then slowly we begin protecting our reputation.

Defending our influence.

Needing recognition.

Wanting respect.

And before long, we are no longer serving Godโ€™s kingdom.

We are building our own.

Gideon forgot that God called him.
God equipped him.
God reassured him.
God won the battle.

And sisters, we forget too.

We forget that every good work we do was prepared beforehand by God.

We forget that faithfulness itself is grace.

We forget that motherhood, ministry, leadership, hospitality, encouragement, advocacy, teaching, and service are not trophies we earned, but gifts we were entrusted with.

Ephesians 2:8-10

โ€œFor by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.โ€

Key Takeaways

We Still Build Ephods

One of the saddest moments in Gideonโ€™s story comes after he refuses kingship.

Outwardly, Gideon says the right thing:

โ€œThe Lord will rule over you.โ€

But immediately afterward, Gideon begins living like a king anyway.

He gathers wealth.
He elevates himself.
He creates an ephod that becomes a snare to Israel.

In other words:
he rejected the title while embracing the glory.

And if we are honest, we often do the same.

We say:
โ€œAll glory to God.โ€

But inwardly we crave recognition.

We want to be the one people admire.
The one people need.
The one people look to for answers.

Ministry can quietly become self-salvation.

Motherhood can become identity worship.

Even serving others can become another way of trying to prove our worth.

We still build ephods.

Look to the Better Judge

But Gideon was never meant to be the final deliverer.

Like every judge in Scripture, he points us forward to a better Savior:
Jesus Christ.

Unlike Gideon, Jesus did not use His authority to demand honor.

Though He was King, He came as a servant.

Though He deserved glory, He washed feet.

Though He had every right to be exalted, He humbled Himself to death on a cross.

Jesus Christ did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many.

And because of that, we are finally free.

Free from needing applause.
Free from proving ourselves.
Free from being crushed by failure.
Free from becoming intoxicated by success.

The gospel liberates us from both pride and despair.

A Final Encouragement

Friend, maybe God has recently given you victory in some area of life.

Maybe your marriage is flourishing.
Maybe ministry is growing.
Maybe motherhood feels fruitful.
Maybe people are finally recognizing your gifts.

Praise God for those things! Success can either deepen worship or feed self-glory.

It is well for us to serve.
It is well for us to be humbled.
It is well for us to remember that we are creatures, not the Creator.

So today, ask yourself:

  1. Are there areas of my life where I am subtly seeking honor that belongs to God alone?
  2. And how does the servant-heartedness of Christ free me from turning success into self-salvation?

May we never forget:
the victory belongs to the Lord.

When Summer Doesnโ€™t Feel Free: Autism, Routine, Grief, and the Goodness of God

Honest thoughts after another sleepless nightโ€ฆ

Jackson had been hopping, running, flapping, vocalizing, and moving almost nonstop for over twenty-four hours. The kind of movement that tells me his little nervous system is trying so hard to regulate itself. The kind of exhaustion that settles deep into a motherโ€™s bones because even while your body is tired, your mind never fully rests.

And somewhere between the pacing and the praying last night, I found myself thinking about this season weโ€™re stepping into again.

Summer.

Or at least the version of summer families like ours experience.

Because summer feels different when you parent a child with autism.

For many families, summer means freedom. Later bedtimes. Road trips. Ballgames. Camping trips. Pool days. Spontaneous outings. Relaxed schedules. A temporary release from structure so families can collect memories and enjoy the break from routine.

But for many autism families, routine cannot simply disappear because the school year ended.

Routine is not just preference here.
It is safety.
It is regulation.
It is emotional predictability.
It is the framework that helps a childโ€™s nervous system feel secure enough to function.

And when routine breaks down, often so does everything else with it.

There can be dysregulation, sleep disruption, sensory overload, anxiety, meltdowns, setbacks, confusion, exhaustion, and a deep unraveling in areas where progress had finally begun to bloom.

So while the world around us seems to exhale in the summer, many of us grip tighter just trying to hold peace together inside our homes.

And if Iโ€™m being honest?

Sometimes that feels lonely.

I watch families around us living a version of motherhood that often feels inaccessible to me right now. I see kids Jackson once sat beside in classrooms now thriving in sports, making friendships effortlessly, gaining independence naturally, trying new experiences confidently.

I see younger children surpassing milestones my son is still fighting hard to reach.

And there is a grief in that I donโ€™t think people talk about enough.

Not because I am bitter.
Not because I am not genuinely happy for them.
Not because I would trade my son for another child.

I adore my son.

But because motherhood inside special needs parenting carries a very specific tension:
you can be deeply grateful while simultaneously grieving.

Both can exist at the same time.

I can clap for your child while quietly crying in the bathroom later because I wish some things came easier for mine.

And I think pretending otherwise helps no one.

Jackson is seven now.

There are things he does today that once felt impossible. Things some children with autism may never fully accomplish independently. Every single victory matters to us because we understand what it cost him to get there.

But autism is complex.

A child can read above level while struggling with emotional regulation.
A child can memorize entire songs but not communicate their needs clearly.
A child can appear socially engaged one moment and completely dysregulated the next.
A child can seem โ€œhigh functioningโ€ to outsiders while privately struggling with things typical toddlers navigate with ease.

And that complexity is often misunderstood.

When people see capability in one area, they assume capability must exist everywhere else too.

So when it doesnโ€™t, the response is often criticism instead of curiosity.

Judgment instead of compassion.

Assumptions instead of questions.

And what hurts sometimes is not even the hard itself.

We can do hard things with Christ.

What hurts is feeling unseen inside the hard.

What hurts is when people stop extending understanding the moment autism doesnโ€™t look like what they expected it to look like.

Because autism is not always obvious.
And it is rarely linear.

There are days Jackson seems years ahead in one area and years behind in another all at once.

There are days he thrives beautifully.
And there are days where every small task feels impossibly hard.

Both are true.

I think thatโ€™s why I love the way Jesus interacted with hurting people in Scripture.

He noticed people others overlooked.

The weary.
The isolated.
The misunderstood.
The parents carrying invisible burdens.
The people sitting quietly on the edges of the crowd hoping someone would see them.

Jesus never seemed uncomfortable with complicated pain.

And honestly, that comforts me deeply because autism parenting is complicated pain sometimes.

Beautiful pain.
Holy pain.
Refining pain.
But still pain.

There are moments I desperately need someone to remind me:
Jackson is doing beautifully.
Progress does not have to look typical to matter.
God is not absent in delayed milestones.
And our future is not hopeless simply because it is unknown.

Because the truth isโ€”we simply do not know yet what Jacksonโ€™s future will fully look like.

Autism is not something you simply โ€œoutgrow.โ€

Can therapies help? Absolutely.
Can support systems help? Yes.
Can growth happen? Of course.

But autism is also a neurological difference that impacts the way a person experiences, processes, communicates, regulates, and interacts with the world.

And long-term outcomes are not always predictable.

That uncertainty can feel heavy as a parent.

Especially when the world keeps measuring children against timelines.

But lately God keeps reminding me:
He is not asking Jackson to become someone else.

And He is not asking me to parent someone elseโ€™s story.

Psalm 139 says God knit Jackson together intentionally.

Not accidentally.
Not mistakenly.
Not as an afterthought.

Intentionally.

And that means even the areas that feel hard to me are still fully seen by God.

The hidden victories matter to Him.

The sensory recoveries.
The flexibility after disruption.
The moments of connection.
The brave transitions.
The hard-earned words.
The regulation after overwhelm.
The trust.
The growth.
The trying again.

God sees all of it.

And maybe that is why I keep returning to dependence.

Because autism parenting has stripped away my illusion of control in so many ways.

It has taught me how desperately I need Christ daily.

Not the polished version of faith.
Not the social media version.
Not the โ€œeverything is inspiring all the timeโ€ version.

Real dependence.

The kind where you pray through meltdowns.
The kind where you cry in the bathroom and then walk back out anyway.
The kind where you celebrate tiny victories nobody else would notice.
The kind where you trust God with a future you cannot clearly picture.

And maybe that dependence itself is holy.

Maybe God is forming something eternal in us through this life we would not have chosen ourselves.

Our family may not look like everyone elseโ€™s family.
Our summers may not look like everyone elseโ€™s summers.
Our journey may not follow the timeline culture expects.

But our story is not less beautiful because it is different.

And to the special needs moms quietly carrying all of this too:

I see you.

God sees you.

Your child is not behind in the eyes of the One who created them.

Your exhaustion is not weakness.
Your grief is not failure.
Your longing does not cancel your gratitude.
And your hard is not unseen by God.

Keep showing up.

Keep loving deeply.

Keep trusting Jesus in the uncertainty.

And keep celebrating every single victory no matter how small the world thinks it is.

Because heaven notices things this world overlooks all the time.

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