He Called My Name — From Wilderness to Freedom

There was a version of me that was always searching.

Searching for peace.
Searching for quiet.
Searching for something—anything—to numb the ache I couldn’t explain.

I tried to silence it the only ways I knew how… in a bottle of whiskey, in pills, in relationships that promised comfort but left me emptier than before. I wasn’t just making bad choices—I was running. Running from pain. Running from memories. Running from the deep, hollow place inside me that nothing in this world could fill.

On the outside, I could smile. I could function. I could blend in.

But inside?
I was lost in a wilderness.

Seen in the Wilderness

There’s a story in Scripture that I had often read, but read it quickly and did not study it to really understand what was transpiring – until my own journey sort of forced me to. It forced me to ask the question: Where is God when I am hurting?

In Genesis, Hagar finds herself alone—used, rejected, cast out, and wandering in the desert with nothing but her pain and her child. And in that place, when she had nothing left, God met her.

“The angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness…” — Genesis 16:7

He didn’t wait for her to find her way back.
He went to her.

And He called her by name.

Hagar responded by giving God a name of her own:

“You are the God who sees me.” — Genesis 16:13

That’s the God I met too.

The Moment Everything Changed

I remember the moment.

Not polished. Not perfect. Not planned.

But real.

I heard Him call my name—not audibly, but unmistakably. It cut through the chaos, through the lies, through the numbness. And for the first time, I realized… He had always seen me.

Not the version I pretended to be.
Not the broken choices I tried to hide behind.

Me.

And in that moment, I had a choice:
Keep running… or respond.

When I responded—everything changed.

Not overnight. Not magically. But deeply. Eternally.

The suffering that once felt meaningless suddenly made sense in light of the cross.

“For the joy set before Him He endured the cross…” — Hebrews 12:2

Jesus endured suffering so that mine wouldn’t be wasted.
So that my story could be redeemed.
So that I could be free.

What Freedom Looks Like Now

Today, I am not who I used to be.

By the grace of God, I’ve been sober for years.
Not by my own strength—but by His.

Now I sit across from families—parents who are walking paths I once walked. I advocate for foster children who have endured unimaginable abuse. I step into broken places, not as someone who has it all together, but as someone who has been rescued.

And sometimes… the old voices try to come back.

“Who do you think you are?”
“You’re no different.”
“You’re not worthy of this work.”

But those voices don’t get the final say anymore.

Because now, I hear a different voice.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17

The voice of my King is louder.
The voice of my Savior is stronger.

And where His Spirit is—

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” — 2 Corinthians 3:17

This Is My Call to You

Maybe you’re reading this and you recognize yourself in my “before.”

The searching.
The numbing.
The exhaustion of trying to outrun what’s inside.

Let me tell you something in love and truth:

You don’t have to stay there.

God sees you—right where you are.
In your wilderness.
In your pain.
In your questions.

And He is calling your name.

The same Jesus who met me is calling you—not to shame you, but to save you.

“Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out.” — Acts 3:19

Repent. Turn. Come to Him.

Not when you “fix yourself.”
Not when you feel worthy.

Today.

“Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” — 2 Corinthians 6:2

Lay it down. The sin. The striving. The pain.
Believe in the One who endured the cross for you.

He will meet you there.

And I promise you—
the freedom on the other side is real.

My God is the God of Redemption.

Lost in addiction – experiencing the wilderness.

April 17, 2026 0

I can’t seem to move past Titus 2:3–5 lately… it’s been sitting heavy on my heart in the best way.

Paul’s words to women feel both tender and weighty: teach what is good, live what is holy.

One phrase especially stopped me—“not slanderers.”

The word we translate as “slanderers” here is actually the same Greek word for “devil” or “satan ”. That means when we speak maliciously, gossip, or tear one another down, it isn’t small talk… it’s aligning our words with the enemy. Literally devilish speech!

That alone is enough to make me pause before I speak.

Paul also calls women to be diligent—workers at home. Not confined, not limited, but purposeful. We see this beautifully in Proverbs 31—a woman who works both inside and outside her home. The heart behind it isn’t restriction, it’s a warning against idleness and a call to live intentionally.

There is something deeply holy about caring for a home, nurturing a family, and creating a place of peace in a chaotic world. Culture may downplay it, but Scripture lifts it up.

And submission? It’s not about inferiority—it’s about humility, order, and reflecting Christ in how we love and serve. It’s strength under control, not weakness.

In a world that celebrates independence at all costs, this kind of life can feel countercultural. But maybe that’s the point.

Because at the end of the day, this isn’t about roles—it’s about representation.

How we speak.

How we love.

How we serve.

How we carry ourselves in the unseen, ordinary moments.

All of it is pointing to something greater.

Lord, help me—and every woman reading this—to be a faithful ambassador of the gospel today. That matters more than anything.

April 13, 2026 0

The Woman God Honors: A Quiet Strength in a Loud World

There has always been a cultural narrative telling women who they should be.

In our world today, it often sounds like this: Be louder. Be independent at all costs. Put yourself first. Define your own truth. Don’t let anything—or anyone—limit you.

But this isn’t new.

Long before modern feminism took center stage, there was another movement shaping the identity of women—one that looked strikingly similar.

A Look Back: The “New Roman Woman”

In the days of Paul the Apostle, a cultural shift was taking place across the Roman Empire. Scholars often refer to it as the rise of the “new Roman woman.”

Wealthy women were gaining social and financial independence. With that freedom, many began to step outside the traditional structure of family life—not simply to contribute, but often to abandon it altogether. Some pursued multiple sexual relationships. Others avoided marriage entirely. Still others sought influence in public spaces while neglecting the responsibilities within their own homes.

This movement grew so prominent that Augustus himself enacted laws to try to slow the moral and familial decline. Birth rates were falling. Marriages were weakening. The foundation of the family was beginning to crack.

Sound familiar?

Paul’s Response: A Different Kind of Freedom

When Paul wrote to Titus, he wasn’t giving random instructions—he was offering a God-centered response to a culture in confusion.

In his Epistle to Titus, particularly in chapter 2, Paul outlines a vision for women that stands in stark contrast to both the ancient Roman movement and much of what we see today.

³Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

He speaks of women who are:

Reverent in the way they live Self-controlled, Pure, Devoted to their families, Kind and intentional in their influence.

At first glance, this might feel restrictive to some. But when we look deeper, we see something radically different from oppression—we see purpose, dignity, and eternal impact.

Two Voices, Two Visions

The world often defines a woman’s worth by how loudly she asserts herself, how much independence she claims, or how little she needs anyone else.

Biblical womanhood, however, tells a different story.

It says:

-Your strength is not proven in self-promotion, but in self-control. Your value is not found in independence from others, but in faithfulness to God. Your influence is not diminished in the home—it is multiplied there.

-Modern feminism, at its core, often elevates the individual woman above all else—her desires, her ambitions, her autonomy. And while there are elements that rightly acknowledge dignity and value, it can easily drift into a self-centered pursuit where serving others is seen as weakness.

But the Kingdom of God flips that completely.

The Beauty of a Servant’s Heart

Jesus Himself modeled this truth—greatness is found in serving.

A Christian woman who walks in reverence toward God carries a quiet strength the world cannot manufacture. She understands that caring for her family, loving well, living with purity, and walking in obedience is not lesser work—it is holy work.

This kind of life may not always be applauded by culture, but it is deeply honored by God.

And it is powerful.

Throughout Scripture, we see women who embodied this beautifully:

Lydia of Thyatira, whose faith and hospitality helped establish the early church Priscilla, who labored alongside her husband in ministry Phoebe, commended as a servant of the church Junia, recognized among the apostles

These women were not insignificant. They were not silenced. They were faithful—and their faithfulness shaped the Church.

What This Means for Us Today

As women of different ages, backgrounds, and seasons of life, we all feel the pull of culture in one way or another.

Some of us are raising children.

Some are working demanding jobs.

Some are doing both.

Some are in seasons of waiting, healing, or rebuilding.

The call of God is not one-size-fits-all in appearance—but it is unified in heart.

We are called to live in reverence.

To love deeply.

To serve willingly.

To walk in purity and self-control.

To reflect the goodness of God in how we move through the world.

Not because we are less—but because we belong to Him.

A Better Way

The question isn’t whether women have value—we absolutely do. That is not up for debate.

The question is: Where does that value come from?

Is it rooted in self, constantly striving to prove worth?

Or is it anchored in God, already secure, already known, already loved?

The woman who fears the Lord doesn’t need to fight for significance—she lives from it.

And in a world that tells her to grasp, she chooses to give.

In a culture that tells her to elevate herself, she chooses to serve.

In a moment that celebrates self, she reflects Christ.

And that… is a beauty the world cannot replicate.

April 11, 2026 2

The book of Titus is a powerful reminder that sound doctrine should always lead to transformed living. In this short but rich letter, Paul urges the church to live in a way that reflects the truth of the gospel—marked by integrity, self-control, and a deep love for what is good.

What’s incredible is how Paul engages the culture around him. He doesn’t ignore it—he understands it. When he calls believers to “love what is good,” he uses the Greek idea philagathon, a term familiar in their world and even used by philosophers like Aristotle to describe the highest moral virtue. Paul meets the Cretan people where they are, acknowledging that even their own thinkers recognized the need for goodness and moral standards—but then he points them to something greater: the only true source of blamelessness, Jesus Christ.

The same is true with self-control. Highly valued in Greek culture, yet ultimately unattainable in its fullness apart from God. As we see in Galatians 5:22–23, true self-control is not something we manufacture—it is fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within us.

To be sensible, righteous, and holy isn’t about perfection. It’s about a consistent outward life that reflects an inward transformation—a heart changed by faith in Jesus.

And this is where the beauty of Good Friday meets us. The call to live differently isn’t rooted in striving—it’s rooted in surrender. Jesus, the only truly blameless One, gave Himself for us so that we could be redeemed, restored, and made new.

This Good Friday, we remember: the gift is already given. Freedom is already offered. All that remains is to repent, believe, and receive the grace that changes everything.

Deep dive through Titus this month.

April 3, 2026 0

The Myth of Balance

The table is set with two kinds of nourishment.

On one side, a simple sandwich—bread ready to satisfy physical hunger. On the other, an open Bible, pages marked and highlighted, inviting something deeper. Both are necessary. But only one feeds the soul.

For many busy Christian women—especially moms who work inside and outside the home—the word balance can feel like a burden. We imagine perfectly portioned days where every responsibility gets equal attention: work deadlines met, laundry folded, meals cooked, children nurtured, ministries served, friendships maintained.

But Scripture never commands us to achieve balance. It calls us to abide.

Jesus said in John 6:35,

“I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”

And again in John 7:37–38,

“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me… ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”

Just as our bodies require daily food, our souls require daily nourishment from God’s Word. Matthew 4:4 reminds us:

“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

In John, Jesus refers to Himself as the Bread of Life. In John again, He describes Himself as Living Water. Bread nourishes. Water sustains. If our physical bodies require daily food to function, how much more does our soul require daily nourishment from the Word of God?

When life gets busy and frustrations rise, we often attempt to push through on sheer willpower. But our spirits grow weary when they are underfed. The Word of God strengthens us. It renews our minds. It steadies our hearts. It reminds us who we are and whose we are.

We don’t merely need better time management. We need spiritual sustenance.

In Luke 10:41–42, Jesus gently tells Martha:

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion…

The story of Mary and Martha in Luke shows us this clearly. Martha was distracted and anxious about many things. Mary chose the better portion—she sat at the feet of Jesus. Martha wasn’t wrong to serve. She was simply trying to carry what was never meant to be carried without first being filled.

We don’t need better time management—we need spiritual sustenance.

The peace we long for isn’t found in perfectly managed calendars. It flows from the Holy Spirit within us—steady, sustaining, abundant. That kind of peace comes when we pause, open the Word, and sit at His feet before we rise to meet the demands of the day.

Balance says, “Do more evenly.”

Jesus says, “Come and eat.”

And when we feast on His Word—daily, intentionally—we rise from the table nourished, renewed, and ready.

Peace that depends on circumstances will always waver. But the peace that flows from the Holy Spirit dwelling within us is steady, rooted, and sustaining. That peace comes not from achieving balance, but from prioritizing presence—daily time in Scripture, daily communion with Christ.

The myth of balance tells us to juggle better.

The gospel invites us to sit first.

And when we sit at His feet—when we feast on the Bread of Life and drink deeply of Living Water—we are strengthened to rise and serve from fullness rather than depletion.

March 5, 2026 1

Keep praying

Lamentations 3:40-44, ““Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord! Let us lift up our hearts and hands to God in heaven: “We have transgressed and rebelled, and you have not forgiven. “You have wrapped yourself with anger and pursued us, killing without pity; you have wrapped yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through.”
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭40‬-‭44‬ ‭ESV‬‬

What a gift that God purposefully allowed these words to become part of His Holy, inspired word. These verses are proof that God wants us to bring everything to Him, honestly.

For 5 years, I have recorded every meal, medication, poop, poop details, drinks, all details that make up the big picture of Jackson’s gut health. This has helped me to make shifts and those have been helpful – but even more so this has became a living history of my raw emotions going up to the Lord. My tears, frustrations, unknowns, so much effort, sometimes no gains, only setbacks….

The speaker of Lamentations in 3:44 said, “You God have wrapped yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through.”

It is ironic he said this as a line in prayer to God.
Even if you feel like your prayers are not being heard, keep praying! Despite the speaker’s doubt, clearly God did hear this prayer since it is recorded in His Scriptures!

The text began with a call to “test and examine OUR ways” and return to the Lord.

The people had not even asked for God’s forgiveness, let alone repented or turned, but here we see the speaker beginning to make this shift. Healing takes time.

Psalm 147:3 says the Lord, “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”.
Whether our heartbreak is an underserved outcome of others sinning against us or even if it’s caused by our own sin, God forgives those who seek His forgiveness.

He comforts. He mends.

For the first time this year, I am throwing away huge stacks of these “remembrance” pages. My Savior knows Jackson and He sees me. I am trusting Him and I will keep praying these special prayers for my special boy, knowing God will heal, forgive, and mend. ❤️

December 30, 2025 0

His mercies are new every morning

You are ___ ___ ___ __ ___…..

The harshness of my words filled our home this morning. Fill in the blanks here and it is possible what I said to my husband was worse still. What started off with a sudden wake up due to dogs barking and cats meowing turned into the ugliest session of not choice first fruits from my mouth. Our very loving but too domesticated dog Barnabas will not poop in the rain, living in the PNW this is a PROBLEM to say the least. I let him outside only for him to bark to get back in and place a perfectly positioned poop right in front of the Christmas tree. Before I get this cleaned up, the cats also seemed to have a struggle session and one of them used the bathroom in our bed! I am running around trying to clean this up, quietly, while my son is still asleep on the couch getting some of his best sleep that he has had in several nights…with each step I took my foot falls became louder, my heart rate faster, and the ugly parts of my heart started to bubble out from my mouth.

James really knew what he was saying when he proclaimed, “How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body…”

My husband was calmly doing his morning routine, this seemed to only make me even more frustrated. I then did the worst thing possible – I began to run through the list in my head of how I always get stuck doing all of the things. I work, I mom, my son is autistic, I have slept (barely) on the couch for 6 nights, now I have tons of laundry to do, Jackson still has hand, foot, and mouth disease, I haven’t wrapped any presents…. Sister the list just went on!

"Remember my affliction and my wonderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me." (Lam. 3:19-20).

I knew this was not the way. I am so blessed and even in this season of sickness and what feels like total isolation, even beyond the normal isolation that I (we) feel as a family affected by Autism, God has been present! We have had peace that surpasses understanding even in high fevers, emergency rooms, and everywhere in between. We have been graceful to each other as Christ is towards us… But in a moments time I forgot. I chose to see my circumstances as bigger than my God. I forgot that the enemy hates marriages and is after our children.

When my husband left for work my heart was heavy, my soul was what the writer of Lamentations referred to as, “bowed low” within me.

And then in a moment of what could have ONLY been the prompting of the Holy Spirit- I grabbed my prayer journal and began writing down all of the things I have been GRATEFUL for these last several days. Friend let me tell you – darkness will flee from the presence of God’s light. It took mere moments for my heart to soften and for my rage to be replaced by the deep awareness and need to repent. I prayed, I opened my Bible, and I got back to my study in Lamentations that has been on an extended pause this last week. And God’s Word, His living Word, spoke directly to what my soul needed.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion", says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him".

In Lamentations 3:18, we see the speaker say, “his endurance has vanished” and in 3:20, “his soul is bowed low”…. His soul was remembering his affliction continually…

BUT – the man has a turning point – he CHOOSES to do something important. The mans situation felt dark and hopeless. In Lam. 3:21 the man says, “But this I call to mind…”

Dr. Christopher Wright describes this verse in this way,

“It is the deliberate, determined, teeth gritting decision to call something to mind.”

This was not a reaction based purely on feelings – pay attention here – THIS WAS AN ACTION OF WILL!

Consider how Godly Grief is different than Worldly Grief:

2 Corinthians 7:10-11, "For Godly grief produces repentance that leads to Salvation without regret. Whereas worldly grief produces death."

Simply defined: Repentance is regret for having lost God's approval, which leads to a commitment to reverse one's conduct and live for God. Worldly grief is grief brought about by loosing the world's approval, this leads to trying to regain that approval, and this produces death or divine judgment.

Lamentations 3:23 says, God’s “mercies” are new every morning. This refers to not only a literal morning but also figurative as well. Every night we go to bed knowing the sun will rise the next day. The morning will come. The same is true of God’s mercy.

Even when it feels dark, the daylight of God’s illuminating GRACE and HOPE is on the way. Recall this truth to mind when times are hard. And the best way to call this truth to mind is remember it.

These few verses in Lamentations this morning reminded me of these foundational truths:

God’s love is steadfast. It never leaves us or changes.
God’s mercies never end, they are new everyday.
God is faithful.
God is my portion, in Christ I lack NOTHING.
God ALONE is where I find HOPE that never ceases.

Every Advent I pray that the Lord will reveal Himself to me in a new, deeper way. This morning, this last week, He did that experientially.

Friends, I pray my blundering moment this morning reminds you too that God’s mercies are new every morning. We are victorious in Christ – we have the FREEDOM to CHOOSE HIM. And in Him we will find everything we need.

December 23, 2025 0

Biblically expressing emotion

Part 1

New book study! This month I am embarking on a verse by verse journey through Lamentations in the Old Testament.

One of the reasons I specifically wanted to slowly delve into this book is to uncover its profound insights on Biblically expressing our emotions.

I want to comfort people in a Biblical way, embracing the Bible’s holistic approach to our well-being.

Emotions can be messy and confusing. Bob Kellemen, a renowned former professor of biblical counseling at Faith Bible Seminary, sheds light on ways to express our feelings in a God-honoring manner. These same principles are beautifully woven throughout Lamentations as well.

First, there are two unbiblical ways to express emotion:

1. Out of control expression

Over controlled suppression

Out of control expression means indulging all of our feelings without any filter. It is what the Apostle Paul warned against in Ephesians 4:19 when he said people had sinfully “given themselves up to sensuality.” They did whatever they felt. Feelings became their god instead of their feelings directing them towards God.

Over controlled suppression means stuffing our feelings down or pretending they don’t exist. Paul also called this out in Ephesians when he said, “Be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). Though it is not ok to sin, it is OK to acknowledge anger. Denial or self-deception towards our feelings does not work.

Where we see this in Lamentations:
Lamentations is not a rant or an unmeasured outburst of feelings. It is a carefully constructed expression directed to God (e.g., “O LORD, behold my affliction” Lamentations 1:9). Yet the poet also did not suppress the very real hurt and pain he and others felt (e.g. “For these things I weep; my eyes flow with tears… “ Lamentations 1:16).

Lord, enable and teach me to measure my emotions in a Holy way today. 🙌🏻❤️🙏

December 3, 2025 0

Do not FEAR – only Believe (Mark 5:36)

“Do not fear, only believe” (Mk. 5:36). Jesus’s words in Mark show us that Faith is the solution to fear.

For my 9-5 job, I work with children and youth who are in foster care and their families. This involves investigating the circumstances that brought the children into care and combing through pages and pages of reports on a weekly basis. Just this last week I read that a client typically uses, “a boat and a half” of fentanyl multiple times a day. This phrasing caught my eye because for the first time in 10 years of reviewing these reports, I was not sure how much that meant… I did not know the “lingo” for this level of usage. I dropped to my knees praising the Lord that I did not know this! It reminded me of where Christ brought me from, He truly has “put a new song in my mouth” (Psalm 40:3).

This last month I have been doing a slow read through the book of Matthew. Matthew specifically grouped his book in topical order, not chronological order, with over 60% of the book containing teachings and guidance that Jesus personally spoke. Restoration to the Broken could be a title heading for the four miracles recorded in Matthew 9:18-38. In light of my reminder this week I want to look a little closer at two of these miracles recorded. A miracle restoring a Broken Home (vv 18-19, 23-26) and restoration of a Broken Hope (vv 20-22; Mark 5:26).

For sake of time I will not be including all of the passage text so I HIGHLY encourage you to look at the passages being discussed.

A BROKEN HOME: It must have been hard for Jairus to come to Jesus, since he was a devout jew and the leader in the synagogue. BUT Jairus’s love for his dying daughter compelled him to seek Jesus’ help, even if the religious leaders were opposing him. When Jairus first came to Jesus, his daughter was close to death. A delay caused by another woman ended with Jairus’s friends coming to relay the news that his daughter had died, no need to continue to bother the teacher.

Jesus, being compassionate, reassured Jairus and went with him.

This delay gave Jairus a great opportunity to see what a MEAGER Faith can accomplish.

No matter how our circumstances look, no matter what other’s say, no matter how we feel; We should trust Jesus and His promises. Jairus was frightened – yet Jesus took command and raised the girl from the dead.

The Gospel teaches us we are saved by GRACE not by worth

A Broken Hope: A woman who for 12 years had been ill with a hemorrhage, a discharge of blood. Mark 5:26 informs us that this woman had tried many physicians, but none could help her. Imagine the despair and discouragement she felt. Her hopes were shattered. Because of this hemorrhage, the woman was ceremonially unclean (Lev. 15:25), which only added to her hopelessness, as she had no community.

It is interesting that Jairus and this woman – two opposite people – met at the feet of Jesus. Jairus was a leading Jewish man; she wan an anonymous woman, with no prestige or resources.

He was a synagogue leader, while her affliction kept her from worship. Jairus came pleading for his daughter; the woman had a need of her own. The girl had been healthy for 12 years and then died; the woman had been ill for 12 years and was now whole. Jairus’s need was public – all knew it; the woman’s need was private only Jesus understood. Both Jairus and the woman trusted Jesus, and He met their needs.

Jairus could have resented the woman, because she kept Jesus from getting to his daughter before she died. But his real problem was not the woman but himself. He needed faith in Christ. Jesus forced the woman to give her testimony (See Mark’s account, Mark 5:25-34) BOTH for her sake and for the sake of Jairus. The fact the God has helped others ought to encourage us to TRUST Him more.

We can wait for the Lord – knowing that He is never late.

The woman’s faith was almost superstitious, and yet, Jesus honored it and healed her. We (people) must “touch” Christ where we/they are able, sometimes the starting place is at the hem of His garment. The Pharisees enlarged their hems and tassels in order to appear more spiritual, but they lacked the power to heal (Matt. 23:5). Others touched the hem of Jesus’s garment and were also healed (Matt. 14:34-36).

The woman’s meager faith reminded me this week of the amount of physicians, therapists, and others I consulted with when I was lost in my addiction, under the deep waters of sexual abuse and trauma, injuring my self as to show on the outside what an “outcast” I was on the inside and without community. Time and time again I sought healing but was never healed. Time and time again I walked away with a false hope, one that would slip away…

Until I touched the hem of Christ’s garment.

It was scary at first, scary to trust in something I could not see, something that required a full trust, but would leave me healed.

Now looking back over all of these years I can see just how small my Faith started out and how Jesus honored that and healed me. For some things it was quick and immediate like the woman with the hemorrhage, for other things it took time and took me growing in my faith, like Jairus I needed to see and hear the testimony of others, to trust what I could not see. To turn away from how things “looked” or “felt” to me and to Trust in Jesus.

I don’t know what your fear is today, friend. Maybe your are praying for healing for someone else, like Jairus was with his daughter or maybe your like the Woman and have an ailment of your own. Whatever it is, reach out for Christ.

Come like Jairus or come in fear and trembling like the Woman. The Greek word for “made well” can mean either “heal” or “save”. God is the one who heals. “In this instance this Woman’s FAITH was the divinely appointed means for her bodily healing AND for her spiritual salvation.”(Warren Wiersbe).

For me, I needed both healing and salvation, God brought what was dead to life.

Jesus did not come to mix the law and grace, HE came with New Life.

Do not fear – only Believe… Jesus is the ONE who takes what is unclean and makes it clean, takes what is dead and brings it to New Life.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

When Sir James Simpson, the inventor of chloroform, was dying, a friend said to him, “You will soon be resting on His bosom.” The scientist replied: “I don’t know as I can do that, but I think I have hold of the hem of His garment.”

It is not the strength of our faith that saves us, but faith in a STRONG Savior.

May 26, 2025 0

Suffer Well

I started a study on the book of Hebrews at the beginning of January. I am currently a few months in and rounding out the last two chapters. Hebrews is such a theologically rich book that it has caused me to overlook or under-consider (is under-consider a word?) the books presentation of:

Jesus is enough and Jesus is always the answer

The last two months I have had some things come up that have given me a fresh comfort of this truth. This book has been a major balm to my soul and has increased my ability to abide in my relationship with Christ. When condemnation has came knocking on the doors of my memories and anxiety of the unknown has tried to shake me… these truths overcome!

“For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭2‬:‭18‬ ‭ESV‬

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Earlier this month I had a scare with some unexpected blood loss… I go to the doctor and get a referral to surgery, which I am waiting to be scheduled currently. At that same appointment, unexpectedly, the doctor found a large lump on each of my breasts. This month made exactly one year since my last breast cancer scare in which my faithful church family anointed and prayed for me.

“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.”
‭‭James‬ ‭5‬:‭14‬-‭15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

So now I wait on another mammogram and diagnostic imaging but I wait knowing God has been faithful in the past and I can trust He will be faithful again. Because I can trust Him, and know He is never changing, I can have peace in this messy place and I know if I suffer well – I will be rewarded in this trial.

Suffering for the Christian always presents the opportunity for discipline and growth.

“And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.””
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

This month I also had someone reach out to me relaying that my earthly dad would like my address so he can write to me. This is a person who I have had zero contact with for over 14 years. This person was abusive in every way possible and in the past has denied any contact with me, even contact for me to relay I had forgiven him and would always continue to pray for him. In an act of grace and mercy, I said yes and sent my address. I cannot know if this persons heart has changed or what their intention is… but I can have faith in trusting the Lord to see me through whatever may be on the other side of this.

And I can know that I continue to pray with faith that my dad would confess his sins to the Lord, be forgiven, become a changed man, and one day join the Saints in Heaven.

Jesus endured the suffering of this world because He knew the outcome was worth it. You were worth it, friend and I was worth it. Jesus willingly obeyed God by coming to this world and in turn, it resulted in the restoration and reunion of God’s children. Jesus knew there was eternal salvation waiting beyond the suffering of this life! The same is true for us.

Eternity with Jesus awaits us. So what about this suffering in the meantime? If we allow it, this too can have eternal purpose. Our suffering can become a means of God’s discipline… let’s define the word “discipline”.

Discipline here does not mean punishment. Jesus already took our punishment. (Isaiah 53:5) The Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible defines discipline as “Learning that molds character and enforces correct behavior; from a Latin word meaning instruction’ or ‘training.” Suffering can be a major means for us to learn, train and be molded into someone better. Much like using weights to discipline and condition our muscles, or using alarm clocks to discipline our use of time, if we let it, suffering can discipline our hearts toward empathy, compassion, understanding and more.

If you let Him, God can turn pain into something that will transform you and yield righteousness.

Friend, being a Christian does not mean that you will have a life free of pain and suffering BUT what it does mean is that: You have Jesus!

Jesus to cover you 🙌🏻
Jesus to walk beside you 🙌🏻
Jesus in the good times and the hard times 🙏
Turns out, He is more than enough ❤️