This is sort of a follow up to my previous post regarding my journey out of practicing syncretism and with it being October this word study felt timely.
There is an interesting Greek word in the New Testament that is worth slowing down over as we study Scriptureโs warnings about sorcery and occult practices. The word pharmakeia (ฯฮฑฯฮผฮฑฮบฮตฮฏฮฑ) appears in Galatians 5:20 and is commonly translated as โsorceryโ or โwitchcraft.โ It also appears in Revelation 9:21 and 18:23.
The word is related to pharmakon, which could refer to a drug, medicine, poison, or potion. In ancient contexts, substances and potions could be associated with magical or occult practices, which helps explain the connection between this family of words and sorcery. The Greek word is also related historically to our English word pharmacy. However, this does not mean that pharmakeia simply means taking drugs, that all medicines were associated with sorcery, or that the modern practice of pharmacy is inherently occult. We need to let the context of Scripture determine how the word is being used.
What makes Galatians 5 particularly important is that Paul doesnโt mention pharmakeia in isolation. He includes it in a larger list of what he calls the โworks of the fleshโ (Galatians 5:19โ21). This list includes sexual immorality, idolatry, sorcery, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, and other sinful practices. Paul is describing a way of life that is opposed to the life God calls His people to live.
But notice where Paul takes the discussion next.
In Galatians 5:16, he writes:
โBut I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.โ
After describing the works of the flesh, Paul contrasts them with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22โ23).
This connection is important because the Christian response to occult practices is not merely to identify what we must avoid. It is to turn toward God and learn to walk by His Spirit. Repentance involves turning away from what is contrary to Him, but the Christian life is not sustained by avoidance alone. We are called to grow in Christlikeness as the Spirit works in us.
When I look back on my own story, I can see why this distinction matters. I once looked to crystals and stones for energy and manifestation, used tarot cards to seek answers, and pursued spiritual guidance outside of what God has revealed in His Word. At the time, I believed I could combine those practices with my belief in Jesus. I didnโt understand that following Christ required me to reconsider not only what I believed but also where I was looking for wisdom, guidance, and spiritual power.
As I began sitting under the preaching and teaching of Scripture, I started to see these things differently. My response wasnโt supposed to be an ongoing fascination with the practices I was leaving behind. It was to turn toward Christ, trust His Word, and allow His truth to reshape how I lived.
That is the distinction I want us to understand. We do not become spiritually mature simply by learning to recognize everything we should avoid. We grow as we know God through His Word, depend on His Spirit, and increasingly bring our thoughts, desires, decisions, and actions under the lordship of Jesus Christ.
Paul brings this section of Galatians to a fitting conclusion:
โIf we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.โ โ Galatians 5:25
The goal isnโt to become fascinated with darkness or to spend our lives looking for it around every corner. The goal is to know Christ and walk faithfully with Him. As we grow in our understanding of Godโs Word, we learn to discern what is contrary to Him and to cultivate what honors Him.
For me, repentance began to take a tangible form when I gathered up the objects I had once considered spiritually meaningful and threw them away. But removing those objects was not the whole of the Christian life. It was one expression of a deeper change: I was learning that Jesus was not meant to be one spiritual authority among many in my life. He is Lord, and I am called to follow Him.
The question is not only, โWhat must I turn away from?โ It is also, โHow can I walk more faithfully with Christ?โ
There are passages of Scripture that we read and appreciate, and then there are passages that seem to reach across the pages of the Bible and meet us right where we are.
Acts 19:18โ20 is one of those passages for me.
I have read the account of the people in Ephesus who practiced magic and then brought their scrolls together and burned them, but the older I get in my faith, the more I understand why Luke included this detail. These people didnโt simply hear Paul preach, agree with what he said, and then continue living exactly as they had before. The Word of God confronted something in their lives, and their response was to repent and remove the things that belonged to their old way of life.
Luke writes:
โAlso many of those who were now believers came confessing and disclosing their practices. And a number of those who had practiced magic arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all. And they counted the value of them and found it came to fifty thousand pieces of silver. So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily.โ โ Acts 19:18โ20
For a long time, I thought I understood what it meant to believe in Jesus.
I believed in God. I believed Jesus was real. I would have told you that I was a Christian. But looking back, I can see that my understanding of Christianity was mixed with many other things. I was practicing what I now understand as syncretism: taking pieces of Christianity and combining them with other spiritual practices that I believed could give me knowledge, protection, power, guidance, or access to something beyond what I could see.
I didnโt understand at the time that these things were incompatible with following Christ.
I grew up knowing that the spiritual realm was real. There were things I experienced and witnessed in my childhood that I could not explain, and because of those experiences, I never really struggled with the idea that there was more to this world than what we can see. The problem was that I didnโt have a biblical framework for understanding any of it.
I knew there was a spiritual world, but I didnโt understand that Scripture teaches us to distinguish between what comes from God and what does not.
So I began looking in places I should never have looked.
There were crystals, stones, and gems that I believed carried energy or could help with manifestation. I had tarot cards that I used to look for answers about the future or ask questions and seek guidance from spirits. At one point I had an altar where I kept things that I associated with spiritual power, including parts of dead animals. During a particularly dark period of my life when I was struggling with self-harm, I even used my own blood on that altar while asking for particular things to happen to people who had hurt me.
I donโt share those details because I want to make the darkness sound interesting. I actually want to do the opposite.
I want to be careful about how we talk about these things because our culture has become very comfortable with spiritual practices that Scripture tells us to take seriously. What is sometimes presented as harmless, aesthetic, empowering, or even entertaining can become spiritually significant without us recognizing what we are participating in.
My story isnโt meant to make anyone curious about those things.
It is meant to show what happened when I finally began looking at them through the lens of Scripture.
When I Came Back to Church
When I came back to church as an adult, something began to change in me that I didnโt fully understand at first.
I started sitting under the preaching and teaching of Godโs Word in a way I never really had before. I wasnโt simply hearing encouraging messages. I was beginning to encounter Scripture as Godโs Word, with the authority to tell me what was true, what was false, what was holy, what was sinful, and what needed to change in my life.
The more I listened, the more I began to see things differently.
I had spent years believing that I could have Jesus and still hold onto these other spiritual practices. I thought I could believe in God while also looking to crystals for energy, tarot for answers, manifestation for outcomes, and spiritual experiences for guidance.
But Scripture doesnโt present Jesus as one spiritual option among many.
Jesus is Lord.
One of the passages that helped me understand this was Deuteronomy 18, where God specifically warned His people against practices such as divination, sorcery, interpreting omens, witchcraft, mediums, and consulting the dead. God wasnโt giving Israel a list of strange things they should be afraid of. He was teaching them where they were to look for guidance and where they were not.
The issue wasnโt whether there was a spiritual realm.
The issue was who God had told His people to trust.
Isaiah says something similar:
โAnd when they say to you, โInquire of the mediums and the necromancers who chirp and mutter,โ should not a people inquire of their God?โ โ Isaiah 8:19
That question is incredibly important.
Should not a people inquire of their God?
I began realizing that I had been looking for answers in places where God had never told me to look.
The Night I Cleaned Out My Closets
Eventually, the conviction became impossible for me to ignore.
I remember one night going through my closets and gathering these things up. It was the middle of the night, and I began pulling out the things I had accumulated over the years.
I threw them away.
Some of these things had cost me real money. They werenโt insignificant possessions that I had no attachment to. They were things I had intentionally purchased and kept because I believed they had some kind of spiritual significance.
But by that point, the question in my mind was no longer, โDo these things really work?โ
The question was, โDo these things belong in a life surrendered to Jesus?โ
And I knew the answer.
My husband was in complete shock.
We had argued about some of these things over the years. Eventually, he had essentially taken the position of agreeing to disagree with me. He knew how strongly I felt about them, and I knew how strongly he felt differently.
So when he saw me gathering everything up and getting rid of it, he couldnโt believe what he was seeing.
I remember telling him that I felt convicted by the Lord and that I needed to listen to the Spirit.
I didnโt have a perfectly developed theology of everything that was happening in that moment. I didnโt have all the answers. But I had begun to understand something that I hadnโt understood before:
If I belonged to Christ, I could not continue treating every spiritual practice as though it was compatible with Him.
So I got rid of it.
And I have never looked back.
The People in Ephesus
This is why Acts 19 means so much to me.
When Paul came to Ephesus, he reasoned with people from the Scriptures and taught them about the kingdom of God. The chapter tells us that his ministry continued for an extended period of time, and that God was doing extraordinary things through him.
There was also a dramatic confrontation involving some men who attempted to use the name of Jesus without actually belonging to Him. Their encounter exposed something important: the name of Jesus isnโt a spiritual formula that we manipulate to get power. Jesus is Lord, and His authority cannot be separated from relationship with Him.
And then we come to verses 18โ20.
Many who had believed came confessing what they had been doing. Those who had practiced magic brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly.
I love that Luke tells us what those scrolls were worth.
Fifty thousand pieces of silver.
Whatever the exact modern equivalent, Luke wants us to understand that this was not a meaningless sacrifice. These were valuable possessions.
They didnโt say, โWell, these cost a lot, so Iโll keep them even though I donโt use them.โ
They didnโt put them in a box in the attic.
They didnโt keep them around as a reminder of their past.
They burned them.
And I think there is something we need to understand about biblical repentance here.
Repentance is more than feeling bad about something.
It is more than admitting that something was wrong.
Repentance means turning.
Sometimes that turning requires us to make very practical changes in our lives.
For those believers in Ephesus, repentance meant getting rid of the things associated with their former practices. For me, it meant going through my closets in the middle of the night and throwing away the things I had once considered spiritually meaningful.
The objects werenโt the source of my salvation or the proof that I had truly repented. Christ was my salvation.
But getting rid of those things was one tangible expression of what God was doing in my heart.
I Didnโt Become Afraid of the Spiritual Realm
One of the things I want to make clear about my story is that I didnโt come away from this thinking that the spiritual realm wasnโt real.
Quite the opposite.
I already knew it was real.
What changed was the lens through which I understood it.
Before Christ became central in my life, I had treated the spiritual realm almost like a marketplace. There were good things and bad things, different kinds of spiritual power, different ways to gain knowledge, different sources of guidance, and different practices I could use depending on what I wanted.
But Scripture gave me a completely different framework.
There is one God.
He is Creator.
I am His creature.
Jesus Christ is Lord.
And I donโt need to search the spiritual world for power, knowledge, protection, identity, or guidance because God has already told me where to go.
His Word.
His presence.
His wisdom.
His people.
And ultimately, Christ Himself.
I donโt want my testimony to make people fascinated with the things I used to practice. I donโt want to describe my past in a way that makes darkness sound mysterious or powerful or exciting.
I want women to learn to look at the world through the lens of Scripture.
Because the spiritual danger isnโt only found in obvious things.
Sometimes it is hidden beneath something beautiful.
Sometimes it is packaged as self-care.
Sometimes it is called manifestation.
Sometimes it is entertainment.
Sometimes it is presented as harmless curiosity.
And sometimes we donโt recognize what we are participating in because we have never opened our Bibles and learned what God actually says about it.
What About the Things We Let Enter Our Homes?
This is where I think Acts 19 begins to challenge all of us.
We can read about the people of Ephesus and think, โWell, I donโt practice magic, so this doesnโt really apply to me.โ
But Scripture asks us to examine our hearts much more deeply than that.
What sources do I look to for guidance?
What do I believe will give me power or control?
Where do I go when I am afraid?
What am I trusting to protect me?
What do I believe will tell me what is going to happen?
What practices have I allowed into my life because they seemed harmless?
What entertainment has slowly taught me to become comfortable with things God calls us to reject?
What have I kept because it has sentimental value even though I know it doesnโt belong in my life with Christ?
These are questions meant to make us discerning.
Paul tells the believers in Corinth that they cannot have fellowship with the Lord while participating in what belongs to idolatry. Scripture consistently calls Godโs people to distinguish between what belongs to Him and what does not.
That doesnโt mean Christians should live terrified of everything around them.
It means we should live with our eyes open.
We donโt need to become fascinated with darkness in order to recognize it.
We need to know the light.
When the Word Confronts Us
One of the things I love about Acts 19 is that the people werenโt simply given a list of rules.
They encountered the Word of God.
And when the Word confronted them, they responded.
That is what happened to me.
I didnโt wake up one morning and decide that I needed to completely change my spiritual worldview because I had become particularly disciplined or wise.
God used His Word.
He allowed me to sit under preaching and teaching, and slowly I began to see what I hadnโt seen before.
That is why I have become so passionate about studying Scripture.
The Bible doesnโt simply give us information about God.
It teaches us how to see everything else.
It gives us a framework for understanding ourselves, the world around us, suffering, temptation, sin, relationships, culture, our bodies, our families, and even the unseen spiritual realities that Scripture tells us exist.
The more we know Godโs Word, the less dependent we become on our own feelings and experiences to determine what is true.
And that matters because my experiences were real to me, but my experiences could not be my authority.
Scripture had to be.
Behold Christ
This is where I want us to end, because the point of Acts 19 isnโt really the books.
It is Jesus.
The people of Ephesus werenโt saved because they burned their scrolls. They burned their scrolls because they had come to believe in Christ and their allegiance to Him changed what they were willing to keep.
Christianity isnโt primarily about cleaning up our lives so that we can become acceptable to God.
It is about being reconciled to God through Jesus Christ and then allowing His lordship to change everything.
There were many things I needed to leave behind when I came to Christ.
But what I gained was infinitely greater.
I didnโt lose access to spiritual power.
I found the One who has all authority.
I didnโt lose the ability to seek answers.
I found the One who is Truth.
I didnโt lose protection.
I found the One who is my refuge.
I didnโt lose my connection to the spiritual world.
I found the God who created both the seen and the unseen and who has authority over them all.
And that is why Acts 19:20 is such a beautiful ending to this story:
โSo the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily.โ
The books were burned.
But the Word remained.
And the Word prevailed.
Maybe your story looks nothing like mine.
Maybe you have never owned tarot cards or crystals. Maybe you have never participated in anything you would have called occult or spiritual.
But I would still encourage you to sit with Acts 19 for a while.
Ask the Lord to search your heart.
Are there things you have been trying to hold alongside Christ?
Are there places you are looking for guidance that God has not given you permission to look?
Are there practices you have accepted because our culture has made them seem harmless?
Are there things in your home, your entertainment, your habits, or your thinking that the Holy Spirit has been bringing to your attention?
And if He does bring something to mind, donโt respond with shame.
Respond with repentance.
You donโt have to be fascinated with what you are leaving behind.
You donโt have to understand every detail of it.
You donโt have to become an expert on darkness.
You simply need to know Christ and trust His Word.
There was a night when I went through my closets and threw away things that I once believed were spiritually meaningful.
I didnโt know then that years later I would look back on that night and see Acts 19 in it.
But now I do.
And I am grateful that the Lord loved me enough to let His Word confront me.
Because the greatest thing that happened wasnโt that I threw away some books, cards, stones, or objects.
The greatest thing that happened was that I began to understand that Jesus was not meant to be one part of my spirituality.
He was calling me to Himself.
Come Study With Me
Read: Acts 19:8โ20 Study: Deuteronomy 18:9โ14; Isaiah 8:19โ20; 1 Corinthians 10:20โ21 Ask: What does this passage teach me about repentance? What does it reveal about where I seek guidance and authority? Examine: Is there anything I am attempting to hold alongside Christ? Behold: Jesus is Lord over both the seen and unseen. Respond: Repent where God convicts, remove what needs to be removed, and trust Christ completely.
As I have been reading through Leviticus, I have found myself thinking about something that may seem like an unlikely theme to pull from a book filled with sacrifices:
Godโs heart for animals.
For some of us, the sacrificial system can be difficult to read.
If you have a tender heart toward animals, it can be uncomfortable to picture animal after animal being brought to the altar, its life given as part of Israelโs worship.
But as I continued reading, I began to notice somethingโฆ
The fact that God required animals to be used in Israelโs sacrificial system does not mean that God did not value them.
Quite the opposite.
When we step back and look at the whole story of Scripture, we see a God who repeatedly demonstrates His care for His creation.
Even in the Garden
After Adam and Eve sinned, their shame became immediately apparent.
They recognized their nakedness and attempted to cover themselves.
But Genesis 3:21 tells us:
โAnd the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.โ
This is the first recorded place where an animalโs death is connected with covering the shame of humanity.
And what a sobering picture that is.
Sin brought death into the world, and creation would bear the consequences of humanityโs rebellion.
The animal did nothing wrong. And yet humanityโs sin affected the created order.
Romans 8 would later describe creation itself as groaning under the consequences of the Fall.
That means when we encounter animals dying in the sacrificial system, we should not necessarily see a God who is indifferent toward animal life.
We are seeing a world broken by sin.
And God is teaching His people something about the seriousness of sin, the cost of death, and the need for atonement.
God Put Boundaries Around the Sacrifice
Then we arrive at Leviticus.
And something caught my attention in Leviticus 22:27โ28.
God gives instructions concerning animals that are being brought for sacrifice.
The young animal was not to be offered until it had been with its mother for seven days.
And then God says:
โWhether the cow or a ewe, you shall not kill it and its young in one day.โ
Even within the sacrificial system, God established boundaries concerning how His people were to treat animals.
God wasnโt simply saying, โThese animals exist for you to use however you please.โ
He was teaching Israel to recognize that life belongs to Him.
There was reverence even in the way an animal was handled.
There were limits and there was restraint.
There was a recognition that Godโs people were stewards rather than owners in the ultimate sense.
God Remembered the Animals on the Ark
Think about Noah.
When God judged the world through the flood, He didnโt simply preserve Noah and his family.
He preserved the animals.
Genesis 8 tells us that Noah eventually built an altar and offered burnt offerings from the clean animals and birds that God had preserved.
Then, in Genesis 9, when God establishes His covenant with Noah, the covenant isnโt described as being exclusively with humanity.
It includes the living creatures.
โBehold, I establish my covenant with you and your offspring after you, and with every living creature that is with you.โ โ Genesis 9:9โ10
That is remarkable.
Godโs covenant concern reaches beyond human beings.
His creation matters to Him.
Even Jonah Ends With the Animals
One of my favorite examples is one we can easily read right past, I know I did!
The book of Jonah ends with God confronting Jonahโs heart.
Jonah is angry that God has shown mercy to Nineveh.
And God responds:
โAnd should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 personsโฆ and also much cattle?โ โ Jonah 4:11
Even the cattle are mentioned. This literally brought tears to my eyes.
Godโs compassion encompasses His creation.
Jonah wanted destruction.
God wanted mercy.
And when God explains His concern for Nineveh, the animals are part of the picture.
I love that.
God Teaches His People to Be Gentle
Deuteronomy gives another beautiful example.
In Deuteronomy 22:6โ7, God instructs Israel concerning a mother bird and her young.
If someone came across a birdโs nest with the mother sitting over her young or eggs, they were not simply to take everything.
They were to let the mother go.
Again, there is restraint.
There is wisdom.
There is care.
God was teaching His people that dominion does not mean cruelty.
Having authority over creation does not give us permission to treat creation carelessly.
We are stewards of what belongs to God.
โEvery Beast of the Forest Is Mineโ
Psalm 50 gives us another glimpse into Godโs ownership:
โFor every beast of the forest is mine,โจthe cattle on a thousand hills.โจI know all the birds of the hills,โจand all that moves in the field is mine.โ โ Psalm 50:10โ11
God doesnโt merely know about the animals.
He says:
โI know.โ
They belong to Him.
And when Jesus teaches His disciples not to be anxious about their lives, He points them toward the birds:
โLook at the birds of the air.โ โ Matthew 6:26
If our heavenly Father cares for the birds, how much more does He care for His children?
Jesus uses Godโs care for creation to teach us something about the character of our Father.
And Then Isaiah Gives Us a Glimpse of the World to Come
And this is where one of my favorite passages in Scripture comes in.
Isaiah 11.
The prophet gives us this breathtaking picture:
โThe wolf shall dwell with the lamb,โจand the leopard shall lie down with the young goat,โจand the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together;โจand a little child shall lead them.โ
Then:
โThe cow and the bear shall graze;โจtheir young shall lie down together;โจand the lion shall eat straw like the ox.โ
And then perhaps one of the most tender images:
โThe nursing child shall play over the hole of the cobra,โจand the weaned child shall put his hand on the adderโs den.โ
And Scripture tells us why.
โThey shall not hurt or destroyโจin all my holy mountain;โจfor the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORDโจas the waters cover the sea.โ โ Isaiah 11:9
This isnโt merely a beautiful picture of animals.
It is a picture of creation restored under the reign of the Messiah.
The violence and disorder introduced through the Fall do not have the final word.
Jesus does.
And This Makes Me Think of my son Jackson
This part is especially personal for me.
One of the greatest ways I have learned to connect my sonโs heart to the heart of God has been through animals.
Jacksonโs autism has created some limitations in the way he connects with other people. There are things about communication and relationships that can be difficult for him.
But his connection with animals has always been different.
It is deep.
And over the years, I have watched something beautiful happen.
Again and again, a new interest in an animal has become the beginning of a new door into learning.
A desire to care for an animal.
A desire to understand an animal.
A desire to be near an animal.
A fascination with what an animal eats or where it lives or what it needs.
And somehow, through that little creature God made, another door opens.
A connection happens.
A new question comes.
A new word.
A new understanding.
A new opportunity to teach him about responsibility, gentleness, compassion, stewardship, and the goodness of his Creator.
So many of Jacksonโs breakthroughs have begun this way.
With an animal.
Really that shouldnโt surprise me.
Because the God who created Jackson also created the animals he loves.
The God who knows the birds knows my son.
The God who preserved the animals through the flood knows what it means to care for His creation.
The God who told Israel not to take a mother bird along with her young teaches us that compassion is not beneath holiness.
And the God who promises a day when creation will no longer hurt and destroy is the same God who is patiently teaching my little boy to love what He has made.
What a gift.
Holiness and Compassion Belong Together
It can be tempting to read the sacrificial system and think only about blood, death, and ritual.
But underneath these instructions is a God teaching His people how to live in relationship with Him.
Holiness matters.
Life matters.
Sacrifice matters.
Creation matters.
Compassion matters.
Stewardship matters.
And ultimately, all of these things tell us something about the God who made them.
The sacrificial system reminds us that sin is serious and that approaching a holy God is not something to take lightly.
But the instructions concerning the animals remind us that the God who requires sacrifice is not cruel.
He is the Creator.
Every creature belongs to Him.
And when we finally arrive at Christ, we see the fullest expression of both His holiness and His compassion.
Jesus does not treat life casually.
He gives His own.
The spotless Lamb gives Himself.
And through His sacrifice, He begins the work of restoring what sin shattered.
The Lamb and the Restoration of All Things
There is something almost breathtaking about the fact that Scriptureโs story begins with creation suffering because of sinโฆ
and ends with creation being restored under the reign of God.
We begin with a garden.
We end with a renewed creation.
We begin with death entering the world.
We end with death defeated.
We begin with humanity hiding in shame.
We end with Godโs people dwelling with Him.
And in the middle stands the Lamb.
Jesus.
The One through whom all things were created.
The One who cares for His creation.
The One who became flesh.
The One who gave His life.
The One who was sacrificed for sinners.
And the One who will ultimately make all things new.
So the next time I read about an animal being brought to the altar, I donโt want to see only the difficulty of the sacrifice.
I want to remember the larger story.
Sin brought death into Godโs good creation.
God taught His people to take life seriously.
God placed boundaries around how His creatures were treated.
God cared for animals throughout Scripture.
And one day, under the reign of the King, Isaiah tells us:
โThey shall not hurt or destroyโฆโ
What an incredible promise.
What an incredible God.
And what a gift that He would use something as simple as an animal to teach a little boyโand his mamaโmore about His heart.
The God who made them cares for them.
And perhaps, through learning to care for what He has made, we learn a little more about how to reflect the heart of the One who made us all.
In 1929, the Soviet Union introduced what became known as the โcontinuous working weekโ (nepreryvka). The goal was to keep factories operating continuously and maximize industrial productivity. Instead of everyone sharing the same weekly day of rest, workers were divided into groups and assigned different days off. Four days of work were followed by one day of rest, but because everyoneโs schedule was staggered, the factory could keep operating every day.
The system created an unexpectedโand deeply humanโproblem.
Families and friends often no longer had the same day off.
A husband might have Tuesday off while his wife had Friday. Parents and children could have different schedules. Communities lost a common rhythm of rest and gathering. The arrangement also made participation in religious worship more difficult, particularly because the traditional Sunday rest had been eliminated.
The experiment ultimately failed. In 1931, the Soviet government replaced the five-day system with a six-day work cycle, and in 1940 the traditional seven-day week was restored.
Why does this matter when reading Scripture?
Because Sabbath was never merely about stopping work.
God established a rhythm of work, rest, worship, community, and remembrance.
The Sabbath created a shared rhythm for Godโs people.
It reminded Israel:
We are not machines.โจOur worth is not measured by our productivity.โจGod is our provider.โจRest is a gift.โจWorship matters.โจCommunity matters.
The Soviet experiment tried to organize human beings around continuous production.
God built a rhythm into His covenant people that reminded them they belonged first to Him.
โRemember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.โ โ Exodus 20:8
And perhaps that gives us another reason to slow down when we read Leviticus.
God was not merely giving Israel a list of strange regulations.
He was teaching them how to live as His people in His presence.
Even their calendar was meant to remind them who they belonged to.
This little historical story paired with my Sabbath readings really gave me a lot to chew on in a way I did not expectโฆ it caused me to ask myself, How does my calendar reflect the things that are important to me? Does my calendar look like the worldโs calendar, does my family rhythm reflect that we are a people set apart? Or are we busy to just be busy?
๐ฟ โ A Note to Remember
God did not create us for endless production.โจHe created us for Himself.
Yesterday, Jackson had a neuropsychological evaluation.
His autism diagnosis was not new. He has been diagnosed with autism since he was two, and that has been a consistent part of our understanding of him.
What was new was a diagnosis of intellectual disability.
I had wondered about this possibility because, as Jackson has grown, I have noticed areas of executive functioning, learning, problem-solving, and adaptive functioning that seem different from what I would expect for his chronological age. Still, hearing a new diagnosis attached to your child is a different experience than simply wondering about something.
My heart is heavy.
Not because I believe this diagnosis makes Jackson less capable or less valuable. It doesnโt.
But because as his mother, I immediately start thinking about his future.
Will people understand him?
Will he have lasting friendships?
Will he find places where he belongs?
Will he receive the accommodations and support he needsโor will people assume he doesnโt need enough help because his challenges arenโt considered โsevereโ?
I think this is one of the most misunderstood things about developmental disabilities.
Autism and intellectual disability are not the same thing.
Autism primarily involves differences in social communication and interaction, along with restricted or repetitive behaviors, interests, or sensory experiences.
Intellectual disability involves significant limitations in intellectual functioning and adaptive functioningโthings like learning, reasoning, problem-solving, communication, and managing everyday life.
You can have autism without intellectual disability.
You can have intellectual disability without autism.
And you can have both.
And perhaps most importantly:
Communication ability and intellectual ability are not the same thing.
A person can be non-speaking and understand much more than they can communicate. A person can have significant sensory or social challenges and have average or above-average intellectual ability. And a person with intellectual disability may have strengths and abilities that arenโt captured well by a standardized test.
That distinction matters because a diagnosis is supposed to help us understand what support a person needs, not determine their worth or write their future for them.
And this is where my heart has been wrestling.
Jackson is getting older.
He is too big to simply be included with much younger children, but developmentally he may not yet be ready to participate in the same way as many children his age.
Weโve seen glimpses of this already.
The last two Sundays at church, Jackson tried to engage groups of older boys. He approached them because he wanted to play. But they backed away awkwardly or simply told him, โNo, I donโt want to play with you,โ and walked away.
Iโm sure those boys werenโt trying to wound him.
They probably didnโt know what to do.
But I was his mother, standing there watching my child reach for friendship and not quite know how to bridge the gap.
And that hurts.
It makes me think about the spaces Jackson will encounter throughout his life where he may be too old for one group, but not developmentally ready for another.
Where does a child belong when the world has categories for age, but development doesnโt always follow those categories?
Where does he fit when he needs more support than some people realize, but doesnโt fit the picture people have in their minds of someone with a โsevereโ disability?
Those are questions Iโm still learning how to answer.
But there is something I want to remind myselfโand perhaps another parent needs to hear it too:
Diagnoses arenโt prophecy.
A diagnosis describes something important about a personโs functioning today.
It can help us understand.
It can help us advocate.
It can help us access accommodations.
It can help us stop blaming a child for something that isnโt simply a matter of trying harder.
But it does not tell me everything about Jacksonโs future.
It doesnโt tell me what relationships he will have.
It doesnโt tell me what he will learn.
It doesnโt tell me what strengths will emerge.
It doesnโt tell me who will love him.
And it certainly doesnโt tell me what God intends to do with his life.
The evaluation may give us information about Jackson that we didnโt have before.
It doesnโt give us a prophecy.
And I am grateful that God knows the whole story when I can only see the next page.
He knows every part of Jacksonโthe things the evaluation measured and the things no evaluation could ever measure.
He knows what Jackson understands when he canโt communicate it.
He knows the desires of his heart.
He knows the friendships he will have.
He knows where Jackson will struggle and where he will flourish.
He knows what support Jackson will need.
And He knows the future.
So today, Iโm allowing myself to feel the heaviness.
Iโm also grateful.
Grateful that we have more information.
Grateful that we can better understand how Jackson learns and functions.
Grateful that there were no additional diagnoses, including ADHD.
Grateful that his evaluation did not paint the severe picture my fearful heart sometimes imagines.
And grateful that a diagnosis gives us another tool to advocate for our son.
Most of all, Iโm reminding myself:
Jackson is not his diagnoses.
He is not a score.
He is not a developmental age.
He is not a list of limitations.
He is my son.
And he is fearfully and wonderfully made.
โFor you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my motherโs womb.โ โ Psalm 139:13
So we will keep learning.
We will keep advocating.
We will keep making room for him.
We will keep looking for ways to help him communicate, connect, learn, and belong.
And when I canโt see what comes next, I will remind myself:
Nothing about Jackson is a mystery to God.
โThe LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts.โ โ Psalm 28:7
Diagnoses arenโt prophecy.โจThey are information.โจAnd information can help us build better support for the child God has already entrusted to us.
What Leviticus 21โ22, David, and the Gospel Teach Us About Holiness, Grace, and Belonging
A Note Before We Begin
As I have been studying through Leviticus 21โ22, I have found myself slowing down over some passages that can be difficult for modern readers to hear.
The Lord gives Moses instructions concerning the descendants of Aaron who would serve as priests. Among those instructions, we read that a priest with certain physical blemishes or disabilities was not to approach the altar to offer the Lordโs food offerings or go through the veil.
At first glance, these passages can be jarring.
And because of that, I think we need to slow down and let the text say what it actually says rather than allowing our first reaction to determine what we believe it means.
Leviticus 21 is not teaching that a person with a disability is less valuable, less loved, or somehow unacceptable to God.
The restriction concerns the priestly function of approaching the altar and performing particular sacred duties.
In fact, there is a detail in this passage that is easy to miss.
The priest who had a physical blemish was still permitted to eat the bread of his God, both the most holy and the holy things (Leviticus 21:22).
He was restricted from performing a particular priestly function.
He was not cast away from Godโs provision – This to me reveals the heart of our God.
The priesthood and sacrificial system communicated through visible, tangible realities. The sacrifices were to be without blemish. The priests who approached the altar were given corresponding physical qualifications. These requirements belonged to the symbolic language of Israelโs worship and helped communicate the holiness, completeness, and sacredness of the work being performed.
The priesthood was pointing beyond itself.
Hebrews tells us that Jesus is our perfect High Priest:
โHoly, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens.โ โ Hebrews 7:26
What Israelโs priesthood could only imperfectly portray, Christ fulfills completely.
And yet, as I sat with these passages, I kept thinking about someone else.
Mephibosheth.
And that is where this study took me next.
A Man Who Was Far Off
Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan and the grandson of Saul.
When he was five years old, news came that Saul and Jonathan had died in battle. His nurse picked him up and fled, but in the process he fell and became disabled in both feet (2 Samuel 4:4).
Years later, David became king.
And David did something unexpected.
He asked:
โIs there still anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathanโs sake?โ โ 2 Samuel 9:1
Eventually David learns about Mephibosheth.
And Mephibosheth is brought before the king.
Imagine what that must have felt like.
He was the grandson of Saul, the former king. His father, Jonathan, was dead. His grandfather was dead. He was living in Lo-debar, far from the center of the kingdom.
And now he was being summoned into the presence of David.
He falls on his face.
David tells him not to be afraid.
Then David gives him something he could never have secured for himself:
his inheritance.
David restores to Mephibosheth all the land that had belonged to Saul.
But David doesnโt stop there.
He says:
โYou shall eat at my table always.โ โ 2 Samuel 9:7
And the text repeats the picture:
โSo Mephibosheth ate at Davidโs table, like one of the kingโs sons.โ โ 2 Samuel 9:11
That is the part that stopped me.
Because Mephibosheth did not walk into the kingโs presence because he had made himself worthy.
He didnโt restore his own inheritance.
He didnโt earn his invitation.
He didnโt change the condition of his feet before he was welcomed.
The king extended kindness to him.
Holiness Matters
At this point, it would be easy to make the story of Mephibosheth into a simple illustration about acceptance. However, Leviticus is teaching us something we desperately need to remember:
Holiness matters.
God is holy.
His presence is holy.
His worship is holy.
His sacrifices are holy.
His priesthood is holy.
And approaching Him is not something to be treated casually.
Leviticus 21โ22 reminds Israel that the things associated with Godโs presence were not ordinary things.
The priests were not ordinary representatives.
The sacrifices were not ordinary meals.
The altar was not an ordinary place.
God was teaching His people through physical realities that He is holy.
And that holiness ultimately points us toward Christ.
The priests of Israel were not the final answer.
The sacrifices were not the final answer.
The earthly tabernacle was not the final answer.
They were shadows and signs pointing forward to the One who would perfectly fulfill what they could only portray.
Jesus is the spotless sacrifice.
Jesus is the perfect High Priest.
Jesus is holy, undefiled, and without sin.
And because of Him, something extraordinary happens.
From Far Off to Near
Paul writes to the Ephesians:
โBut now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.โ โ Ephesians 2:13
There it is.
Far off.
Brought near.
That language ignites a fire within me as I reflect on the profound movement we’ve witnessed throughout Scripture!
Genesis introduces the problem.
Exodus establishes Godโs presence among His people.
Leviticus teaches Israel how to live in the presence of a holy God.
And then, throughout the rest of Scripture, we begin to see Godโs redemptive plan unfold until we arrive at Christ.
The God who dwells among His people makes a way for sinners to draw near.
Not because we have made ourselves clean.
Not because we have made ourselves worthy.
Not because we have repaired everything that is broken.
But because Christ has made a way.
Paul says that those who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.
That is not sentimental language.
It is sacrificial language.
It takes us right back to the world of Leviticus.
Blood mattered because life mattered.
Sacrifice mattered because sin mattered.
Holiness mattered because God Himself is holy.
And all of those things ultimately point us toward Jesus.
A King Who Welcomes the Unworthy
This is where I think 2 Samuel 9 becomes such a beautiful companion to what we are seeing in Leviticus.
I donโt mean that Mephibosheth is a direct prophecy of Jesus.
Scripture doesnโt tell us to read the story that way.
And I donโt want to force a connection simply because it makes for a beautiful illustration.
But Scripture does allow us to trace themes.
And one of those themes is gracious welcome.
Mephibosheth comes before the king knowing he has nothing to offer.
At one point he even describes himself as a โdead dogโ (2 Samuel 9:8).
Yet David restores what was lost and gives him a permanent place at his table.
There is something profoundly beautiful about that picture.
The kingโs kindness creates belonging.
And that makes me think again about the difficult passage in Leviticus.
The priest with a physical blemish was not worthless.
He was not beyond Godโs provision.
He was still permitted to eat the holy things.
His restriction concerned his priestly function.
And Mephiboshethโs disability did not prevent him from being welcomed to the kingโs table.
These truths belong together.
Holiness does not mean that people with disabilities are less valuable.
And grace does not mean that holiness doesnโt matter.
Both are true.
God is holy.
And God is gracious.
The Table
There is something about a table that communicates belonging.
To eat at someoneโs table is to be welcomed.
To have a place at the table is to belong.
And David doesnโt merely tell Mephibosheth that he may visit.
He says:
โYou shall eat at my table always.โ
And the narrator emphasizes it again:
โLike one of the kingโs sons.โ
Mephiboshethโs identity at the table was no longer defined by what he had lost.
He was defined by the kindness that had been extended to him.
And this is where my thoughts eventually move from David to Christ.
Because the gospel tells us that we, too, were once far off.
We were separated from God.
We could not make ourselves worthy of His presence.
We could not repair the breach ourselves.
But God did what we could not do.
Christ brought us near.
A Better High Priest
Leviticus teaches us to take holiness seriously.
Hebrews teaches us why.
The priests of Israel were imperfect.
Their sacrifices had to be repeated.
Their service was temporary.
But Jesus is different.
He is the perfect High Priest.
He does not need to offer sacrifice for His own sin.
He does not need to repeat His sacrifice.
He does not enter an earthly sanctuary that will eventually pass away.
He enters the true presence of God on our behalf.
And His sacrifice is sufficient.
The spotless Lamb became the sacrifice.
The perfect High Priest offered Himself.
And through His blood, those who were far off are brought near.
That changes everything.
From the Kingโs Table to the Great Banquet
The Bible begins with humanity separated from God because of sin.
But Scripture doesnโt end there.
It ends with Godโs people dwelling with Him.
And the language of Scripture eventually brings us to another table.
A greater banquet.
Revelation 19:9 says:
โBlessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.โ
The invitation is not something we earned.
It is grace.
The table is not something we built.
The King prepared it.
And the One who makes our invitation possible is the Lamb who was slain.
This is why I donโt want to rush past the difficult passages in Leviticus.
They teach us something precious.
Godโs holiness is not a small thing.
His presence is not casual.
Sin is not insignificant.
Sacrifice is not meaningless.
The Scriptures are the story of a holy God making a way to bring His people near.
Come Near
Maybe that is the question I am left with after studying these passages:
Do I really understand what it means that I have been brought near?
We can become so familiar with the language of Christianity that we forget how astonishing it is.
I was far off.
You were far off.
And Christ brought us near.
Not through our goodness.
Not through our religious performance.
Not through our ability to make ourselves whole.
By His blood.
That is grace.
And perhaps this is part of what makes the story of Mephibosheth so beautiful.
He didnโt have to become worthy of the table before he could sit at it.
The kingโs kindness gave him a place.
And while Davidโs table was only a small picture within the larger story of Scripture, it gives us a glimpse of something wonderful:
There is a King who welcomes the undeserving.
There is a King who restores what was lost.
There is a King who brings the far-off near.
And there is a King who has prepared a table that will never end.
So let us not diminish holiness.
Let us not minimize sin.
Let us not make the cross small.
Instead, let the holiness of God make the grace of God even more astonishing.
Because the greater our understanding of Godโs holiness, the greater our wonder should be that He has made a way for us to come near.
And one day, by the grace of Christ, we will see the fulfillment of it all.
This morning, I found myself especially grateful for Paulโs honesty.
In Philippians 3:12, he says:
โNot that I have already obtained this or am already perfectโฆโ
Paul admits that he hasnโt arrived.
I donโt know about you, but I find that incredibly encouraging.
Sometimes we can think that following Jesus means we should eventually have everything figured out. That if weโve been Christians long enough, we should be past the struggle, past the weakness, past the areas where God is still working on us.
But Paul, one of the greatest apostles who ever lived, says essentially, Iโm not there yet.
Neither am I.
When we come to Christ, we receive salvation by grace. But salvation isnโt the end of our journey; itโs the beginning of a lifelong process of becoming more like Christ.
We strive toward holiness, not salvation.
We arenโt working so that Christ will choose us. We pursue Him because He has already made us His own.
Paul uses the Greek word teleios (ฯฮญฮปฮตฮนฮฟฯ) for โperfectโ in verse 12. The word can mean complete, mature, or brought toward an intended goal.
Then Paul uses that same word again in verse 15:
โLet those of us who are mature think this wayโฆโ
Thereโs something wonderfully humbling about that.
One mark of Christian maturity is recognizing that we havenโt arrived.
There is still more of Christ to know, more holiness to pursue, more sin to put to death, and more grace to receive.
Paulโs confidence isnโt in how far he has come.
His confidence is in Christ, who has already taken hold of him.
Paul continues:
โBut one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies aheadโฆโ
Paul had a lot behind him.
He had religious credentials, accomplishments, zeal, suffering, and failures. Earlier in this chapter, he lays out his impressive Jewish rรฉsumรฉ and then calls it loss compared with the surpassing worth of knowing Christ.
He refused to allow either his accomplishments or his failures to become the place where he lived.
Sometimes what lies behind us is shame. Sometimes itโs grief. Sometimes itโs success. Sometimes itโs the version of ourselves we wish we could get back. And sometimes itโs simply everything weโve already carried.
Paul doesnโt pretend the past didnโt happen.
He simply refuses to let it determine the direction heโs going.
His eyes are forward.
The Greek word Paul uses for โstraining forwardโ gives us the picture of a runner stretching toward the finish line.
William Barclay describes it as a racer going hard for the finishing line, with his eyes fixed on the goal.
Paul says:
โI press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.โ
The prize is not simply getting through our present circumstances.
The prize is Christ and the fullness of life with Him.
Scripture gives us glimpses of what awaits us: an imperishable inheritance, the kingdom prepared for Godโs people, and the day when death, mourning, crying, and pain will be no more.
That is where weโre headed.
And knowing where weโre going changes how we walk through where we are.
This Week Has Felt Heavy
This passage felt especially personal to me this morning because this last week has been a lot.
I lost a dear friend who leaves children behind, and my heart has been breaking for them.
I spent part of the week walking through an incredibly difficult trial connected to one of the children I advocate for.
Then my mom ended up in the emergency room, and Iโve needed to stay close by, helping with medications and keeping an eye on things while also continuing to care for everything at home.
And life at home hasnโt exactly slowed down.
For my son, difficult events often show up later through increased anxiety and a greater need for control. After the hospital visit, weโve been navigating some of those things tooโdifficulty focusing, increased activity, changes in eating, and struggles around routines.
Itโs been a full week.
And honestly, Iโm tired.
Iโm someone who can usually carry a lot. But there is a difference between being strong and being exhausted.
This week has reminded me that Iโm not perfect. Iโm still being sanctified, and Iโm still learning what it means to trust Christ in difficult places.
Thatโs one reason Paulโs words meant so much to me this morning.
He doesnโt tell us that mature Christians never struggle. He shows us what it looks like to remain focused on Christ while we are still struggling.
One thing that has kept me anchored through this week is simply getting up and opening my Bible.
Not because every morning has felt profound. Sometimes it has simply been obedience. Sometimes it has been the only quiet moment I could find.
But I keep coming back because I know where my strength comes from.
โThe joy of the Lord is your strengthโ (Nehemiah 8:10).
My circumstances arenโt necessarily joyful right now.
But Christ is still faithful.
And that gives me a hope the world cannot offer.
We donโt suffer as people who have no hope.
We grieve, but not without hope.
We hurt, but not without Christ.
We become exhausted, but we are not abandoned.
Iโve found myself thinking often this week about the words at the end of Revelation:
โSurely I am coming soon.โ
And Johnโs response:
โAmen. Come, Lord Jesus!โ
There are days when I understand that prayer more deeply than others.
I long for the day when there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more death, and no more brokenness.
But until that day comes, I want to be found faithful.
Paul says in Philippians 4:11:
โI have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.โ
I love that word: learned.
Contentment wasnโt something Paul simply possessed.
He learned it.
And Iโm still learning it tooโฆ
Maybe thatโs why Philippians 3 has been so timely for me.
Paulโs identity wasnโt ultimately defined by his accomplishments, his suffering, his failures, or his circumstances.
His identity was rooted in Christ. And mine is too.
Who I am isnโt ultimately determined by what has happened to me.
It isnโt determined by what I accomplish or by the season Iโm walking through.
Who I am is based on whose I am.
I belong to Christ.
And because I belong to Christ, I can face the next thing in front of me without having to pretend that Iโm strong enough for all of it.
Paul doesnโt tell us to press on because weโre strong. He tells us to press on because Christ has already made us His own.
We arenโt running to prove ourselves worthy or to earn salvation. Weโre running toward the One who pursued us first.
So when the road feels heavy, we fix our eyes on Christ.
When the past tries to define us, we look ahead.
When suffering exhausts us, we remember the prize.
We havenโt arrived.
But Christ has made us His own, and He will bring us safely to the goal.
One day, the race will be finished.
The tears will be gone.
The suffering will be over.
And we will finally see the One toward whom we have been running all along.
As we study Leviticus 11, one thing becomes clear: the distinction between clean and unclean did not begin with Moses.
In Genesis 7:2, Noah already knows the distinction between clean and unclean animals. In Genesis 8:20, he offers clean animals and birds to the LORD.
Then, in Exodus, God forms Israel as His covenant people and establishes His dwelling place among them. In Leviticus, He gives increasingly specific instructions concerning sacrifice, purity, priesthood, holiness, and food.
Deuteronomy later reiterates many of these dietary distinctions.
The pattern is unfolding:
Genesis โ Exodus โ Leviticus โ Deuteronomy
God progressively reveals what it means for His covenant people to live in relationship with a holy God.
But what does โcleanโ actually mean?
This is important:
Unclean does not automatically mean sinful.
Something could be ritually unclean without being morally sinful.
Likewise, something could be clean without being holy.
These categories help us understand Leviticus more carefully:
Holy โ clean Clean โ not necessarily holy Unclean โ not necessarily sinful Sinful โ never holy or clean
The purity laws were teaching Israel to recognize distinctions and boundaries as they lived in the presence of a holy God.
Then Jesus changes the conversation.
Jesus teaches that defilement is not ultimately about what enters a person from the outside, but what comes from the heart (Mark 7:14โ23).
In Acts 10, Peter receives a vision involving animals previously considered unclean. God tells him:
โWhat God has made clean, do not call common.โ
Peter comes to understand that the vision reaches beyond food. God was showing him that Gentiles were not to be considered spiritually unclean or excluded from Godโs people.
Through Christ, the ceremonial boundaries that once distinguished Israel from the nations are fulfilled and transformed.
And this is where the story becomes beautiful.
Jesus doesnโt simply make food clean.
Jesus makes people clean.
He doesnโt merely provide another ritual washing.
He gives living water.
โIf anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.โ โ John 7:37
He doesnโt simply give bread to sustain physical life.
He is the Bread of Life.
โI am the bread of life.โ โ John 6:35
The Old Testament repeatedly teaches us about cleansing, sacrifice, priesthood, blood, holiness, food, and access to Godโs presence.
The New Testament shows us their greater fulfillment in Christ:
The sacrifice โ Christโs once-for-all atonement
The priesthood โ Christ our great High Priest
Cleansing โ Christ makes His people clean
Access to God โ Christ brings us near
The bread that sustains โ Christ, the Bread of Life
The water that cleanses and gives life โ Christ, the Living Water
And the important thing is that we donโt have to force these connections. The New Testament itself develops them.
Hebrews tells us that the sacrificial system was pointing toward something greater:
โThe law has but a shadow of the good things to come.โ โ Hebrews 10:1
The Bigger Story
Leviticus is not a disconnected collection of strange rules.
It is part of a story that begins much earlier.
Genesis: God establishes His creation and we see humanityโs separation from Him.
Exodus: God rescues His people and comes to dwell among them.
Leviticus: God teaches His people how to live in the presence of a holy God.
Deuteronomy: God reiterates the covenant and calls His people to faithful obedience.
The New Testament: Christ fulfills the purposes toward which these things were pointing.
And the question underneath Leviticus remains the same:
How can a holy God dwell with sinful people?
The answer that unfolds throughout Scripture is not ultimately a ritual, a sacrifice, a food, or a purification ceremony.
God Himself makes the way.
And in the New Covenant, that way is Jesus Christ.
โFor by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.โ โ Hebrews 10:14
One of my favorite Elisabeth Elliot quotes has always been this:
โTo be meek is to have a sane and proper estimate of oneโs place in the scheme of things. It is a sense of proportion.โ
Elisabeth Elliot has been something of a spiritual mother to me. I have read her words in many different seasons, and depending on where I was in life, they have felt like correction, a lecture, encouragement, or sometimes simply a soft place to land. There were times I read her words and felt as though I were being lovingly disciplined by an older woman who had walked through suffering and knew something I desperately needed to learn.
One of the things she helped me understand was that meekness is not weakness. It is strength under control. It is having a right understanding of who I am in relation to God: I am the created, and He is the Creator. I am not sovereign, I am not in control of everything, and I donโt have to be.
That realization changed the way I looked at my life, particularly motherhood.
When my son was very young, during the isolation of COVID and the months surrounding his autism diagnosis, his needs and behaviors were becoming increasingly difficult to understand. He was nonverbal at the time, and sleep became almost nonexistent. There were months when I was getting less than ten hours of sleep in an entire week.
Looking back, it is remarkable to me that I was still functioning. I was caring for my son, tending to our home, continuing to work, and trying to learn everything I could about autism while running on almost nothing.
But I know now that it wasnโt because I was strong enough. God was sustaining me.
I remember one particular night, around three in the morning, after two days without sleep. My son woke me by slapping me in the face. He wasnโt being aggressive or disobedient. He was nonverbal and simply trying to wake Mommy because Mommy wasnโt waking up.
For the first few seconds after waking, I had an overwhelming urge to hit him back.
I was angry. I was exhausted. I was completely at the end of myself.
And as painful as it is to admit that, I am grateful for what God showed me in that moment. I saw my flesh in a way I donโt think I ever had before. I saw how quickly my exhaustion could expose the sinfulness of my heart. I saw how desperately I needed a Savior.
Being at the end of myself became an invitation to stop pretending that I could be sufficient for myself.
I began learning to pursue the Lord even when I didnโt feel like pursuing Him. Sometimes all I had to offer was five minutes of Scripture or ten minutes of prayer. Then five minutes became ten, ten became twenty, and eventually those small pieces of time became hours.
Some of my sweetest times with the Lord happened in the middle of the night while my son paced back and forth or watched the same short documentaries over and over again. I would sit with my Bible and pray, asking God to change me and make me the mother my son needed.
And then there were the bathtubs.
For a long time, water was one of the few things that helped my son regulate and feel safe in his body. So I spent a lot of time sitting beside the bathtub. Sometimes for hours. Sometimes more than once a day. Because of the safety concerns, I couldnโt simply leave him there. I had to stay.
I remember lying beside that bathtub and thinking about all the things I was missing out on. Motherhood was supposed to look so different. I had imagined something quieter and more predictable.
But somewhere in those long hours of forced stillness, I began to realize that maybe motherhood hadnโt gone wrong. Maybe this was simply what motherhood needed to look like in that particular season.
And I remember what felt like the quietest conviction from the Lord:
If you cannot be still before your son, how will you ever learn to be still before Me?
Those moments of stillness, along with the long nights of being completely dependent upon Godโs grace, eventually became the beginning of The Meek Momma.
I didnโt start this blog because I had figured motherhood out. I started it because I hadnโt.
I needed somewhere to put the honest emotions, the questions, the Scripture I was wrestling through, and the things God was teaching me. I hoped that perhaps another woman could read those words and find encouragement before she reached the same place of exhaustion and desperation.
Because the Lord gives us opportunities every day to turn toward Him. His mercies are new every morning.
And I think that is part of what meekness has come to mean to me.
It is recognizing that I am not enough, but also recognizing that I was never meant to be.
It is learning to live within the boundaries of my created place rather than constantly fighting to take Godโs place. It has changed the way I think about my marriage, my motherhood, my work, my leadership, my finances, my service to others, and even the way I respond when I believe I know what should happen next.
It has also changed the way I understand submission.
I believe submission to a husband, rightly understood through Scripture, is a beautiful thing. It does not require a woman to become voiceless, passive, or insignificant. It is not an erasure of strength. Rather, it is one of the places where strength can be brought under control and entrusted to God.
There is something beautiful about a woman who doesnโt have to dominate every room, win every argument, control every outcome, or prove that she is the strongest person present.
There is strength in knowing when to speak and when to be quiet. There is strength in yielding. There is strength in serving. There is strength in trusting Godโs order when our flesh would rather insist on our own.
That is why I love this definition of meekness so much.
A sane and proper estimate of my place in the scheme of things.
Not thinking too highly of myself, but not thinking too little of myself either. Simply understanding that I am Godโs creation, He is my Creator, and my life makes the most sense when I live within that reality.
I am still learning this.
I am learning it in my home, in my marriage, in my work, in the courtroom, in leadership, and in the way I serve families and volunteers. I still wrestle with my desire to control. I still have moments when my flesh gets the better of me. But now I know where to take those things.
Back to Him.
Elisabeth Elliot taught me that suffering is never for nothing. She helped me understand that all things stand in the shadow of the cross, and that when I keep my eyes there, I can begin to count even the hardest things as joyโnot because suffering is enjoyable, but because God is faithful to use even what I would never have chosen.
This is why I chose the name The Meek Momma all those years ago.
Sacrifice of some kind was a nearly universal practice among ancient peoples. Israelโs sacrificial system shared certain similarities with the practices of surrounding nations, but it was also distinctly different in several important ways.
1. Israelโs Absolute Monotheism
Israel worshiped one true God, Yahweh. The sacrificial system was not created by Israel as a means of manipulating multiple competing gods. God Himself gave Israel specific instructions for worship and sacrifice as part of His covenant relationship with them.
2. Sacrifice Was Connected to Holiness, Ethics, and Obedience
Israelโs worship was rooted in the character of God Himself. Because God is absolutely holy, His people were called to holiness.
The sacrificial system was therefore connected to sin, repentance, atonement, forgiveness, and obedience to Godโs covenant commands. Sacrifice was never intended to replace faithful obedience.
โYou shall be holy, for I the LORD your God am holy.โ โ Leviticus 19:2
The prophets repeatedly reinforce this truth: God does not delight in ritual performed apart from righteousness and obedience (1 Samuel 15:22; Isaiah 1:11โ17; Hosea 6:6; Micah 6:6โ8).
3. Israel Was Forbidden to Incorporate Magic and Occult Practices
Israelโs worship was not to be blended with the religious practices of the surrounding nations. God explicitly prohibited magic, sorcery, divination, necromancy, and related practices (Leviticus 19:26, 31; 20:6; Deuteronomy 18:9โ14).
Biblical sacrifice was never magic. It was not a technique for manipulating God or forcing Him to provide a desired outcome.
4. Israelโs Sacrificial System Had a High Moral Character
The biblical sacrificial system was fundamentally different from fertility religions and other surrounding practices. Israel was prohibited from incorporating ritual prostitution, sexual immorality, occult practices, and human sacrifice into its worship (Leviticus 18:21; Deuteronomy 18:9โ14).
Israelโs worship was to reflect the holiness of the God they worshiped.
Sacrifice Before Sinai
Sacrifice did not begin with the Mosaic covenant.
Long before Leviticus, Scripture records people offering sacrifices to God:
Cain and Abel โ Genesis 4:3โ5
Noah โ Genesis 8:20โ22
Abraham โ Genesis 12:7โ8 and following
Job โ Job 1:5
The biblical record clearly demonstrates that sacrifice was practiced among Godโs people long before the detailed sacrificial laws given through Moses.
The Mosaic covenant therefore revealed and regulated Israelโs sacrificial worship within their covenant relationship with God.
Cain and Abel: The Importance of the Worshiper
Genesis 4:3โ5 gives us one of Scriptureโs earliest accounts of sacrifice.
Cain brought an offering from the fruit of the ground, while Abel brought the firstborn of his flock and their fat portions.
God regarded Abel and his offering, but did not regard Cain and his offering.
The text does not explicitly state that Cain offered his โsecond best.โ What it does emphasize is that Abel brought the firstborn and the fat portionsโthe valuable portions of his flock.
The following conversation with Cain makes clear that the issue was not merely the physical offering. God addresses Cainโs conduct and heart:
โIf you do well, will you not be accepted?โ โ Genesis 4:7
The story therefore establishes an important biblical principle:
God cares about both the offering and the heart of the worshiper.
Why Cain and Abel Matter
The story appears remarkably early in Scripture, before Sinai, the tabernacle, the priesthood, or the Levitical system.
Already, Scripture is asking:
What does it mean to approach God rightly?
Cain and Abel introduce a theme that will continue throughout Scripture:
Worship cannot be separated from the heart and conduct of the worshiper.
This becomes essential for understanding the sacrifices of Leviticus. The sacrifices were not empty rituals performed mechanically. They belonged within a relationship of covenant faithfulness, holiness, repentance, and obedience.
Noah: Sacrifice and Covenant Grace
After the flood, Noah built an altar and offered burnt offerings to the LORD (Genesis 8:20โ22).
The LORD received Noahโs offering as a pleasing aroma and then declared His commitment to preserve the regular rhythms of creation:
โWhile the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.โ โ Genesis 8:22
The passage should not be understood as though Noahโs sacrifice manipulated God or changed Him from anger to mercy.
Rather, the sacrifice occurs within the larger story of judgment, grace, and covenant promise. God graciously commits Himself to sustaining His creation despite humanityโs continuing sinfulness.
As we enter Leviticus, we should first ask what each sacrifice meant within Israelโs own covenant relationship with God.
For each sacrifice, consider:
What was being offered?
Who brought the offering?
What was the worshiper required to do?
What did the priest do?
What happened to the blood and offering?
What portion belonged to God?
What portion, if any, belonged to the worshiper or priest?
What problem or need did the sacrifice address?
How did it relate to holiness, sin, forgiveness, fellowship, or thanksgiving?
How does the rest of Scripture develop this theme?
Where does the New Testament explicitly connect these themes to Jesus Christ?
This allows us to trace the sacrificial system toward Christ without forcing meanings onto the text that Scripture itself does not establish.
Key Thought
Sacrifice was never merely about putting something on an altar.
From the earliest pages of Scripture, sacrifice is connected with approaching God, responding to sin, worshiping rightly, honoring Godโs holiness, and living in covenant relationship with Him.
Israelโs sacrificial system was not unique simply because Israel sacrificed. It was unique because Yahwehโthe one true and holy Godโrevealed how His covenant people were to worship and approach Him.
As we study Leviticus, we will see the altar continually teaching Israel that:
sin is serious, God is holy, forgiveness is costly, and fellowship with God is a gracious gift.
